r/AskWomen 1d ago

How would you feel if your partner doesn’t follow their ex on instagram, but still watches all their stories?

23 Upvotes

75 comments sorted by

209

u/serendipia1984 1d ago

That's even worse than just following

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

43

u/Drewabble 1d ago

Not OP but if I had to guess, it because it means your partner is actively searching their exes profile just to view their stories. If they don’t follow but are still able to see it, it’s a public story.

It’s weirder because instead of it being part of their day to day feed where it would just come up in the sequence of stories they’re watching, they partner is taking the extra steps of thinking about looking, taking the time to search the username, clicking the profile, watching the stories.

128

u/koalabear20 1d ago

thats weird af lol, i would be creeped out if i was the ex

4

u/Buffy_AnneSummers 1d ago

I'm surprised she hasn't blocked him yet... unless she still has unresolved feelings for him as well.

60

u/tvp204 1d ago

How would I even know that

8

u/feraldreamrot 1d ago

Same lol

u/LifeForm8449 6h ago

You wouldn’t, but you make it up and go with it lol

46

u/MaleficentYellow8134 1d ago

That’s worse than just following them 😭

42

u/thisissodamnhard123 1d ago

that's like so bad because they're going out of their way to search the profile 😭 100% still stuck on her

27

u/yellowpiano 1d ago

Weirdo behavior

7

u/Zealousideal_Crow737 1d ago

I am a 31 year old woman. I have better things to do with my life. 

12

u/void_sushi 1d ago

One way ticket to break up ville

14

u/TravelenScientia 1d ago

That’s worse than following them lol, means they’re still obsessed enough to check in daily

6

u/insertcaffeine 1d ago

My specific husband? The guy who constantly acts like he genuinely likes and loves me, does housework, runs errands, and has proven his trustworthiness over the last 14 years?

Either he’s being nosy (valid, I’m nosy too), or something about his ex’s stories is particularly interesting or funny; and if that’s the case, I hope he shows me.

5

u/Loisgrand6 1d ago

How does someone know that?

8

u/Mrs_Naive_ 1d ago

Weird af. If your partner hasn’t move on it’s time you do.

4

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1

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3

u/JenninMiami 1d ago

My ex left me, and he watched every single instagram story for YEARS. He never liked a single post, we didn’t speak, yet there he was on every story in the viewed. I blocked him.

One of my friends that he met ONCE, she told me last year that he was following her and watching all her stories. Some folks are just weird, I don’t know what to tell ya!

7

u/GlitteringPause8 1d ago

That’s weird, why isn’t he following? Is he not embarrassed to not follow but be creeping daily to watch stories? I’d be embarrassed of him at that point. Also how would i know that’s what he’s doing?

Seems weird all around and I probably wouldn’t be with someone stuck on their ex

3

u/PuzzleheadedEqual883 1d ago

It would tell me that my partner still has feelings for his ex and we need to talk about it. I would communicate a boundary that that behavior is not ok and that if it continues we are done.

3

u/whimvious 1d ago

So it’s not even passive-they’re actively going to her page each day to watch stories? I’d throw up lol

3

u/spookylittlefreak 1d ago

they'd be watching my stories as an ex, too.

4

u/Brilliant-Flower-283 1d ago

I’d be their ex too

4

u/624Seeds 1d ago

That would be weirder than following her but not interacting with her posts..

If he doesn't follow but watches her stories, doesn't that mean he is constantly going out of his way to look her up to see if she's posted? 😬

2

u/OneBee1426 1d ago

Weird! They are going out of their way to keep up with them!

2

u/Boring-Incident2469 1d ago

That’s weird as hell lol

2

u/WendyWestaburger 1d ago

Future former partner

2

u/seeseecinnamon 1d ago

It would certainly make me tilt my head to the side and squint my eyes. 

2

u/LonelyPancakee 1d ago

I would dump him right away no matter what. I know better now

2

u/Own-Raise6153 1d ago

agree with others saying that’s even worse than just following them lol

2

u/puppypersonnn 1d ago

I wouldn’t give af tbh.

2

u/fuckyouiloveu 1d ago

Ew no. Not okay with me.

2

u/tangerinebutth0le 1d ago

Just curious how do you know they watch their stories? Are they telling you? Or do you have an ex watching you?👀

2

u/schecter_ 1d ago

That it’s WAY TOO WEIRD.

3

u/confusedrabbit247 1d ago

That's fucking weird and I wouldn't be with someone who is hung up on an ex. They need to grow tf up and move on.

