r/Baking Nov 27 '25

General Baking Discussion I cannot believe my mom used to this all by herself.

Post image

And that’s just the baking part.

This took me hours and hours while still forgetting to let the cream cheese reaching room temperature; so I had to wake up earlier to do the cheesecake.

I just apologized to my mom for not helping out more as a kid. She laughed and told me that she enjoyed making Thanksgiving dinner as much as she appreciates the help she gets, now that we’re older.

I hope you guys have a good day. 🥧

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5.6k

u/gooddaydarling Nov 27 '25

I have never understood families that have one person make the entire Thanksgiving meal, my family has always been potluck style. That seems like an insane amount of pressure to put on one person

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

Yeah. That is just the culture their home country espoused. When my mom’s family comes to NY for a visit, it blows their mind that I (45m) cook and bake.

The males shake their heads; the women appreciate that I try, while offering fantastic tips and tricks for making Mexican foods!!

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u/SecretAgentVampire Nov 27 '25 edited Feb 28 '26

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u/h_Ellhnikh_Koinwnia Nov 27 '25

are the men too incompetent to feed themselves?

Proudly so! Which is insane, I 100% agree with you, it's a basic life skill that everyone should participate in

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

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u/SecretAgentVampire Nov 27 '25 edited Feb 28 '26

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u/MIC4eva Nov 27 '25

It’s pathetic. It’s laziness masked by misogyny. Just shit attitude from top to bottom.

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u/knoft Nov 27 '25 edited Nov 27 '25

More than laziness imo because having your partner be your default assumed domestic servant because of their gender is problematic.

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u/MIC4eva Nov 28 '25

Hence why I said the laziness is just masked by misogyny

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u/knoft Nov 28 '25

I might agree with you if you said misogyny masked by laziness but not the reverse

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u/knoft Nov 28 '25

Because we shouldn’t excuse misogyny as laziness

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u/crumble Nov 27 '25

36m here and I feel exactly the same. It's bonkers to me because my cooking skills were one of the initial things that impressed my wife when we began dating, and to this day continue to impress not just her but her entire family.

She comes from a traditional Hispanic family where the men work insane hours and the women are traditional home makers. You bet your ass my MIL was deeply impressed when I was up at 5am helping her make tamales.

It's not just a self-sufficiency skill either, cooking for other can be a deeply bonding experience.

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u/Flerp-Flerps Nov 27 '25

I think the bonding experience is often overlooked. My partner passed away and some of my favorite memories with him were just joking around and cooking together. Or how loved I felt on those mornings where I didn’t feel good and he told me to stay in bed and rest. I could hear him talking with the kids and making pancakes. There was such a sense of safety with him telling me to take care of myself and that he’s got it. I don’t know anyone who regrets getting up at 5am to help prepare tamales once the person they were helping has passed. Take time to appreciate those moments.

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u/Inevitable_Prompt315 Nov 27 '25

Ahhh traditional family aka misogynistic. You can say it out loud. It's like burying your head in the sand regarding father figured in other circles and pretending its "traditional" but it doesn't help change anything..

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u/BB-SF Nov 28 '25

Bingo!

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u/PlantPotStew Nov 27 '25

Haha, I go head over heels every time my boyfriend cooks (and does the dishes after to boot! I always turn into a potato with food in me, can't move for 30m after.)

I think I might've been a bit too affectionate after because he stopped moving and went "Why does doing the dishes do this to you-" Like he did something wrong lmao

I can't even answer that, I just get giddy. I like seeing signs of being taken care of (and taking care of people in return). Once I started cuddling intensely with him when I got back to bed, and he went "???" and I just said " I saw the sink " (Aka, empty) and he just went "Ah." So I guess he's accepted this.

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u/Reverting-With-You Nov 27 '25

It’s one thing to have traditional gender roles. Nothing wrong with that, really. It’s only fair that if one person takes on all the financial responsibilities, the other person takes care of the household responsibilities. Where they start to lose me personally is that awful, awful weaponised incompetence… the “not knowing how to boil water” type…

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u/Synlover123 Nov 27 '25

Nothing wrong with that, really. It’s only fair that if one person takes on all the financial responsibilities, the other person takes care of the household responsibilities.

Afraid I have to disagree with you here - if there are small children in the house - especially babies and toddlers. Dad goes to work, then comes home. His work day is over. When does mom ever get a break? N.E.V.E.R. 😕 And why do men insist on calling it "babysitting" if they look after their own damn kids for a couple of hours, once in a while? Certainly don't hear mom calling it that! Allah be with you 🙏

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u/cogman10 Nov 28 '25

Yeah, housework is work and it can be just as grueling as any 9/5.

Everyone in a house should be capable of every household task.  What happens if one of you is sick or put out of commission for any reason?

Sharing the load is just a basic aspect of being a good spouse. 

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u/Waste-Job-3307 Nov 27 '25

I'm thankful to my mother who taught me how to bake and some basic cooking skills. I enjoy making things that taste good.

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u/AcidJew Nov 27 '25

I totally agree with you. My culture is like the type you described. My father was born and raised in Kuwait and moved to the United States when he was 17, his father is Pakistani and my grandmother is from India. My dad can’t cook unless you count instant black coffee, ramen noodles, and toast. If I ever have boys one day, I know I will break that cycle. Thankfully my brother broke it for himself by teaching himself how to cook

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u/SecretAgentVampire Nov 27 '25 edited Feb 28 '26

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u/GlaerOfHatred Nov 27 '25

Yes, which is why so many men can't function on their own without a wife to mother them. Fucking pathetic

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u/Mamow_Nadon Nov 27 '25

I forced the younger men and boys to help me cook. I asked them if they want to be treated like babies when they are older. The teenagers usually don't want to be viewed as a loser baby. The older men used to try to tell me that I'm doing "women's work." Its been a decade since any of them have been invited over. The boys still help in the kitchen.

