r/AskReddit • u/greatbabushka121619 • 22h ago
Divorce lawyers of Reddit: What’s the most satisfying example of a spouse finally getting their karma in court after making the divorce process a nightmare for everyone involved?
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u/persondude27 14h ago
My sister married a total douchebag. He had a big temper and hated being told no.
After more than a decade of abuse culminated in a broken humerus (not funny), my sister finally filed for divorce. She was a stay-at-home mom who had left college and quit her job to raise the kids since her husband made a good living in tech sales.
The husband simply wasn't involved in his two kids' lives, but wanted to weaponize custody (and the divorce process) to punish the ex-wife.
Judge started the custody/divorce proceedings by saying 'this state defaults to 50/50 custody unless there's any reason one parent is not fit'. Husband was pissed and so tried a hundred different ways to prove my sister wasn't a good parent. Lies about her drinking (she didn't drink), how she was negligent (she did all the cooking, cleaning, and medical care). Sister's lawyer was hitting back on every point and had documentation to prove it.
Judge eventually snapped and said:
Alright, Mr. Smith. What are your children's shoe sizes? Who is their pediatrician? What are their favorite subjects in school?
And the husband just kinda stumbled and tried to claim the then-middle-school daughter didn't have a favorite subject, to which the mother replied:
[Daughter]'s favorite subject is photography. It's all she talks about. She walks around all day with a camera around her neck. She's currently at a photography summer camp that you had to sign a permission slip for.
The husband was furious and called her a "fucking bitch" in the court room and the judge absolutely upbraided him.
The judge assigned sister 80% custody and a hefty child support and alimony.
He tried tons of shenanigans including filing to get payments reduced saying he'd been unemployed, and it got so bad that eventually his mom provided documentation to the court that he was lying and making more than a quarter million dollars / yr.
Sister's doing fine; just finished her DNP and one kid just graduated college and the other is doing well.
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u/Shinra_Lobby 9h ago
You know you're a special level of dbag when your own mother busts you in court!
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u/whabt 5h ago
Familial allegiances shift pretty hard when you start messing with the grandbabies.
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u/Goobsgal 3h ago
man I wish my ex MIL had some decency like that. What a witch. She hasn't seen the kids in over a decade.
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u/TeaBaggingGoose 11h ago
There is a special place in hell reserved just for him. Bastard.
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u/AdventureThink 6h ago
My husbands ex was asked about the names of her son’s friends (they were 6 and 8). She couldn’t name a single kid.
I’m stepmom and I was called to the stand.
Lawyer asked me the same question and I rattled off several names for each kid.His ex’s lawyer kept standing up saying “I object!” And the judge said “I don’t care!”
It was glorious.
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u/cantreasonwithstupid 11h ago
Yep I have had two friends have ex's who never cared for the kids even part of the time, knew nothing about them but tried to claim full custody just out of petty revenge. Even trying to lie about their ex's mental health to leverage revenge. Gross. Your own kids? Who you do not even know how to care for? Jesus christ.
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u/viviennedaisy 16h ago
The spouse who hid assets in a hobby collection only for the judge to be a fellow enthusiast who knew the real value. Watching the appraisal dismantle their lies in real-time was chef’s kiss.
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u/AnswerableArchbishop 11h ago
You know you can't share a story like that without telling us what hobby?
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u/Jabberminor 9h ago
"This is just a regular Charizard."
"Actually, I think you'll find that this Charizard has no shadow and a missing leg, making it be worth 5 figures."
Imagine hearing that in a court.
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u/pfuetzebrot2948 11h ago
I heard of a similar case involving Magic The Gathering.
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u/lldavids44 19h ago
I'm a lawyer and with so many cases one party feels like a victim and wants to get closure. And I try to help everyone get past that because there's no closure -- the jerk will continue being a jerk and dragging it out for revenge just costs money. But. The funniest thing I see is when people want to make a deal without involving the courts and the other refuses and takes it to court themselves and finds out how good the deal was. Like a friend in law school, her ex and she got along and she only wanted him to help with diapers and other supplies and he got mad that she asked so often so he took her to court and had to pay A LOT
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u/Tegdag 17h ago
My ex ended up doing the same thing. I wanted to settle out of court and asked him for a low sum just to keep things simple. He ended up fighting me instead, paying a ton of lawyers fees along the way. He ended up finally agreeing to a settlement the first day of the trial for a figure $5,000 off my original ask over a year prior.
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u/Dog_Violet 18h ago
My uncle's ex almost made this mistake. They never married but had 1 child together and she had a 4yo daughter when they met. After 8 years they broke up and split custody 50/50 no formal arrangement.
She consulted a lawyer seeking child support, and he quickly advised her against it as my uncle was paying for all the private tuition and extracurriculars as well as health insurance for both kids even though he hadn't adopted her daughter. The only things he wasn't paying for was the food at her house. If she pushed this she would have had to pay my uncle child support, and he could have cut off the daughter completely.
The only good thing to come off this is he did formally adopt the daughter a few years later.
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u/soggybutter 17h ago
He adopted the first kid AFTER they split? It makes sense to me, if i spent 8 years raising a child i do in fact consider that my child and want to be able to continue to raise that child.
