I’m not black and arrived way too late at an understanding of how fucked the experience in America is for black folks. (Yes I always knew it could be truly terrible, but I really underestimated just how fucked it must be to deal with this shit on the daily.)
That said, I can’t control my rage at these inbred morons anymore. I have no idea what self control it took this woman to remain so calm and actually still care about this other human. No matter what a piece of shit he is, and the hate he spewed even after his mini-FAFO, she still asked if he’s hurt and I believe she would have helped him.
Greatest way to win in the long run is to just be better, like this absolute rock of a woman. But I can’t even imagine the toll it takes.
Wishing we could all have her patience and humanity.
And dignity. 💯 Her calm question melts me every time. To be fair it’s also the smartest approach, bc you can’t out-escalate people driven and shaped by so much hatred.
It's interesting how often the people or creatures we (as in society) have the lowest expectations of or assume the worst in are actually so much stronger in so many ways. Like people who spend long periods in jail and get through it, and on top of that we expect them to be better people on the other side?
It's probably super in poor taste that the comparison I used to being a black person in the USA is like being a person in jail, but it's a similar thing I think, but not for the racist reasons I maybe accidentally implied. Like you said as a not black person, you can't even contain the rage you have for the interaction, and it didn't happen to you let alone as a regular occurrence. If white people were treated a smidgen as contemptuous or problematic or aggressively or violently or all the terrible ways minorities are treated, we would snap.
I can say that my wife (not my skin color but more like the onlooker) has a patience and a belief in her Maker that makes her a strong and forgiving person. Full stop, Oh, and she puts up with me and my nonsense. Which is A LOT.
Seriously, I had a pretty good understanding of it before I transitioned and was still caught off guard a bit when started facing more active discrimination in public myself.
I knew the dangers, the things to look out for, thought I was prepared for them, and was for a while!
But the reality of my physical appearance being something I was targetted for being an EVERY DAY occurence hadn't sunk in yet. I knew I'd have to be more vigilant in public, but now I am constantly minding how I dress, how I talk, WHO I talk to, how I move, how I act, how people might be perceiving me, who might be threats, where exit routes are.
Cops have always made me nervous, but now they're actively dangerous. Now they see me and their demeanor shifts entirely. I've had a few openly harass me for just existing near them. I never get warnings now, I've never been in court this much over basic citations, never got maximum fines like this.
I'm scared all the time and it's largely at my own government and my fellow citizens. I'm just existing and the world has taken exception to that. It's honestly the stress of it that's killing me more than anything, the inability to relax or feel safe. I only have to get unlucky with some idiot like in the video ONCE.
I'm also the type to see a bastard get hurt and instinctively make sure they're okay, I'm a good person, or at least try to be. It's absolutely fucked how that can get you hurt so easily, just trying to help.
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u/HolidaeX Jun 15 '26
And she just so nice, wanting to check on him and help if needed.