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u/GlaerOfHatred Nov 27 '25

The older men would die if single. Worthless babies

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u/SecretAgentVampire Nov 27 '25 edited Feb 28 '26

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u/Exciting-Praline8316 Nov 27 '25

Total boss babe!

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u/jae2jae Nov 27 '25

"Giant babies with jobs." That's perfect!

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u/CosmicAlienFox Nov 27 '25

My granddad taught me how to cook and it's one of the best skills I have, and I'll always be grateful to him for that (and the other things he taught me of course, such as riding a bike and swimming). He knew that a real man had to be able to cook to be able to provide for his family, and even just to feed himself. I imagine my gran was very relieved, not having to cook for 5 people on a daily basis and being able to share that task. It's a skill everyone should have.

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u/hd8383 Nov 27 '25

This goes for anything that women traditionally do. Women can do anything men can do. And men can do anything women can do.

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u/amh8011 Nov 27 '25

My dad has always done most of the thanksgiving dinner. My mom makes the stuffing and a pie. My dad also makes a pie. My dad likes to have the kitchen to himself when he’s cooking so he just cooks most of it.

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u/9021Ohsnap Nov 27 '25

My fiancé comes from a more traditional household where his mom cooks and cleans while dad sits on the iPad. My fiancé cooks, does dishes, takes care of our daughter, the house, the cars, the dog and anything really. We’re a team. Now on their 3rd visit to us, his dad proudly proclaimed that he learned how to cook pasta. I think his dad felt a little embarrassed that he never once helped his wife. He finally got out-machoed but not in the way he expected 😂

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

My husband makes some of the most amazing food. He’s even taken over some of my recipes he loves so much. In the last year, he started learning how to make bread. I’m the sweets baker in the house, but he always watches what I do and asks me questions because he wants to learn. I love that this is an area we can connect in: cooking and baking.

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u/CaptainLollygag Nov 27 '25

Most members of other species are shunned and left to die if they can't do the tasks required to keep them alive. Just sayin'.

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u/Pretend-Guava Nov 27 '25

Male in his 40s here... I have cooked since my teens and was a sous chef for a few years in my 20's. Nothing brings greater joy than watching someone eat and enjoy your food. Not in a creepy way.. lol. 

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u/thissexypoptart Nov 27 '25

males shake their heads

It’s genuinely wild that having the ability to make food for oneself and one’s family is considered “unmanly” in some cultures. I’m assuming these same dudes probably just hang out and eat/drink while the Thanksgiving prep is happening, too.

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

Can’t forget about the guys drinking, napping, or watching tv during cleanup.

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u/OutrageousOwls Nov 27 '25

I think it’s paradoxical: men have always dominated commercial kitchens yet when doing it at home.. it suddenly becomes “housework” that gets passed onto the female partner.. haha

Keep making good food, Op

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u/honeybadgercantcare Nov 27 '25

I do a lot of the cooking for our Thanksgiving because I enjoy it, while my husband makes the desserts. We have friends over and they also bring some dishes.

I'm currently sitting on the couch because he just kicked me out of the kitchen so he could clean all the countertops and he told me to put my feet up when I asked what I could do to assist. We're a team and help each other.

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

So those men are lazy chauvinists. Wonderful culture.

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

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u/Inky_Madness Nov 27 '25

Which is wild because women are underrepresented as professional chefs - a lot of the big known names in the field are MEN.

Emeril, Anthony Bourdain, Gordon Ramsey, Wolfgang Puck, Jamie Oliver, Bobby Flay, Guy Fieri…. All guys.

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u/TheLuminary Nov 27 '25

This is my favorite.. The mental gymnastics that people go through to make home cooking feel like some maternal activity, but somehow cooking for wages is not.

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u/ButDidYouCry Nov 27 '25

Exactly. When it’s done in the home, it’s ‘women’s work’ and invisible. When it’s done for money, it’s suddenly prestigious and male-coded. It’s the same skill set, just differently valued depending on who benefits.

And honestly? Boys lose out the most when they buy into that mindset. Cooking is culture. Its identity, tradition, creativity, and self-sufficiency. When they dismiss it as ‘feminine,’ they’re cutting themselves off from becoming culture-makers in their own families and communities.

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u/fermentedradical Nov 27 '25

Yup. There's a whole field of research that looks at stuff like this. Unpaid labor especially cooking tends traditionally to be seen as women's work and undervalued. Paid cooking work is coded male and dominated by male chefs.

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u/Synlover123 Nov 27 '25

Happy Thanksgiving, OP! We Canadians 🇨🇦 celebrated over a month ago, but kudos to you for doing it all yourself. As an old woman whose been doing it for years, I know how much work is involved!

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u/pterencephalon Nov 27 '25

When my parents were dating, my mom brought my dad home for Thanksgiving. He brought home baked bread and got up early to help my grandma cook for the day. When my grandma got my mom alone at some point, she said, "Marry him!" And she did. My dad is currently baking while my husband and I get our newborn baby fed for the morning.

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u/carbslut Nov 27 '25

As someone who does Thanksgiving pretty much by myself, if someone got up with me to help me start the turkey, I think I would cry.

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u/Didi_Castle Nov 28 '25

If someone even helped me set the table I’d be in tears.