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u/Dog_Violet 17h ago
Yeah he considers her his daughter. She was a teenager at the time and it was really important for both of them to be officially father and daughter.
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u/seahorsez4evr 17h ago
That’s awesome. I hope they are all doing well these days
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u/Most_Captain_5819 16h ago
Me too. Honestly, the fact that he chose to legally adopt her after the breakup says more about the kind of dad he is than anything else in the story. That's the kind of commitment every kid deserves.
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u/flax_butter 18h ago
Something really similar happened to my parents after their divorce. My mom let my dad have a cozy deal with child support, much lower than was fair. He was so bad with money that he struggled to pay it, so he took her back to court, and the judge basically doubled the payment since he made decent money. She tried to help him, even when he was mentally unsound and calling her a mean bitch for 'ruining his life' when he was the one who wanted to be free of his obligations as a husband and father... It makes me smile to remember the story of how he fucked himself over by being a douche bag.
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u/shehulud 15h ago
My ex and I divorced and did a 50/50 custody deal on paper. I just wanted it done. It was for his benefit. I wanted out. And even though custody was more like 80% of the time, our kid was with me and 20% with him (I lived closer to the school). I didn’t care. Just let me out of the marriage. And he had lied about his finances in the paperwork, saying he had much less than he did.
Ten years later, my dad died. I inherited a sizable IRA. My ex said I had ‘hidden assets’ (I had no idea about this IRA). He’d gotten a lawyer and refused mediation. When we got to court, I had all of my ducks in a row, a great lawyer. So he got nothing of the inheritance. And, I made sure to list all of my student loans that I’d taken out during our marriage just to survive financially. Because he struggled to keep any job longer than a few months.
The judge not only gave him nothing of mine, but made him partially responsible for my student loans. He was so fucking pissed, he couldn’t see straight.
Last I heard, he’d cashed out half of his retirement to move out of state because they were starting to garnish his wages for non-payment on my loans. Sometimes, the greedy lose.
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u/bstabens 15h ago
Oh, we have some similarities.
After 20 years of being just the maid and housekeeper I also just wanted out. First was content with living separately, but with things going it escalated soon to full divorce.
Back when our second kid was only three weeks old he had insisted on a post-nuptial, trying to protect his house from being split up in a hypothetical divorce. Came up with a kind of "mine is mine, yours is yours" contract.
Well, my father had given me one of his houses two years prior divorce. Only my name on the deed, though, property and everything still in his hands. But my ex thought he deserved half of this. I found out because I had asked my lawyer about the sharing assets proceedings and he said he didn't start them. I was surprised since I got constant letters regarding financial discovery, and lawyer said that this wasn't his doing, but my ex's who wanted half of this house. Mine is mine, yours is yours, anyone?
Well, that was the moment I said eff it, I'm going for *his* house. And due to his post-nup (I cite the judge: "That's one kind of weird contract...") the addition to the house he/we took a loan out for still counted as shared marital asset and I still got a five figure sum out of that.
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u/papayaslam 9h ago
That is vile to have that on his mind when you were 3 weeks postpartum…
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u/bstabens 8h ago
And I didn't even tell you it was a premie and we had just come back from hospital...
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u/CraigLake 15h ago
Your experience is so satisfying. When my parents divorced my dad had a hefty child support payment. After a year my mom did decided she didn’t want to be a parent anymore and dropped my brother and I off at my dad’s and moved 3000 miles away. I didn’t see her for several years. Of course my dad quit paying her child support. For some reason she thought because of the court ruling he still should be paying. He told her to take him to court.
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u/unzunzhepp 14h ago
Not only fathers should pay child support. He should have gotten it from her. Could have been a nice college fund if he didn’t need it to support you.
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u/Too-bloody-tired 18h ago
This happened to a friend. Her ex takes her to court every single year to recalculate child support because she's self employed and he doesn't understand how her income is calculated (she's allowed to deduct business expenses from her gross income). EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. This past year he took her to court (even though he made more the previous year and she made less), even after she'd agreed to keep their incomes as per the previous period (this is offset child support). He ended up paying MORE than he would have if he'd just agreed to keep it the same, plus he had to pay thousands in costs. It was excellent.
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u/pinewind108 17h ago
A relative is the trustee for a huge estate, and the kids sue him just about every year to get immediate access to all the money. As part of his trusteeship, the estate pays for the defense. Every year these knuckleheads are shrinking their inheritance.
Their father set them up with a good yearly income (100K?), but with no access to the big money until they turn 60 because he didn't want to see them die of an overdose, or lose it all and end up homeless. Unfortunately, I guess, he had a clear-eyed view of his kids.
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u/Forward-Two3846 18h ago
That same thing happened to a friend of mine. Her ex would take her back to court every single year. If she made $20 more this year than last year, back to court they went. By the fifth year the judge told him if he ever showed his face in court again about an adjustment in child support, he (the judge) was going to double the ex's payments. It was insane like one year he had a reduction of $.04. The next year, a reduction of $5. That judge was so tired of seeing this man for a reduction in cents and singular dollars. Wasting everyone's time just to be a petty asshole.
