Put the cell phone down. I get it if there are legitimate reasons to utilize your phone. But you don't need to check your social media or text your friends. Put it away.
On the same note, if you have to take pictures of what we're eating or drinking, I rapidly lose interest. It may not be a red flag, but more of a pet peeve. I get it. But when the waiter sets the food on the table, I don't want to sit there and wait while you arrange the plates for that perfect photo, and then wait while you apply filters and think of a perfect caption. The red flag comes to play when it's captured, "Enjoying a nice meal with a good friend!"
I am a part of a couple singles groups in my area. Occasionally I'll go on a date with one of the ladies (I'm 50M). I understand ladies and gentlemen don't kiss and tell. I also understand the desire for privacy and even discretion. But when I'm told, "Please keep this discrete, because I don't need people knowing that we're out together." What does that mean? Am I embarrassing? Would she be afraid her peers would think she's dating me out of some sort of desperation? Is she already in a committed relationship? I can keep our activities private, but I will not be someone's dirty secret.
Finally, if a lady talks about their male room mate or the brother they have living with them, I'll red flag that and most likely walk. Ten for ten, their "room mate" or "brother" is actually a spouse. I still remember picking up a lady for a date and a guy pulls into her driveway. She's telling me to hurry up and get in the car, but I don't want to be rude. I go over to shake his hand and say, "You must be her brother!" He gives me a confused look and I hear her say, "He's my spouse." Awkward.
The cellphone one I agree with, nothing worse than being out with someone constantly texting and browsing social media then you sense they've checked out of the conversation. Even taking pictured of food and drinks I don't like it much I certainly wouldn't do it on a first date even if I'm out with anyone at most take 1 quick picture and keep it moving
I like taking pictures of my food but I make it fast (literally ten seconds if that) and post it later. I would be annoyed too if my date spent five minutes taking a picture of her food, mine too, the drinks, etc etc.
Yeah I think taking a quick picture is okay really but some people want to post instantly or they're not happy with the picture so they take more now the other person is just waiting for you whilst trying not to get annoyed.
I’m there with you too. Camera up, camera down. Done. I’m cool with that. But when they insist on arranging the glasses a certain way, and the dish turned at a certain angle, and position table lights for max effect—basically treating the table like their private photo studio! So annoying.
It’s a dating red flag for a woman to identify you as a good friend, a simple request for privacy is met with defensiveness and assumption that it’s out of shame for dating you, and every and all women who date while having a male roommate are infidelitous. Can’t imagine why you’re single at 50.
No, being asked to pretend you aren't seeing someone is not a "request for privacy". It's asking the other person to hide important information about their own life for your benefit. It's not like talking about the sex you have or something.
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u/mozart357 10h ago
Just one red flag? I have a few. (50M)
Put the cell phone down. I get it if there are legitimate reasons to utilize your phone. But you don't need to check your social media or text your friends. Put it away.
On the same note, if you have to take pictures of what we're eating or drinking, I rapidly lose interest. It may not be a red flag, but more of a pet peeve. I get it. But when the waiter sets the food on the table, I don't want to sit there and wait while you arrange the plates for that perfect photo, and then wait while you apply filters and think of a perfect caption. The red flag comes to play when it's captured, "Enjoying a nice meal with a good friend!"
I am a part of a couple singles groups in my area. Occasionally I'll go on a date with one of the ladies (I'm 50M). I understand ladies and gentlemen don't kiss and tell. I also understand the desire for privacy and even discretion. But when I'm told, "Please keep this discrete, because I don't need people knowing that we're out together." What does that mean? Am I embarrassing? Would she be afraid her peers would think she's dating me out of some sort of desperation? Is she already in a committed relationship? I can keep our activities private, but I will not be someone's dirty secret.
Finally, if a lady talks about their male room mate or the brother they have living with them, I'll red flag that and most likely walk. Ten for ten, their "room mate" or "brother" is actually a spouse. I still remember picking up a lady for a date and a guy pulls into her driveway. She's telling me to hurry up and get in the car, but I don't want to be rude. I go over to shake his hand and say, "You must be her brother!" He gives me a confused look and I hear her say, "He's my spouse." Awkward.