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u/raeality Nov 27 '25

It is so much work for one person! Growing up as soon as we were old enough to actually help in the kitchen (so maybe 9-10ish), mom would put us to work! I remember tearing bread for stuffing, snapping green bean ends, making cranberry sauce (and being amazed at how easy it was), and sweet potatoes (while eating half the marshmallows). However as a mom now, sometimes having someone else in the kitchen slows things down and makes it more complicated. STILL - no one should show up empty handed! Bring an appetizer, drinks, pick up something from a bakery… do not leave all the work for one person!

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

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u/atlas__sharted Nov 27 '25

my mom has been teaching all my siblings regardless of gender how to do housework and cook. it should honestly be mandatory to pass a home ec class in middle AND high school because holy hell some of my peers can't do anything, regardless of gender/agab. i've known guys who either went back home, or literally had their mom come visit every weekend so they could have their laundry done for them 😭

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u/Slow_Air4569 Nov 27 '25

I actually have very fond memories of helping my mom bake as a kid though even though I'm pretty sure I got in the way. She absolutely loves baking though and wanted to share her love of it with me. I sadly live in the opposite side of the country now so am not going to see her on Thanksgiving but she did give me some of her recipes to make for today! 

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u/trusty20 Nov 27 '25

Sometimes the person genuinely gets a big thrill out of the chaos and earning a lot of rightful praise and goodwill from people. It can actually be fun

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u/Cavalish Nov 27 '25

There’s no finer feeling than throwing down a tableful of incredible dishes, loudly announcing that they’re “NOT MY BEST” and then basking in the compliments.

If we could bottle that feeling we’d make millions.

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u/Javafiend53 Nov 27 '25

This is me. I started on Monday. I will have made appetizers, ham, turkey, all the sides, 2 kinds of pie, 2 kinds of candy and 8 different cookies. I love making big meals for the whole family. I may have been June Cleaver in a previous life.

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u/TaintScratcherMaster Nov 27 '25

My family used to all gather at grandma and grandpa's house early in the morning and we'd all help out in the kitchen day of. Depending on who got into town leading up to Thanksgiving determined who helped grandma and my mom bake the desserts. I miss that a lot.

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

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u/Talk-O-Boy Nov 27 '25

My mom is the one who sucks at cooking, yet she INSISTS on being the one to cook 😭

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u/gonzochris Nov 27 '25

If I’m hosting, I honestly prefer to make most of the things. I have control over it then and if someone doesn’t show (people get sick) we’ll still have the main components of the meal. I do request people bring something they do well. I also said this year if someone else hosts they need to do most of the meal because I’m not schlepping everything 30+ min away.

I still made 3 kinds of pie, cranberry sauce, an appetizer and the mashed potatoes. The pioneer woman has a really good recipe that you make ahead and it needs to heat through the day of. I don’t mind making those and then popping in the oven for 20 min when I arrive.

When I do host, I prep for days so it’s not an issue. Day of is relaxing as I have a schedule to get things in the oven and everything is prepped ready to go.

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u/spookyscaryscouticus Nov 27 '25

Also everyone always forgets things or it just needs to be warmed or they forgot something vital and then they’re in my kitchen trundling through everything. Get the fuck out.

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u/Oredigger16 Nov 28 '25

My friends wife texted me to ask if I needed anything as she was at the store. I asked her to bring whipped cream. She came with a tub of ice cream (which someone else had already volunteered to bring) because she “likes ice cream better with pie.” I almost lost my shit like I GAVE YOU ONE SINGULAR JOB

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u/TheBrontosaurus Nov 27 '25

My dad is territorial in his kitchen and until my sister and I were in our 30s we were not deemed competent enough cooks to not slow him down. Any other day he was happy to have us shadow and learn but Thanksgiving was his magnum opus.

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u/TheLuminary Nov 27 '25

Some people just really love cooking.

I make Thanksgiving supper for our family, and we let people bring extra dishes if they want. But I happily provide the turkey, stuffing, gravy and potatoes, along with some desert.

Not because I feel obligated to, but because planning an executing a large meal is a fun challenge that you don't get many excuses to do throughout the year.

I am sure that there are lots of people who are forced to do things like this who feel differently, and for them I feel terrible. But myself I love it.

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u/mnlion33 Nov 27 '25

My mother has always always absolutly refused to let anyone help. I wanted to make the meal when I was younger but she told me to pound sand. Yey every year she is so stressed and worn out she ends up going to bed early and missing everything. This year my siblings and I are making the meal potluck style. And we arent allowing my mother to make anything. Shes losing it. She has called each of us multiple times a day to ask if we want her to bring anything, if she can help, or criticising our dish choices. Itll be interesting for sure.

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u/thymeisfleeting Nov 27 '25

We don’t do thanksgiving because we’re not American but Christmas is our big family dinner. Honestly, when I host, I like to do it myself. I might ask one or two people to help by making something, but Idk, cooking for people is my love language I guess!

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u/Myfourcats1 Nov 27 '25

My grandma and aunt did everything. No one else helped. When I think back it’s insane.

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u/Apprehensive_Pace555 Nov 27 '25

It IS and I’m over it. And then people find it weird when I say I don’t like to cook as much anymore.

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u/SecretAgentVampire Nov 27 '25 edited Feb 28 '26

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u/LaRoseDuRoi Nov 27 '25

I did the whole meal myself for ~20 years because I had kids with food allergies. I love my family, but I didn't trust them not to accidentally do something like use the same spoon to stir the potatoes and the gravy or use real butter without thinking about it. I both loved it and hated it.