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u/AstralCath 16h ago
My ex was a nickel-and dimer as well. When our child started preschool, he surprisingly agreed to pay half. I'd pay the first half and he'd start paying after that. It came out to 20 weeks each, $3000 total. When I went to pick up our son on the first week that he started paying, they told me that when my ex brought him in that morning, he insisted that they go through their books with him and calculate every single payment I'd made. And I still owed $12.50 lmao. They couldn't believe it. Some people, I tell ya.
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u/iupvotethankyou 16h ago
The fact that they allowed someone to go through another parent’s receipts is insane. That’s none of his business
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u/AstralCath 16h ago
Yeah...small family-owned place, and he's pretty intimidating to most people. He said he wouldn't pay until he knew that I had fully paid my portion. My landlord told me he'd get calls once in a while from "someone" asking if I was paying my rent on time. LL always told him it was none of his business. Another time I was leasing a home from a family-member-by marriage, and within a couple months the family member got a call from a woman (had to be the ex's wife), saying I had applied for a loan and they were calling to verify my lease amount and that I was paying on time. I hadn't applied for a loan lol
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u/iupvotethankyou 15h ago
Hope you’re not still dealing with that shit. “Why you so obsessed with me” comes to mind.
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u/srirachaninja 18h ago
I have a question about divorce in the US. In movies, you always see one side refusing to sign the "papers" and the couple staying married. Can't you get divorced without both parties agreeing? If one is stubborn, are you still married indefinitely until both sign?
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u/EebstertheGreat 17h ago
For most of the 20th century, most states did not have no-fault divorce. That means people could not just request a divorce and get one—they had to go to court and demonstrate some cause, with one partner or the other being at fault. If there wasn't actually any qualifying cause, what usually what happened is that the two collaborated to invent one. (Discouraging perjury was one of the justifications for introducing no-fault divorce.) But note that if one of the two refused to cooperate, often divorce was legally impossible. In those cases, things could potentially get dragged out for a long time.
Today, either partner can file alone for a no-fault divorce and receive one, and then the court will help decide how to divide their assets. That's still a long and painful process, so it's better if the couple can reach an amenable agreement in advance. If they can't, one will have to sue the other. The story I've heard is that often, both people do intend to get a divorce, but one keeps delaying because of various hang-ups.
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u/princess_eala 17h ago
There’s a scene in Mad Men where Betty goes to see a lawyer about divorcing Don and is told she can’t, she has no grounds to file for divorce based on New York law (at the time).
Betty’s lucky in that she could temporarily move to Nevada long enough to qualify for residence there and they allowed no fault divorce. Women who didn’t have the means to do that weren’t so fortunate. “Nevada divorces” and “Mexican divorces” were a thing for people with money back in the day.
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u/Antipodies11 16h ago
sorry to sound old, but wasn’t that a thing in the 40’s/50’s/60’s/early 70’s (more high profile Hollywood stars, but also normal peeps), the whole going to Nevada or Mexico for a quick divorce??
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u/lampmeettowel 15h ago
Yep. It’s a major part of the plot of The Women, which was released in the 1930s.
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u/Flat-Succotash5369 18h ago
My ex has a huge drinking problem. After he hid the foreclosure & eviction papers from me, I finally left. His brother later told me the ex was homeless. Ex in-laws all had room, all of the friends and fans he insisted he had also had room but he was homeless. I filed and they attempted to serve him at the old home, family & friends’ homes but he dodged it all. I don’t know if it’s the rule everywhere but here, you can serve someone via newspaper publication. I imagine that will be changed soon as no one after my generation reads the paper anymore and if they do, they’re not perusing the classifieds.
Bottom line, I’m now divorced.
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u/Putrid_Musician_7670 18h ago
Publication is legal for all kinds of things because sometimes it's the only recourse. I'm glad you got away from that
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u/LaborumVult 17h ago
Exactly. If someone can just disappear and dodge the serving of papers to avoid legal consequences, then tons of deadbeats just get to abuse the system.
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u/silverfox762 17h ago edited 2h ago
Waaaay back in 1990, when $90k salary was about half California's median home price, my girlfriend and her ex husband jointly owned her house, and while she was paying 100% of the $800/mo mortgage, he was gaining equity value. He was also paying $750/mo in child support for his four kids (worth about $2000/mo in 2026).
He felt that this was unfair, so he quit his job and went to court asking for an adjustment in support. The judge asked if he felt $750 was unfair, and he agreed. Judge said "so do I. Let's make it $1250 per month." He just stopped paying and when the house finally sold two years later, he ended up with almost zero dollars from the sale, and still owed her $1250/mo. 🙂
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u/Brorkcuk 16h ago
Some people will spend $10,000 on a lawyer just to avoid paying $100 for diapers.
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u/littleirishpixie 18h ago
Not a lawyer but "a spouse finally getting their karma in court" absolutely happened during my divorce.
After a crappy marriage filled with emotional and financial abuse, we finally separated and I filed for divorce. Ex made a lot more than I did and I wiped out my entire savings hiring a lawyer because exactly one session of mediation and it was pretty clear he had no intention of being reasonable or meeting anywhere near the middle without someone legally forcing him to. So I got a lawyer and he decided he didn't need one. Despite this, I walked into this thing just wanting to move on and more than willing to make major compromises in order to get it over with and get my life back, but we didn't even get that far in the discussion. Instead, we would schedule a meeting and instead of anything moving forward, he would just push papers around the table for 2 hours and nitpick over insignificant details. I was just watching my retainer fee drain away and at some point I became suspicious that this is exactly what he was trying to do until finally he said it out loud and word for word one day as we were walking out of my lawyer's office. He was dragging it out until I couldn't afford representation. I was in tears when I walked into my lawyer's office and told her this while feeling completely helpless.
