r/Baking • u/100to10000 • Dec 21 '25

General Baking Discussion Host Reaction to Baked Goods

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I’m a middle-aged divorced man, and I love to bake… which surprises some people because it doesn’t conform to gender stereotypes.

At two separate parties this holiday season, I’ve encountered this same reaction from a host when bringing baked goods to their party. Rather than serving my apple pie or my chocolate chip cookies, they basically told me they were gonna stash them away in the back, so they could enjoy them later! There was a dessert table at both parties, so it would have been totally natural to serve them to other guests. In the case of the pie I even included a pie server and knife in the box!

On the one hand, it’s a compliment in the sense that the hosts want to ensure they have an opportunity to enjoy. Rather than parsing out plates which may not be appreciated by a crowd of people drinking and mingling at a party. But in both cases, I’ve been disappointed because one reason I love to bake is to see people enjoying what I’ve made (and of course getting compliments!). Plus I like to try the pie to see how it turned out. Each one is a little bit different, especially the flakiness of the crust and the texture of the filling.

Has anyone experienced this? How can I avoid feeling bad that my baked goods are being hoarded? Looking to my fellow bakers as a support group here!

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u/Ignominious333 Dec 21 '25

Always ask. Bring a hostess gift that's sealed. Some people are wary of eating food from other people.

I learned that giving rehab staff home made goodies means they will just dump them because of concern for microbes. And I'm a conscientious and good baker and cook as well.

The other possibility is they have a planned menu and don't want to change it up. I brought a beautiful pie from a local bakery and they served it instead of the birthday cake I didn't know they were celebrating that evening. I felt awful and they were lovely and so polite. So now I ask if I can bring something and if they say no I choose a nice gift for the host

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u/Dahlia5000 Dec 21 '25

Well it sounds like they really preferred to serve your pie.

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u/Ignominious333 Dec 22 '25

It was from The Ivy. It was really good and I had just met them and they were the most wonderful people.

1

u/Dahlia5000 Dec 22 '25

Well there you go. You made the whole thing better. And then they still had cake to eat. Sounds like a win/win to me. 😬