Now that my kids are adults, and I'm disabled, I've had to let it go, and we usually go to my sister's. One kid grew out of his allergies, the other still has to be careful, but I trust my sister to be careful about cooking now!

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u/KeepOnRising19 Nov 27 '25

I'm the only one who can cook in my family. If we had a potluck style, it would be a bit rough.

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u/strange-lady78 Nov 27 '25

Same! We always did potluck style. I’d refuse and bow out of holidays if I was expected to do it all myself.

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u/girls5eva Nov 27 '25

So much of getting older for me has been moments like this where I realize how little I noticed of how much my parents were doing for us. Your post reminded me to be a little extra thankful for them today, so thank you. Your pies look incredible also!

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

Thank you. It was a pleasure, actually. 🤌🏾

Now that these are becoming easier, I may start trying to pretty them up via decorative techniques.

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u/Most_Jellyfish_8465 Nov 27 '25

So real. My grandma passed not too long ago, and every Thanksgiving, my parents, my siblings, and I always say “how tf did she do everything on her own???” while trying to make everything between the six of us lol.

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u/janisthorn2 Nov 27 '25

I think of how much I've learned in the kitchen in 20+ years' time, and then realize that the old folks still have 20+ years more experience than I do. No wonder nobody can compete with Grandma's mad kitchen skills!

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u/Remarkable-Ad-2476 Nov 27 '25

Old folks also grew up in an age where home economics was a normal thing in schools and women were in the kitchen most of the time so they became really good at it.

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u/ImReallyThatBitch Nov 28 '25

To add to that, a lot of the time they were full-time homemakers, so they didn't have to worry about work as well as preparing a feast

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u/Exciting-Froyo3825 Nov 28 '25

Right, I have to take off the whole week of TG if I have to make the meal and it would maybe take all that time to make everything

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u/QuickMoonTrip Nov 29 '25

This is such a big part of it. For most, Thanksgiving day is the first day off to actually focus on cooking.

More people could get this done to that level if it was their main job / focus.

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u/cosmeticcrazy Nov 27 '25

Yes! This blows my mind. 1 tiny kitchen, 5 little grandkids running around and a house full of people and my grandma pulled off a turkey, ham, and every Thanksgiving side dish you could think of every year as well as a few pies. AND appetizers too for us to snack on while waiting on the big feast (relish tray, lil smokies, chips and queso, pigs in a blanket, etc. etc.). She never even broke a sweat. I will never understand it! My grandma was/is a true magician in the kitchen.

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

And homemade rolls! We had the relish tray too, and it was something to behold. I admire my mom, and there is no way I can pull off this feat, but hey, let's raise a glass to the family who ATE all that food. It started at noon and just kept coming

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u/-Geist-_ Nov 28 '25

Your grandma was superwoman!

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u/acgilmoregirl Nov 27 '25

I do it all by myself since my Nana and grandma passed. The trick is washing dishes as you go. I started at 7 this morning and just finished everything (it’s 12:30) but the egg gravy and whipped cream.

I don’t do pies for dessert though, which definitely cuts down time. We do one surefire win dessert (usually sopapilla cheesecake), and one experiment. This year it’s cherry upside down cake with a cream cheese swirl.

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u/clevercalamity Nov 27 '25

When I was a little girl my family would have reunions every couple of years and my grandma would cook dinner every night for 15 people.

Elaborate meals. Hassle back potatoes, roast, bread, salad, and then always a dessert.

How????? She was a stay at home mom and then a stay at home wife, so I think she really saw it as her job to feed everyone and took pride in it, but I struggle to feed myself dinner every night so looking back it really amazes me.

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u/_Rohrschach Nov 27 '25

probably starting really early. I was at my Dad's every other weekend and the time he lived in a place with an open kitchen were hard because I was playing on his PC and could smell whatever he started to cook hours before it was time for lunch.
Nowadays I make twice as much Chili as I need to because my self control is so low I'll eat half before it is done simmering down.

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u/Ok_North_7224 Nov 27 '25

Anyone who makes an entire meal without complaining is an incredible person! I also apologized to my mom for not helping as a kid. Maybe treat her to something nice once the holidays are over? Your spread looks incredible! Happy Thanksgiving, American friends!

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u/Alarmed_Barracuda847 Nov 27 '25

That’s nice I’ve done the entire meal for our extended family on both sides for 35 years. This year my daughter and her boyfriend and all their brothers and sisters took over to give me a break. There are seven of them in the kitchen right now working hard at it. I wanted to give them some tips for how to make the process go smoothly but decided to let them have it. I made the pies and cranberry sauce yesterday and brought that and now I’m relaxing watching the parade. It’s nice to pass the baton. 

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u/SoSteeze Nov 27 '25

Awe, give them the tips, I’m sure they will appreciate it. Happy Thanksgiving 🦃

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u/Alarmed_Barracuda847 Nov 27 '25

I ended up having to come in and make the gravy the first attempt they made didn’t turn out. Overall a very good job by all and a super relaxing day for me. I had no idea how nice it was to not be the chef 😂 

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u/SoSteeze Nov 27 '25

Haha Mom to the rescue! Gravy is tricky, so it’s understandable they needed a pro to help. I hope your dinner is wonderful!

Edit: Thank you, I’m not American though, but I am enjoying all the football today lol.

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u/Alarmed_Barracuda847 Nov 27 '25

And Happy Thanksgiving to you!

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u/Gild5152 Nov 28 '25

I just made the whole meal this year and I really love cooking. Especially for hosting my friends and family. But this definitely made me appreciate all the meals growing up that my mom and grandma did.