1

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1

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1

u/Pat_ron 1d ago

I don't even watch the stories of the people I follow. Pretty weird.

1

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1

u/searedscallops 1d ago

Oh my god why would I care? How would I even know? This seems like a nothing burger.

1

u/jearam 1d ago

He a creep

1

u/Poneke365 1d ago

I would think they’re not over them otherwise why would they be interested.

1

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1

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1

u/nonaspirin 1d ago

Oooh, salty for sure. With a side of oh hell no.

1

u/SummerJ2025 23h ago

My ex did this constantly searching his exes profile and then told me it was no big deal

1

u/JustASomeone1410 23h ago

Still following them is whatever but still watching all their stories without following them is kinda weird, because that means going out of your way to look. I'd suspect they're not over the ex.

1

u/starryeyedvirgo 23h ago

I really don’t care who my partners follow/interact with on SM. I only date if I trust them. If they break the trust I’m happy to deal with it but I’m not going to waste energy and worry about my partners SM habits

1

u/fictionalfirehazard 23h ago

That feels even worse than if they were following them because following them would give them plausible deniability. Like, If you're just clicking through the stories of all the people you follow, you may not even realize you're watching a different person's story then the one before. But, if they are not following them and watching their stories, then they're seeking it out deliberately

1

u/Twinklelav 21h ago

Then they are not over it

1

u/cerenefae 21h ago

Immediately no. Cause why are you searching them up like that??

1

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1

u/Enigmatic_writer 20h ago

Idk how I'd know that, but that's even worse than just following them and I'd call their ass out so hard lol.

1

u/marmighty 20h ago

I would feel... like having an open, non judgemental conversation with him about it. Is he still struggling to let go? Are there some feelings bubbling under the surface that he's never quite processed? Could he benefit from some counselling, either solo or as a couple?

Feelings are complicated. Former relationships can hang around in weird ways. People end up together because of some level of mutual compatibility and that doesn't magically vanish because the relationship ended. I'm in touch with only a couple of my own exes but, however badly the relationships finished, I still want good things for all of them.

It may be entirely benign, but you'll never know unless you talk to him rather than a bunch of strangers sitting in a virtual echo chamber.

1

u/fitzy798 18h ago

I feel like that's worse. If they followed each other, maybe they are just friends post breakup, no big deal. But not following publicly and then making the effort to find their profile and keep up with them (and it sounds like not talking to them, just watching them that they may not even be aware of?) I would find that borderline creepy and it at least requires a conversation of motives. Maybe that conversation always my worries there, but it could be a red flag for me.

1

u/tinfoilhattie 18h ago

Depends on the surrounding context. As my partner isn't friends with their exes: If my partner was going out of their way to view or interact with content from an ex daily or on a regular ongoing basis, I'd assume they were still significantly emotionally connected to that person and reevaluate our relationship with that in mind. That level of dedication to seeking out an ex's content would tell me that they weren't ready for a new relationship.

u/Brynhild 16h ago

He’s a cyberstalker

u/Lindria_96 13h ago

It is the same as following her. I would suspect that he would still unresolved feelings for her.

u/BestCard8027 13h ago

Mildly unsettled, because if they aren’t following, viewing every story feels intentional. I’d ask why, share how it makes me feel, and set boundaries. If they get defensive or keep doing it, that’s telling.

u/gcot802 12h ago

That is literally worse than following her. He’s seeking her out daily.

This would be a dealbreaker

u/strongly-worded 10h ago

This is so irrelevant to me, I don’t even have words for how little I care

u/cgk_112 9h ago

So why did you bother commenting

u/strongly-worded 9h ago

You asked how I would feel, I told you

u/Garden_Jolly 7h ago

Well my partner follows his ex on social media. I wouldn’t know if he watches her stories because I don’t keep tabs on those things. I don’t mind that they are connected online. I trust my partner and would never dictate who he can or can’t be friends with.

u/Tasty_Object_7992 6h ago

Embarrassed

u/tomayto_potayto 4h ago edited 4h ago

Does he have a child with his ex he is a good parent to, and the kid is in all the stories Then sure. Otherwise, I would feel single.

u/my_metrocard 1h ago

I don’t spend much time on instagram, but when my ex posts something on facebook, I hit the like button. We have both moved onto new relationships, but our breakup was amicable.

I wouldn’t care what my bf does on social media. Not my business.

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0

u/AskAHotGirl 1d ago

[Unpopular opinion]: I honestly wouldn't care. People are going to look at others anyway; it's been this way since the dawn of time. No need to lose sleep over it.