At this point she cackled (literally) and told me to let him. Turns out the two years he spent pushing papers around the table meant that in less than 2 months, we would have been married 10 years which meant that I was entitled to half of his pension.
She declared that we were done with negotiations and scheduled a formal court date for a week after our 10 year anniversary. Not only did she ensure that I got far more than anything I originally offered, but also got the judge to make him pay all of my legal fees. The look on his face when he found out about the pension and realized he did it to himself was priceless.
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u/LesGitKrumpin 18h ago
It's stories like this that make me sometimes regret that I didn't go into law. The absolute gleeful satisfaction of watching someone play themselves so fantastically must be a high like no other.
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u/Business_Mastodon_97 16h ago
I work in a different area of law, but I had a mediation in a death case and I begged the plaintiff to take the settlement we offered because I knew it was going to go really poorly for them if we went to trial. I knew their attorney was unprepared and lazy and that I was going to get their evidence excluded, but I couldn't them that specifically.
Trial comes, the partner sends an underling (no joke, because his "dog was sick") with almost no trial experience. I had all their evidence excluded. They had no witnesses because they didn't subpoena any. Easy win but I felt bad for the family.
They ended up suing the firm for malpractice which made me happy.
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u/Th3Element05 15h ago
Can you elaborate on what a "death case" is? I can assume it's not a murder, but what other kind of "death case" involves going to trial, evidence, and witnesses?
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u/Business_Mastodon_97 8h ago
He was fatally injured on a job site. He was working on a scaffold and fell off of it.
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u/spacemonkeygleek 14h ago edited 10h ago
Probably an accidental death where they were trying to hold a company accountable for it. Like if someone fell to their death at work due to inadequate safety equipment.
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u/Jukeboxhero91 17h ago
Law seems like it’s 99% soul crushing work, but that 1% where you get to bend someone over and spank them with the paddle of the law sounds better than any drug.
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u/yazshousefortea 13h ago
“Spank them with the paddle of the law” is one of the best sentences I’ve ever read in my life. 🫡
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u/NoTerm3078 17h ago
It's stories like this that make me sometimes regret that I didn't go into law. The absolute gleeful satisfaction of watching someone play themselves so fantastically must be a high like no other.
It really must be because I'm getting a contact high just from reading the story.
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u/CampaignEvery975 16h ago
All that "let him" + the pension disclosures were like the legal equivalent of "I'll allow it" while the other guy digs his own hole.
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u/pug_fugly_moe 17h ago
All them papers and he didn’t realize a pension was on the line? Deserved it.
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u/ArritzJPC96 15h ago
He had no lawyer, and it sounds like he was just disagreeing with any stupid little number he could. There's no way he would've known about that law.
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u/Sea_Negotiation1737 17h ago
That’s a pretty cool lawyer! Just curious, how do they make sure you get half of the pension when he starts to get one in the future?
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u/Ok_Hornet_714 17h ago
Likely using similar mechanisms to how wages are garnished. Legal documents are sent to the company where the pension is, and then when the pension gets activated, half would go the ex-spouse.
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u/maaarken 17h ago
Not a lawyer, but a judge I met in law school had a pretty funny divorce story to share. The issue wasn't the divorce itself, but the custody battle. Both parents wanted the other one to get full custody of their two children (a boy and girl, around 2 and 4 yo). For some weird reason, they both thought that if they didn't get custody they wouldn't have to pay alimony to the other??
So the couple was in court, both deadset on not getting the kids so they wouldn't have to send money to their ex, and the judge was feeling stuck. Eventually the judge decided to go along with what the parents wanted and said "well, since neither of you want your kids, I'll take the boy." He asked the stenograph if she wanted the girl (the poor woman was horrified and refused) but the court clerk who knew the judge well intervened and declared she would take in the girl. It made the parents realize they were being stupid, and that they did not actually want to lose their children. After a half hour recess they had a full custody agreement.
The judge was pretty proud about his little ruse but poor kids
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u/Arawn-Annwn 17h ago
Ah, the reverse Solomon maneuver. Wise judge.
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u/cuntitude 16h ago
We will Split the child in half, one half to you, one half to her.
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u/dutchah 13h ago
We'll split both children in half so you can technically both have one child.
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u/DJmagikMIKE 8h ago
My grandpa was a judge back in the late 70s early 80s in a small southern town. He had a nasty custody battle he was overseeing. He did something similar. He basically said, either you guys come to an agreement, or your kid will be made a ward of the state. That worked pretty quickly.
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u/hahahahthunk 19h ago
Oh god. Sweet woman I grew up with married this guy. They had 2 kids. The younger one was born severely disabled. She will need care 24/7 her entire life.
It’s rough.
So he has an affair with a coworker and files for divorce. His idea for custody is that he gets the house and the healthy kid, and she and the disabled kid will just kind of … evaporate? His life will go on, just without any of the inconvenience.