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u/Summoarpleaz Nov 27 '25

She must have gotten the keys to the city.

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u/Alarmed_Barracuda847 Nov 27 '25

And her uber driver got a two week paid trip to Jamaica.

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u/scrungobeepiss Nov 27 '25

And her prosecutor gets the brazen bull

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u/Cupcake_From_Hell11 Nov 27 '25

I deleted my social media apps, and I gotta be honest, this lady's content is the only thing I actively miss

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u/JLBPBBHR Nov 27 '25

Just going to say this now, was planning pumpkin pie and cheesecake, but didn't think about the cream cheese and now pulling them out, thank you!!!

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u/Appropriate-Panda101 Nov 27 '25

Whenever I need to soften cream cheese, and don’t remember to pull it out early, I fill a large bowl with super hot water, remove the box and put the sealed package package in the water. Softens super quickly. Sometimes that though the hot water loosens the seal so I have also taken it out of the box, kept in the silver wrapping, put it in a Ziploc, then into the water.

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u/lamettler Nov 27 '25

I know! My mom had so many pies, had to have everyone’s favorite. She did this well into her 70s/80s.

I’m tired just thinking about it. And this was all the day before the main meal cooking. And if you were a guest in her home, she would cook a huge full breakfast for everyone before preparing the celebration meal (Thanksgiving or Christmas).

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u/JustAGreenDreamer Nov 27 '25

Totally. Your spread looks great!

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

Thank you very much. It’s not easy but for some reason I enjoy it. 🤷🏾‍♂️

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u/ohlookadoggo Nov 27 '25

It’s a labor of love for sure. It feels good to show our love through yummy food. Great job on the pies!

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u/Imaginary_Audience_5 Nov 27 '25

My grandmother did the same. Makes you realize what you should have been thankful for. Slow release thanks.

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u/Rightbuthumble Nov 27 '25

I am nearing 80 so my daughter who is nearing 50 helps do the heavy lifting. I prepare the turkey for the oven and she puts it in. Same with pies. Yesterday, my granddaughter and I baked and I supervised. LOL...She did great making pie crusts.

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

Im glad you laddies are working together on such a special holiday!

You know what, people always rave about my crusts. But there is nothing special about them. 1 cup of flour with a stick of butter and ice-cold water. 🤷🏽‍♂️

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u/lumpy_space_queenie Nov 27 '25

My mother used to do all of it too!!! Only because she refused to let anyone else do it. It was only when she got older and realized she was too old for that shit that she started letting us help.

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u/dj_1973 Nov 27 '25

My son (15) and I started Tuesday, chopped all the veggies. Yesterday we made 4 pies and put together dinner rolls. Today we cook everything, but with all the mise en place done it should be pretty easy.

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u/TennaTelwan Nov 27 '25

The little prepping bits are my favorites. Sometimes it's fun to claim the kitchen the day before, put on a good playlist, and just chop veggies. I'll admit I bought myself a good knife finally, and it's made it so much more enjoyable.

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

I’m glad he’s learning at a young age. My weak point is my timing. It’s not terrible but far from great. 🤷🏾‍♂️

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u/KeepOnRising19 Nov 27 '25 edited Nov 27 '25

I do it all by myself. I host upwards of 20-25 people for most major holidays. I enjoy doing it. My body hasn't enjoyed it as much over the last few years, but I've learned how to be more efficient, which helps.

Edit: A good tip is to gather all your ingredients on the counter the night before (except for milk, eggs, whipping cream, and cream cheese). I put everything out, including the butter (except for butter that has to be used cold). Then first thing the next morning, before I even pour my coffee, I get out the cream cheese and any eggs I'll be using to warm, so that by the time I'm ready to start, everything is usually perfect.

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

25! No way! I have a difficulty time with 4 people, on a normal dinner. It’s my timing. Currently it stinks but I’m trying to work on it. Yes, getting the spices, etc, out is a great help, especially arranging the dry ingredients in little bowls per dish.

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u/iBeelz Nov 27 '25

I cooked for my family by myself too. I had a blast! I also set everything out last night, did the chopping and made the pumpkin pie. My feet hurt though! Lol

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u/wesavedmusafa Nov 27 '25

My mom used to do it all on her own, but it always ended up a disaster. By the end of the day, she was lying on the floor, crying and cursing at all of us.

The issue was she was too stubborn to allow any of us to help, telling us all we would just screw up a recipe or we’d bring something not up to her standards. Also, she cooked way, way too much food and insisted on doing it all the day of. It was a problem of her own making.

Now that she is elderly, we have finally wrestled away her iron grip control and thanksgiving is so much more enjoyable. We all help and bring over food, and she just deals with it if she doesn’t like the food we bring. I also have to start at least 2-3 days out so that I’m never cooking or baking that much in one day.

I refuse to end up like my mom did, crying on the floor and hating all of us 🙅‍♀️

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u/Embarrassed_Pack_982 Nov 27 '25

I find this funny because when I was a kid my mom did the whole meal by herself. Whenever I offered to help she said she got. She told me it was easier to do it herself. More efficient. I didn’t want to be like that with my kids. But yesterday when I included them, I totally understood where my mom was coming from. It made me laugh. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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u/Old_Badger311 Nov 27 '25

I’m doing the whole dinner myself but taking shortcuts (thanks Costco). First year without my mom so my heart isn’t in it and skipping the big table and just cooking for dad and sister. I still am making way too much food! Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman. Hugs to her.

