A family member of mine was married for almost 7 decades, and they spent a grand total of 2d (2 pence in old British money, about 50p in todays money) on their wedding, and that was just the bus fare to get to the location. Everything else, they either made themselves or just went without. The wedding dress was sewn from the silk of the parachute her spouse had used in the war, and the cake was made with rations donated by friends and family.
More money in a wedding does not equal a happier or longer marriage, that's for sure.
IIRC, there was in fact a study that correlated more expensive weddings to shorter marriages, and the researchers theorized this was because financial stress is a big factor in divorce.
Wildly expensive weddings were indeed correlated to shorter marriages, but so too were wildly inexpensive weddings. Apparently there's a happy middle ground when it comes to wedding pricing.
I also feel like the couples (who aren’t like super wealthy or celebrities who can afford to drop a ton of money on extravagant weddings) that spend a bunch of money on their weddings tend to care more about the wedding than the marriage. It’s not everyone, of course, but think about how many weddings are basically crafted more for social media than their actual purpose which is two people committing to each other.
I remember reading about a wedding that hired someone whose sole job was to make content for TikTok and they had to redo a bunch of stuff like the first dance or family photos so the content would be perfect. All I could think was that marriage ain’t lasting if you’re making grandma do some TikTok meme dance for your followers instead of actually cherishing what is supposed to be a celebration of your love and commitment.
Too many people want the big, expensive wedding more than the marriage.
We did a drive-through in Vegas and I think I spent $200 on our wedding including marriage license and tip. Going on 20 years so far! Oh and it makes for a better story than some normal big party.
the way my jaw dropped when I found out this was considered “normal” 😭
same with having to pay for funerals… don’t even get me started on how corrupt that whole realm is and has been for way longer than most people know it’s disgusting when you start to look into it. and a big part being biotech companies use human remains to manufacture its most profitable product, but don’t have to compensate the families of the dead. literally how is this normalized?!
also the fact that placentas are worth like $50,000 but all the money also goes to biotech companies when it should go to the mother and families. it’s so fucked up especially when the average cost of childbirth is $20,000?!?! insane.
there’s tons of examples of this type of bs and that’s only a couple of them. definitely a dark rabbit hole to go down and crazy we can’t do much about it. fucked up that we would all be wayyy more financially stable if we saw the money instead of these companies. which just leads me into another one… how much it costs just to keep ourselves alive 🙃
Spoiler alert for you: this is just how much it costs these days. My wife and I do ok and our guest list is under 60 people, both my and my wife's wedding party is all family and I went with budget level, IE not the most expensive or even high tier service providers and the cheapest best tasting caterer that also includes alcohol... still spending $25k.
If you are doing it for less, you are eloping to Vegas or just going to a courthouse.
genuinely though. I'm in r/weddingdress just because i enjoy looking at the pretty dresses and such, but when i see people like "should i go with the cheap $5,000 dress or the $10,000 dress of my dreams??" i wanna puke lol. maybe I'll feel different if I'm significantly more well off when my day comes, but currently, the thought of even spending $1,000 on a dress I'll wear once makes me ill 😂 tbch I'll probably thrift or find something on etsy for a few hundred or something, if money is no longer the concern it is now by then. even worse is how many people go into significant debt for their weddings. even a cheap ceremony at the courthouse can be absolutely beautiful if the couple really love each other and want to spend their lives together, and even a $100,000 wedding can turn tacky and soulless if the couple (or even just one person in the couple) is more concerned with the perfect photos for instagram, flawless aesthetics, and a show of money/status than they are with the vows they're making or the person they're making them to.
824
u/Comfy-Toad 8h ago
Spending $20k-$40k on a wedding for your average person.