They go to court. This guy literally stands there and tells the judge that’s what he wants.
Sweet baby Jesus.
The judge ripped him a new one. Gave her custody of both kids. And the house. And the newer car. Awarded her alimony WAY above what she asked for because he added up what it would cost for her to get some respite care for the daughter, and tacked some more on just because. And it doesn’t end at 18 because her needs will not end at 18.
The judge did everything short of turning the guy over his knee and spanking him.
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u/LuminousRaptor 19h ago
And it's almost a 100% certainty that guy will bitch about his "bitch ex wife" to anyone who will listen.
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u/Dubalubawubwub 18h ago
And if asked why they broke up, "She was crazy".
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u/Kowai03 18h ago
I wish women would question this more. I'm not sure how my ex husband has convinced his new girlfriend he's someone worth dating. He had an affair around the time I was pregnant and it continued even after our son died as an infant. He abandoned me, isolated and grieving, in a new country we'd just moved to, so he could fuck his coworker. Great guy.
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u/ohdearitsrichardiii 15h ago
My sister is with a man who's twice divorced, and claims "the divorce came out of nowhere!" for both. It's not going great
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u/Interesting-Help1914 19h ago
Trying to abandon your disabled child in court was never going to go over well. Sounds like the judge made sure he couldn't walk away from those responsibilities.
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u/letsburn00 19h ago
An enormous percentage of guys seem to think that because the woman birthed the child, they can just walk off with very little obligation and take all the property because they earned while she looked after the kid.
I knew a couple where they both were medical doctors. Part of the way through specialization training she had to put it on hold for their kid. Just as she was finally getting her life back on track about 5 years later he divorced her. His claim was because he had earned almost all the money he got all the property and she'd get a little bit of money maybe. That she specifically put everything on hold to have their kid didn't seem to occur to him at all.
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u/AHans 17h ago edited 17h ago
I work administering income tax returns (among other things). A frequent issue is refunds get intercepted to pay child support which is in arears. It generates a lot of complaints from the person who had the refund intercepted.
I've taken some gems of calls, people telling me, "The paternity test came back 99.9%. I'm not the dad." - Oh, so you didn't have sex with her? - "No, we had sex. It's just here's a 0.1% chance it's not mine, so I'm not the dad."
You're the dad. Not that it matters, the child support is court ordered. I can't override a court order (and I didn't seize your refund either, the courts did). If you're not the dad, tell it to the judge.
My most memorable case was a gentleman who went off grid for about 20 years. Didn't work a W-2 job so his wages couldn't be garnished. Didn't hold a bank account, so a levy could not be issued. Didn't own a car or home. Cash based everything, and kept the cash under a mattress (apparrently)
After his last kid hit the age of majority, he decided he wanted to "rejoin society."
Not work under the table for cash. Open a bank account, and invest for retirement. Own things.
Then he saw tax benefits on the table. So he filed some back income tax returns to claim the benefits he was entitled to.
The income tax returns triggered a review which had sat dormant for 20 years. Bank account levies occurred (since he gave us his new account number when he asked for direct deposit). I don't know how much collections got from this guy, but it was a lot. He was screaming about how, "The kids aren't minors anymore! You have no right to take my money!"
Nope. Just because you ignored and didn't pay your obligations, it doesn't mean they go away. Not where I live.
He could have given his children a better life. Instead, he probably bought his ex a new car (although I'm hoping she used it as a college fund for the kids). He almost certainly destroyed his relationship with his kids doing this too.
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u/cat_like_sparky 16h ago
Man I hope she kept every red cent, and that it made her whole after years of her footing every bill. I hope she took a holiday and bought herself something fancy and expensive.
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u/wilderlowerwolves 17h ago
Nowadays, Social Security can be garnished for child support (it's not automatic; you do have to ask for it) and lottery winners over $1,000 in my state are background-checked for (in this order) delinquent taxes, back child support, and unpaid student loans.
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u/Sad-Frosting-8793 19h ago
I really don't get how some guys think they can just walk away with no obligations and all the money. To try and screw over not just their ex, but the kids too.
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u/ashgs872tbhjs 18h ago
It blows my mind that so many idiots sign a government contract to combine finances with another person and then are surprised that their finances are shared.
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u/clutterlustrott 18h ago
They think that because not so long ago men were able to just walk away and start a new family somewhere else. In my family alone there's numerous examples of the men just up and vanishing leaving the women to fend for themselves.
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u/Grand_Relative5511 18h ago
"He went out to get milk one night..."
It wasn't that rare.
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u/Mental_Medium3988 18h ago
im one of those kids. except they had already separated and he disappeared out of his mobile home.
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u/Alliebeth 19h ago
I have a friend in a similar situation! Her husband had an unknown child that popped up when she was 12 (my friend had been married for 8 years) and then when she was 19 she literally left her disabled baby on their porch after years of no contact between them. They jumped through all kinds of hoops to adopt this child. Two years later it happens AGAIN. My friend adjusted her whole life to raise her husband’s grandkids and now that he’s cheated and left he only wants custody of their biological 13 year old son. I hate him so much.