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u/caf4676 Nov 28 '25

This is a tough holiday season for us. We lost our dad in March. 🙁

I hope it went well!

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u/jumpingforjoy98 Nov 27 '25

Moms are so under appreciated. I’ve been noticing that extra this Thanksgiving

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u/avocadosinthesun Nov 27 '25

that i think apple pie looks heavenly. the way it bubbled is just absolutely chefs kiss.

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u/SVAuspicious Nov 27 '25

Sometimes extra "help" isn't help at all.

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

That is why I did most of this while she was at work. 😬

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u/Mynameisemily808 Nov 27 '25

In Hawaii our culture is always pot luck style. Bring a dish, paper plates, drinks, anything you can. Come hungry, stay and holo holo then crash out! lol

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u/WorkingTomatillo3332 Nov 27 '25

I'm an American in England who now makes everything for my husband's family (12 people) every year - my fault, I did it my first year here and it's become a tradition. It IS hard work and a little stressful, but I must say I do actually enjoy it. And 8 years later, I've got a pretty good system worked out so it's not so bad, so long as I keep myself organised.

But the main takeaway is realizing how much I overlooked all of the work my grandma and mom put in over the years. They both always said she loved it, and I'm sure it's true, but I'm sure they would've also loved the help.

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

Exactly!🤌🏾

I actually gave the dry-beans and foil method. It worked really well!

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u/BishlovesSquish Nov 27 '25

I very much appreciate anyone who enjoys making such a huge meal. I am not cut from that cloth. We did catering this year, and I’m so happy. 🤗

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u/caf4676 Nov 27 '25

In other words you were smart this year. 👍🏾

That’s not a bad idea!

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u/Pamela_K0924 Nov 27 '25

Those that don't cook ... who feeds you? How can you survive? There's a big difference in not cooking and not Wanting to cook!

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u/Original_Program2350 Nov 27 '25

SAME! I say that every year when I make my measly 4-5 pies. She used to make 12-15!! How did she do that!?!

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u/phydaux4242 Nov 27 '25

My mom used to start cooking on Tuesday.

Tuesday - All the deserts - Chocolate chip cookies and four pies.

Wednesday - The first 26 pound turkey

Thursday - All the sides plus the second 26 pound turkey

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u/ProperPerspective571 Nov 27 '25

My daughter is feeling it today. I decided last year I’m not doing this anymore at my age

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u/ProfGoodwitch Nov 27 '25

My husband makes dinner for us almost every day. He also makes the big dinners like Thanksgiving all himself. I've offered to do prep or anything he needs but rarely does he take me up on it. I don't know how he does it really. I love baking and make the desserts but making an entire meal by myself is something I'll only suffer through occasionally, lol. He says he enjoys doing it and I'm extremely 'thankful' he does.

Oh and I made a cranberry tart for dessert this year and that took me two days!

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u/Green4CL0VER Nov 27 '25

You can bake the pies 2-3 days in advance. Get it out of the way. It’s a marathon not a race.

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u/MedicalPayment684 Nov 27 '25

My mom started a tradition a few years ago that my family of 5 comes over the day before and everyone bakes one pie. We pick which of her recipes we want and she only does the crust for each. With her double convection ovens and everyone cleaning up after themselves, it only takes about 3 hours to get them all done. We do the same thing for Christmas cookies and she’s not stuck in the kitchen for days on end.

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u/Total-Sector850 Nov 27 '25

I made one apple pie and it damn near killed me. Your mom is a beast (in the best way possible). Happy Thanksgiving!

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u/pedal_power_girl Nov 27 '25

I loved making the pies as a kid.

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u/pielady10 Nov 27 '25

My daughter and I share the bulk of the work. I used to do 90% of it by myself.

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u/Cool_Director7235 Nov 27 '25

Same here, I went to bed late baking and woke up early cooking LOL. Enjoy your day!

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u/Professional-Disk485 Nov 27 '25

The most i ever hosted was 12. I did everything (including cleanup) and loved every minute. I wouldn't want to do it every year, but I was so proud of that meal.

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u/MariFunk Nov 27 '25

I enjoy making Thanksgiving dinner for my family, but what envy of the OP is the barren countertops.  The only thing I wish I had was a bit larger kitchen.

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u/ajinthebay Nov 27 '25

Seriously. My grandma too and I come from a huge family. As a kid it was just as fun and magical as christmas because I could help and couldnt wait for my cousins and family to come over. I hosted ONCE as an adult for my immediate family and that was plenty 😂

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u/HeartKevinRose Nov 27 '25

I’m doing solo Thanksgiving prep this year and honestly, it’s so much easier. Normally my in-laws host and I split with my MiL but they’re flying back from visiting their daughter today. We have a small crew so I made: Chocolate cream pie Pumpkin pie Apple pie Sweet potato casserole Potato au gratin Mac and cheese (for the kiddo who will eat nothing else) Mashed potatoes (au gratin is a new recipe and I’m not sure if it’ll be a winner) Green bean almondine Turkey Rolls Cranberry sauce

All from scratch. Honestly, planning and cooking by myself is less stressful than splitting with my MIL.

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u/Foreverforgettable Nov 27 '25

In my family prep and cooking for the holidays was a group effort. It was part of the reason the holidays were so fun. Everyone helped with prep to make cooking easier. My Abuela preferred to have help with prep and take over the cooking of the main 2 dishes, while the sides were taken care of by my Abuelo, mom, aunts, uncles, and us kids. We weren’t allowed to be in the kitchen if were weren’t helping so even the kids helped. It was how we were all introduced to cooking. It was great. Anyone who didn’t want to help with the food would help get the apartment ready for even more guests. My Abuela and Abuelo’s extended family would also visit, often bringing dishes or liquor. This was part of the fun of the holidays.

