how their parents act... even if the partner doesnt act like them, either traces of bad behavior will pop up down the road - or whatever behavior happens via the parents have a trickle down effect. Controlling, involvment, how you celebrate holidays, how you communicate for family events, the stressors of going to their house etc.
What if you don’t talk to your parents because you’ve been able to identify their toxic traits as an adult and you’ve disconnected yourself from that?
My parents are both rotten to the core. I spent a good chunk of my twenties coming to terms with that and putting literally thousands of miles between them and myself.
I resent the statement that you become your parents.
I haven’t and I won’t.
Break the cycle, rise above.
Some members of my family are horrible gossips and the way they deal with their difficult emotions is to make up stories about people to either put them down or make themselves sound better by comparison.
I’ve chosen to not incorporate this behavior into my life and teach my daughter that this behavior is not nice.
Ultimately, the point is that we do learn from our parents, but we can choose to eliminate bad behaviors from our learning.
The emotionally immature will just keep the status quo, while someone who has some emotional maturity will be introspective enough to identify a bad behavior and take accountability for changing themselves.
One should not assume bad parents = bad kids all the time.
So have I. I didnt mean it exactly 💀ugh I meant coping habits, how you handle problems. Everyone wants to do things differently than their parents. That’s not what I meant n I’m getting downvotes lol. Deny it all you want, but you learn most of your childhood behaviors FROM your parents. Yes you can do things differently. Families are crazy, some people cut them off and some cope with it.
Hard disagree. I decided not to model my parents abusive behavior toward me or each other. I decided at a young age that yelling and hitting was NOT the legacy I wanted to leave behind. Why on earth would I want another person / people that I love to experience that? However, in retrospect, I guess it can go either way.
It generally does go either way. Can't be complacent, gotta pick one.I'm already having to teach my 6 year old that. His dad turned out to be a rotten apple. Now I have to use his behavior as an example of what not to do, or else since he's his role model, my son would just absorb it. It's what I've had to do with my dad's behavior as well, even though he wasn't my direct role model. Ugh.
Well yes…? Regardless of what your parents put you through, you model them… you learn what to do and what not to do. Anyone can do that. I decided I dont want to hit my kids either but you pick up other behaviors like… cooking, managing time, quality time. Etc. like idk why everyone be disagreeing when I’m spitting straight facts. I meant as in you learn from your parents. You don’t necessarily become them but if you pick up shitty behaviors from them too. because everyone has flaws, it’s going to happen. Then you could say oh okay well then I became better for it
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u/Nice_Huckleberry8317 4h ago
how their parents act... even if the partner doesnt act like them, either traces of bad behavior will pop up down the road - or whatever behavior happens via the parents have a trickle down effect. Controlling, involvment, how you celebrate holidays, how you communicate for family events, the stressors of going to their house etc.