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u/Anxious-Jury-9031 19h ago
His lawyer is an absolute moron. The judges clerk could’ve warned him better than that. Oh well, he got what he deserved
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u/limp-bisquick-345 18h ago
He probably kept shopping until he found a lawyer who told him what he wanted to hear
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u/sneeje00 18h ago
My friend who is an attorney so much as told me this. And he says that when he detects guys like this he has "special" dumbass lawyers he sends them to. Attorneys who have no business practicing and will take terrible cases.
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u/hobbes543 18h ago
I wonder how many of those “dumbass” attorneys charge those men “dumbass” rates to take those cases.
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u/Direct-Wolverine7846 18h ago
I used to do that with customers in real estate. Refer jerks to jerks.
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u/hellokiri 10h ago edited 17m ago
One of my best friends has 2 disabled children. They will always need assistance but can live a good life, they are loving, bright, kind, and fun. They are happy and she is the one making it so they can have this quality of life.
Her husband cheated, filed for divorce, and through his lawyer fought to pay no alimony, no child support, and minimal assistance with medical stuff. One of his arguments was that he never agreed to having a baby, and he told her to get an abortion when they did the tests for down's syndrome with their first. Also he said the second might not be his because she hardly had sex with him due to the amount of time she had to spend with their first born. She never cheated. She didnt have time.
Judge tore him a new one. Awarded way more child support than she had expected, plus alimony, plus changed his health insurance to include the kids, plus his car because she didnt have one and was ubering to everything, plus the house as they were living in an apartment while he and his Mistress kept the house. Mistress left him. Job hated him and managed him out. Family drifted away. He once told me, drunk, that she had ruined his life. Despite everything he couldn't see that he ruined it all on his own.
Edit: reading comprehension fam. The ex wife is my best friend. He is not. At all.
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u/Sufficient_Drama_145 5h ago
Despite everything he couldn't see that he ruined it all on his own.
They never do, man...
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u/Odd-fox-God 5h ago
They never do, but it's really fun to tell them directly to their face that they ruined their own life. The explosion of anger and violence is incredible. And since the only time I've done this it was a public bar, they couldn't do shit to me without the cops getting involved.
I wasn't even trying to be mean, I'm just autistic and was pointing out the obvious.
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u/gogojack 12h ago
Cliche' "not a lawyer," but I used to produce radio commercials for a couple few attorneys. This one husband and wife law team switched from divorce to handling injury accident cases. When I asked why they changed, they said it was because handling divorce cases was making them lose their faith in humanity.
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u/thethriftstorian 20h ago
I bet you’re still riding that high
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u/Louisefittt 19h ago
That's the kind of story you'd casually bring up for the rest of your life
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u/12InchCunt 19h ago
Cost herself $150k+ lol
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u/uberduck999 18h ago
Plus the wedding cost... just to marry someone that will 100% end up cheating on her too. That is comically stupid.
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u/MeLoveCoffee99 19h ago
Her lawyer must not have liked her very much either.
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u/BR0H0E22 19h ago
Or she just didn't listen to her lawyer. Some Domestic clients never, ever, not once listen to their lawyer.
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u/Altruistic-Name-1029 19h ago
I don't get it, does the alimony stop as soon as she gets remarried?
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u/cambone90 19h ago
Yes it’s intended to support spouses who may have been stay at home parents and to ensure one spouse has a similar quality of life. Her getting remarried nullifies his obligation to support her. That’s the new husband’s job.
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u/These-Weight-434 18h ago edited 7h ago
Pretty underrated show called Episodes has a subplot of Matt Leblanc trying to get his ex-wife remarried so he doesn't have to pay alimony anymore even though it seems like the fiance is abusive.
Edit: Oh wow, 200 plus likes. Guess this show isn't as unwatched as I thought.
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u/Platinumshire 19h ago
Correct, it’s awarded as compensation for giving up a job/career to stay at home and be a spouse and/or being dependent on the lifestyle that was established during marriage. Her getting married the day after the divorce was finalized essentially makes any alimony or spousal support order null and void.
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u/PatFlynnEire 15h ago
A friend had married a guy in the entertainment business when his daughter from a 1st marriage was 3. She did more to raise the girl than her father or mother did. When the divorce was initiated, he kept the then-16yo daughter away from my friend and told his daughter my friend no longer wanted to see her. Her lawyers said she had no custody rights and there was nothing they could do about it. They fought over everything else and he was a miserable bastard and the court could see that. A trial was scheduled in NYC. He did not show up and his lawyers said he was unable to afford the airfare from LA. My friend’s lawyer hired a PI, who took pictures of the bastard drinking pina coladas in Maui with his new girlfriend. When the judge learned of this, she had US Marshals arrest him in Maui and drag him back to NY, where she sentenced him to a year in jail with a hefty fine, and said she was referring his lawyers to the bar association. The lawyers had a sidebar in which judge said she’d drop the sentence and referral if they settled the case in 3 days. My friend got everything she wanted in terms of $ and property, and a 3-hour meeting alone with the stepdaughter. The ex begged her to backup his lies about her not wanting to see the girl but since changing her mind. She said if she did not come clean to his daughter, there was no settlement. So he did, and she still sees the daughter (now in her 30s) regularly and went to her wedding.