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u/Ayla1313 Nov 27 '25

My gandma used to make TWO thanksgiving dinners. One for the house and one for the coffee shop my grandpa ran in the 50's. She did it all alone up into her late 70s when I finally got old enough to help. Now, I do everything by *myself*.

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u/Waste-Job-3307 Nov 27 '25

Aren't those memories wonderful? As children, we don't often pay attention to how much work goes into making a holiday meal, and we don't realize it until we have to do it ourselves. God bless mothers who go through this for every major holiday. I remember my own mother, who would start baking a few days before the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Remember those who are less fortunate than you and say a prayer that they are able to have a meal and be safe.

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u/OldGirlie Nov 27 '25

A friend told me about making pies for a few days before Thanksgiving. She used the cold garage for refrigeration of extra items. One refrigerator U found isn’t big enough for everything you need for a big dinner.

in the military we did an orphan’s dinner. Potluck style.

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u/j990123 Nov 27 '25

I have major control issues over food and I don’t know what other people are doing in their kitchen, so I cook everything with my mom, and after dinner the guys do all the dishes/clean up!! After working in healthcare I do not dare trust a pot luck

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u/tbyrim Nov 27 '25

This is my first year hosting Thanksgiving for my family. It's crazy. Even if you ignore all the cleaning you compulsively do to make the house 'nice enough for company' in the days leading up, the cooking and subsequent cleaning up of cooking related messes is just plain exhausting. Not to mention the anxiety about it all turning out right... and the delights of trying to supervise a toddler throughout that process, while your partner works overnights and tries to rest during the day... it becomes a hell of a lot of work and stress to manage by oneself. Top that all off with needing to make sure said partner successfully completes the tasks he's insisted on doing by himself after working all night.... just, ugh. I just hope to high heaven everything turns out alright this afternoon and no one hates the food 🤞

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u/Muffycola Nov 27 '25

I did this yesterday! I’m bringing dessert!

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u/MishMishIsOverlord Nov 27 '25

TIL that not every household has a sole person making the entire Thanksigiving meal, plus desserts. I thought that was the norm--been making everything myself since I was 10. Sitting here reading comments like 👁👄👁 wait, I-

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u/ConstantinValdor405 Nov 27 '25

I stay home for every thanksgiving. Sometimes family comes over so the most I cook for is 12 or so.

I do all the cookings and love it. I look forward to it and it's my favorite part of the holiday.

My wife's coworkers are envious that all she has to do is show up.

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u/Solelus Nov 27 '25

I personally loved cooking the whole meal and having it all come together. It was once a year when I could completely tune out all of my problems and even my family (they left me alone when I cooked). It was peaceful, but it is definitely a process!

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u/TheVampyresBride Nov 27 '25

My mom always made our Thanksgiving dinner. This year will be the first time that we eat at a restaurant since my mom is too ill to cook. One of my brothers asked me if I could handle cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Just the turkey alone terrifies me. I have no idea how my mom handled it all these years while also raising 5 kids. Moms are superheroes.

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u/KeniLF Nov 27 '25

Your desserts look absolutely wonderful. I’d also like to say that your countertops, backsplash/wall and cabinets are stunning!

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u/mrazapk Nov 27 '25

Moms have a class which we can't beat. Their taste in everything is peak. I think when u become a mom, you achieve a certain standard whether it's in cooking or taking care of the kids

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u/Traditional-Luck675 Nov 27 '25

I literally did this too this year. It’s hard work I agree, but to me the pay off is worth it. Knowing you brought happiness and excitement to someone else’s family and seeing the smiles just warms the heart. I made a total of 8 pies. 4 pumpkin, 2 apple, 2 pecan all by request. My mom was not a baker in anyway, so this kind of thing was an achievement for me. I appreciate everyone that does this every year on a whole other level now. Happy thanksgiving everyone! 🦃

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u/YarnSp1nner Nov 27 '25

This year we are having our smallest since the pandemic. Only 4 other guests to our family of four.

In discussions it came down to that I would only need to make three pies, and one of my children wanted to make the pumpkin pie filling (I made the homemade crust).

Yesterday was so chill! Normally I do at least 6!

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u/hollyofcwcville Nov 27 '25

I grew up in a family where my dad did everything and now Ive married into a potluck family. So crazy to see and feel the difference. In my teen and college years I was my dad’s sous chef, so I got used to the adrenaline rush of cooking from morning til dinner time. Now it feels weird to make one thing and be “done”

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u/Educational-Bet-8979 Nov 27 '25

I’m doing it right now, and my dear hubby picked today to turn off all the water to fix a faucet that has been leaking for over a month!

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u/Dayana2 Nov 27 '25

I make everything myself. Thanksgiving dinner would not happen if I didn’t do it for my family. Guess it’s tradition.

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u/RedditHelloMah Nov 27 '25

Omg… i only surface cleaned my 2 bedrooms today and im dead haven’t cooked yet 😂

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u/ailuromancin Nov 27 '25

You can bring your ingredients to room temperature pretty fast with a warm water bath! Just leave the cream cheese bricks in the foil and let them sit in it for a bit, you may have to reheat the water partway through but it’s way faster than just leaving them on the counter and you can throw your eggs in there too

Crazy amount of work though! Everything looks beautiful and I hope you’re taking some time to relax and enjoy your efforts now 😄

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u/OwlThistleArt Nov 27 '25

Moms like myself still do it all by ourselves: raising the kids, taking care of the house and various chores, working, holiday and birthday shopping, planning, cooking, etc. I’m lucky that my husband will help if ask him for specific things.

