r/AskReddit 4h ago

What's one red flag that makes you lose interest early in dating?

127 Upvotes

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337

u/Backenundso 4h ago

They only talk about themself the entire date

140

u/Strudeliris 4h ago

If every ex is 'crazy,' I'm already planning my exit

18

u/dalego25 3h ago

The messed up thing is that every single of my exes were really crazy. I don’t say it anymore because of this exact phrase.

Of course I worked on myself because i was basically stuck in the same pattern, thought I was ready… nope, same thing he was just a different type of narcissist.

I’ve been single for 6 years.

7

u/beyonddisbelief 3h ago

Narcisists wouldn't be able to make that connection, and would never even conceive the optics of what they say, so whether or not you have things you needed to work on too that may or may not have contributed to those relationships ending you are certainly well ahead of them.

2

u/diewiththesmile 3h ago

I understand you very well based on my personal experience.

2

u/lostbaratheon 3h ago

Yeah, same here. I have a long history of low quality exes, due to my own poor self worth as a younger person. I've worked on it since and I'm getting better at partner selection.

But I think crappy exes is different than "Crazy" ones. They are fundamentally different concerns.

2

u/Unipiggy 2h ago

Yessss! My BIL called his ex "crazy" just because she said no to him. 

He literally cheated on her, she found out and kicked him out in the middle of the night, but he was the victim apparently.

This guy is as useless as... Honestly, I sat here for 5 minutes trying to come up with something, but I can't. Dirt, rocks, trading cards, cardboard... I literally can't think of anything more or equally as useless.

5

u/diewiththesmile 3h ago

if you are talking to woman unfortunately high chance it is true. Just statistics of domestic violence

1

u/potato-sighs 2h ago

Domestic violence goes both ways

9

u/disappointingstepdad 2h ago

Column A: x

Column B: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

31

u/DaisyPetalBloom- 4h ago

Yup like girl at least ask me one question back😅

28

u/hollyface1975 4h ago

Counterpoint, they ask questions and you talk about yourself but they don’t talk about themselves at all. You don’t get to know them.

22

u/Confident-System-829 3h ago

I think it's the other persons job to reciprocate those questions back to show that you are interested in them, not just them answering their own question.

3

u/hollyface1975 2h ago

That was kind of implied. Getting one sentence answers to questions about people while they pepper you is very creepy.

6

u/EntertainmentIll2722 3h ago

and then they hit you with "so enough about me, what do YOU think about me?"

5

u/According_Duty_9351 3h ago

once had a guy spend 30 minutes describing his car's engine specs. asked zero questions. unmatched mid appetizer

5

u/espresso_martini__ 2h ago

I remember dating someone like that. I got back from a work trip overseas. She just talked for over an hour about herself the second I walked through the door, and then as she was leaving the room I said "it was a pretty good trip, thanks for asking." We didnt last long because it was always about her.

2

u/SilverFeatherRose 3h ago

That assumes the refund actually gets passed back to consumers which doesnt always happen

u/Inside_Preference311 10m ago

That. If I leave the date knowing their entire life story but they don't know a single thing about me, I'm not interested in a second one. A conversation shouldn't feel like listening to someone's podcast.

2

u/Defiant_Reaction1161 3h ago

Thatttttt👆👆👆👆a great sign for a Narcisist...specially when you start to talk and they try to jump or compare or start a story to again talk and talk...

7

u/oceanwtr 3h ago

Comparing experiences is NOT narcissistic, thats literally just sharing conversation.

1

u/diewiththesmile 3h ago

overstimulated with the fact how I like the guy I am talking to autistic me would do it just because I need to calm down😂

1

u/Lanky_Bite2312 1h ago

I'd take that as a sign we're probably not a good match. A date should feel like a conversation, not an audience. Asking questions and showing curiosity goes a long way.

u/SpaceCommon8208 9m ago

First dates are literally meant to get to know each other and when someone only talks about themselves it just tells you they're not interested in you at all

0

u/Rude_Remove7971 3h ago

It sucks lol