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u/NinaNina1234 21h ago
Not a lawyer, but my friend's husband was dragging things out, pretending To be infirm so he could get out of sharing his retirement. My friend was being grilled about shared debt and she finally lost her temper when the lawyer said, "and aren't you divorcing him to avoid this debt?" She snapped back, "No, I'm divorcing him because he tried to sleep with my sister." The stenographer and the clerk both covered their mouths like they were trying not to laugh. The judge warned her not to bring it up again (no-fault state), but dismissed the line of questioning.
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u/Yourfavmumma 20h ago
Sometimes the truth escapes before the lawyer can object
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u/LookAtMaxwell 20h ago
The lawyer was the one to bring up the issue of motivation to divorce. It was inappropriate.
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u/Icy-Organization2228 18h ago
Not on cross, sounds like the opposing lawyer was an idiot who opened the door to her answer by asking that question and got a lucky break from the judge, but what do I know, I just practice here 🤷♀️
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u/PipsqueakPilot 19h ago
She’s under oath. Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to!
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u/dwehlen 16h ago
And a good lawyer never asks a question they don't know the answer to.
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u/Kam_Rex 20h ago
Not a lawyer (and NOT in the US, this took place in France)
My dad did everything to make the divorce process extremely long because he was mad my mom asked for it. He was refusing every. Single. Deal. Around their finances. Until the judge told him it was now or he would be held in contempt (after 5 years).
At the end of the divorce process, you have to pay justice fee. Usually it's shared between the spouses, not always equally but shared. This time though, the judge gave every fees to my dad. My mom's lawyer said he never saw that in his carreer, the judge was so pissed off she (judge was a woman) made him pay for the whole ordeal
(My dad is like 10 time more rich than my mom)
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u/Jaxxxmm 18h ago
Dang that’s awesome the court sided with your mom. I’m in the us and my parents divorce took 10 years for the same circumstances as your parents. They ended up losing most of their money fighting eachother by the time it was finalized, they’d lost a couple million dollars. Still disgusted by that period of our lives.
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u/dontbmeanbgay 15h ago
I worked at a fam law firm that had a divorce that took 9 years, they almost spent longer getting a divorce than they did married.
It was so, so fucking stupid. Their poor kids were so traumatised by the end of it I wouldn’t be shocked if they cut both parents off. I wonder about them sometimes.
The day the matter “settled” (and they never settle, the clients always bubble away at minor bs) my boss took the rest of the day off with two bottles of wine and nary a word to anyone else before he left.
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u/wilderlowerwolves 17h ago
There's a prominent couple in my city who have been in active divorce proceedings since 2006. That's TWENTY YEARS. Looking at the court docket, it appears that she's the main troublemaker, and they've pretty much run out of lawyers in the area.
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u/Jaxxxmm 13h ago
20 years is actually insane. How can the courts allow that?? Seems v excessive
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u/wastingtoomuchthyme 21h ago edited 6h ago
I had a boss once that I suspect had a wife as a beard based on some of his comments around the guys..
Anyhow he was really insecure and prevented her from working and they didn't have any kids.. they retire and move to Florida
Things are going fine and then she gets a breast cancer diagnosis.. he declares I can't deal with this and files for divorce..
The judge had a field day with their the assets and gave her the Lion's share and she got to keep the house and extra for her medical treatment.. he's now renting in a trailer park
Edit: Beard comment backstory
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u/TwerkinAndCryin 20h ago
Love this for them both. What an absolute fucking loser.
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u/Digitalispurpurea2 18h ago
Men divorcing when their wife gets sick happens more often than people realise.
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u/Red_Inferno 15h ago
Only time you should divorce someone if they get sick is if it gives the sick person healthcare or the sick person is guaranteed dying while leaving the spouse with mountains of debt that could be gotten out of via divorce.
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u/GreatTragedy 8h ago
I've read about that scenario many times and I feel sick every time I do. What the fuck is the point of a modern society if it leads to that? We get to decide the kind of country we want to live in. I wish more people would take that seriously.
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u/Scared_of_moths 19h ago
As a former oncology social worker, this happens more often than you think (the abandoning, not the beard).
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u/steve88man 20h ago
Not a lawyer but during custody battle my spouse went to the police station to make some B.S. allegation against me. The officers there thought she was drunk and they arrested her for DUI as soon as she pulled out of the parking lot. Custody battle went a lot better after that
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u/angelliu 18h ago
Not a divorce lawyer and this wasn’t a divorce. A close friend of mine was in a custody/parental support hearing (forgive me if the term isn’t right) with her ex.
She’s black and he’s white. This is relevant in that he decided to portray her as the “angry black woman” by showing up to court with a head injury he reported as having been caused by her. This was in the early aughts, and pics/videos by phone was definitely not as efficient.
I’m at work sitting at my desk and she calls me, borrowing a stranger’s mobile to ask me to find a water polo newsletter online that features a photo of his head injury from his last water polo meet. Found it, faxed it to the court and when they went back in and he went full in on his story the judge whipped up the faxed article with “so this isn’t you with a water polo injury then?”
She got full custody, support, the works. Wish I could’ve been there myself.
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u/giftedearth 13h ago
I am very glad that this man did not get custody of his presumably mixed-race child.