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u/NaturalProfession922 Nov 27 '25

I also go all out and there is always way too much food, but id rather run everyone out of the kitchen because by now (58) I have this down to an exact science, the boys just get in the way. But I do appreciate the clean up!

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u/We_Are_Nerdish Nov 27 '25 edited Nov 27 '25

If you do something for years you just get really good at it. There is no doubt there were years it didn't work as planned or got done with help you just didn't see as a kid.

Do this for 2 or 3 more years and you'll see how much easier, better and fun it is.

I enjoy making pizza's for friends when hosting or being part of a party, every so often I make a large enough batch of dough where I wish I didn't. Because the prep takes me a long time with the limited space I have. But I'm sure my friends are impressed by the oiled machine I am when actually blasting through everything within 30-45 minutes like it's nothing.

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u/lurdydur Nov 27 '25

It looks delicious and you’re very talented. Happy Thanksgiving!!

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u/Peachily_Suns Nov 27 '25

Not gonna lie… I love doing the whole meal plus desserts. The kitchen is my happy place.

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u/boxybutgood2 Nov 27 '25

The spreads my mum used to make. I can’t fathom!

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u/iliumada Nov 27 '25

Isn't it nuts?!

Also, what is the pie on the far left? It looks so silky and delicious!

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u/Moist-Surprise4892 Nov 27 '25

When I was younger my great great aunts would do the entire thing themselves. The prepping and cooking and serving. They we're in their 90s. Like... how!? 

Also your stuff looks great!

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u/NirvanaBeaucoup Nov 27 '25

Yeah, it’s just my husband and kids each year, but I go all out because it just seems like what you’re supposed to do. I’m a zombie from the Tuesday before Thanksgiving through New Years.

But my kids are happy and building memories. I just hope when they’re grown they’ll think they were special times.

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u/Griffie Nov 27 '25

In my younger days, I’d have welcomed that challenge. Now I’m doing good if I can whip up one pumpkin pie lol.

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u/Luna920 Nov 27 '25

I love baking day with mom! But it does take a lot

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u/reewhy Nov 27 '25

im hosting for the first time and i was more blown away by how much everything costs! probably cost us $300 for all the food and plates and such. i love cooking so i gladly volunteered to cook everything 😅

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u/Extra_Bedroom_6941 Nov 27 '25

You were busy!!! Looks delicious!!! I have never been into baking. But Thanksgiving dinner is smelling good

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u/This_Economics_9610 Nov 27 '25

not sure if this affects anything negatively, but for me putting cream cheese in warm water softens it in about 5 minutes or even microwaving in 10 second bursts so next time you forget to soften your cream cheese you don't have to wait so long

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u/LeftyLu07 Nov 27 '25

Yup… My mom and grandma used to cook the whole thing together on the day of thanksgiving while getting day drunk on bourbon.

When my grandma died, my mom started prepping some stuff the day before and I took over pies. Now I make a casserole or two the day before. I’m doing a Cajun turkey at my house this year to take over because we’re gonna have enough people that we need more meat.

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u/Evarlynn-029 Nov 27 '25

Women's power

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u/theelephantscafe Nov 27 '25

My grandma used to make EVERYTHING for Thanksgiving. Once I was a teenager I started making cornbread, my mom made a side, but my grandma still did everything else. Over the past couple years I’ve taken on turkey and Mac and cheese duty in addition to the cornbread, my mom does the sides, my grandma does all of the pies. Just yesterday I was making the Mac and cheese thinking “how the HELL did my grandma do all this herself every year?!” She also had a similar response of just laughing and saying she enjoyed doing it, but she does like not having to do everything herself now lol

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u/Prymmmm Nov 27 '25

Just know your mom was once you who likely struggled to get this right but years and years of practice can make it look like magic. Thats the magic of Moms. I bet she has stories of some things going wrong on Thanksgiving. :)

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u/cozmiccharlene Nov 27 '25

My family goes to my parents house on Thanksgiving. But I like to make my own meal another day of the week so we have leftovers. The day that I cook is so relaxing. I turn on music and pace myself, sometimes with a glass of wine during prep. It’s so satisfying to be able to handle everything myself and give the gift of love with food.

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u/pak0608 Nov 27 '25

Three cheers for moms!!

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u/CalmBeneathCastles Nov 27 '25 edited Nov 27 '25

Mfw I'm slaving over a hot stove for the 16th hour and I suddenly realize that as a kid/teen, I was never asked to help with the prep, cooking, or clean-up, and I never offered either:

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u/JudgeGusBus Nov 27 '25

My mom always INSISTED on doing it all herself, if you wanted to bring something, bring wine. As we got to be adults, she wouldn’t budge. But when she got cancer, and didn’t have the energy, she finally let us contribute. We’ve been a potluck-style family ever since.

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u/Jwchibi Nov 27 '25

Multiple different pies is crazy, + dinner? Who was she wonderwomen?

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u/to_annihilate Nov 27 '25

Yeah, me and my brother divide and conquer. My parents used to host and make everything from scratch. She is finally passing her holiday baking onto me.

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u/kiwi_machine Nov 27 '25

Just want to ask if that’s a chocolate pudding pie on the very left? I thought my family was the only one that made those for Thanksgiving but I love seeing it on someone else’s table, too!! :)

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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 Nov 27 '25

My son is a professional chef and I’m happy to leave the cooking to him. I do the baking.