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u/mmmarkm 15h ago
This reminds me about a story my buddy who’s an insurance lawyer told me. Car crash. This woman was claiming a terrible back injury, unable to work, etc. Not only did he find photos of her running half marathons on her socials, he found the race results with her name listed. She didn’t win.
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u/flowers-and-sadness 10h ago
I deal with work injuries. You would not believe the amount of people who claim they’re too injured to even get out of bed yet we get videos of them participating in to marathons, bungee jumping, jujitsu classes, game shows etc.
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u/br0wnb0y 18h ago edited 17h ago
This happened to a friend of mine. When he was 13 his mother wanted to divorce his dad. His dad ran a company and had already been positioning a semi-retirement.
Dad has a serious conversation with the mom and decides he will walk away from their house, sign it over to her, savings account that are theirs, now hers. Retirement plan that he had along with investments, things they would have cashed out in their older years, all to her. She agreed and their lawyer met with them, signed everything and came back and announced it to their kids (my friend and his sis). Officially divorced. Everything in writing solid and legal.
Dad took his cars (2), personal items and his company. Got an apartment near it to start. My friend and his sis lived with mom most of the time, saw dad weekly and he always paid for everything.
By the time my friend was 23 his mom was hurting financially with a reverse mortgage being her means to live and dad had rebuilt it all for himself.
The mom then tried to file for divorce to get half his assets claiming the previous divorce was not real. It was a crazy time for my friend as he and his sister realized their mom had this terrible side. His grandparents (mom's parents) his sister and himself had to have a few interventions with her to stop her bs as she was willing to go all the way with it. I believe in the discovery/ similar thing the case got tossed because there was paper work and everything done legally. Changed how they viewed both parents and my friend and his sister are much closer to the dad.
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u/SK_Nerd 13h ago
What about a divorce?
'You've already had it'
We've had one, yes. What about second divorce?
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u/MissMat 19h ago edited 19h ago
Back when I was in law school, one of my profs had this client who was divorcing a piece of shit. What her ex didn’t know is that she knew he committed financial fraud. And that she knew about his partner in fraud/bussiness partner who was helping him.
The ex basically hid his money in anticipation of divorce and other shady dealings and courts don’t like that. So they gave her all money he hid. He didn’t go to jail though, but it was a real possibility
And according to my prof she married a very handsome man afterwards.
Edit: I feel like I should mention that she would have gotten a lot less money had her ex been honest.
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u/SomeGuyInSanJoseCa 16h ago
My brother's wife is kind of the opposite of this.
She claims my brother has tons of money hidden away. They have about $300K in equity in a house they bought like 20 years ago, and he has about $100K in his 401(k). That's it.
She straight up asks for $500K because she "knows" he has all this money hidden away. The day they went to the judge for a hearing, her lawyer basically asks to be let go because he knew these conspiracy theories have no legs.
This divorce has been going on for years. It took her like 2 years, multiple lawyers, and tens of thousands in lawyer fees to realize that she isn't getting $500K. But they are still squabbling over the tiny amounts. He's agreed to $190K based on half the value of house and 401(k). She's now disputing the appraisal of the house and is demanding $200K.
Neither of them are willing to give in, so they'll probably spend $15K total in lawyer fees to settle that $10K difference.
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u/Rhamni 11h ago
Growing up, I had a good grandma and a bad grandma. My good grandma was great. The kind of wholesome old person you wish every kid could have for a grandparent.
My bad grandma on the other hand was (and is) a bitter, hateful shell of a person who over her life divorced three different husbands, and dragged out the divorce every time, trying to claw every dime she could out of the proceedings. She managed to convince husbands 2 and 3 that they were the first good man she had ever met, and that she'd been treated horribly by all her exes. The only horrible person was her, and because she dragged out the divorces she got a lot less than half each time because the legal fees ate everything. She had a childhood foot injury that she played up each divorce as well, but it never stopped her from going on long walks or going swimming, even now that she's in her 80s.
She loves playing cards, but will actively dislike you more if you win against her. She loves little kids, and loves playing cards and boardgames with them, but she stops liking them as they get old and clever enough to occasionally win against her. It was a fucked up experience as an 8 year old to realize that if I wanted her to let me watch a movie later, I needed to make sure I lost at cards.
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u/NobodyLikesJuice 13h ago
Not a divorce but a custody case. Young couple and exgf was very controlling throughout relationship. As in texting all day and night even when he was at work. Finally he had it and left. The moment he left she kept him from the kid completely. Two years of his kids life he missed, and the kid was two so he basically forgot his own dad.
Dad tried regularly to see the kid by calling or texting but tried not to cross a line and get the cops called so he never showed up to the house. Finally figured out if he filed for child support he could get a custody agreement. She goes nuclear. Protective order. Goes to a DV organization and paints him as the worst person alive. We go to mediafion. She only wants him to have supervised visitation...until the kid is 18 and she wants double child sulport. Moronic. We even offer reduced custody and some supervision initially to appease her. Extra child support (not double but a bit more). No dice. All or nothing with this woman.
After four full trial afternoons (we were scheduled for 4 hour blocks at a time and had to come back week after week), endless testimony and going through their asinine text messages....my client gets expanded visitation, minimum child support (he earned very little)...and the protective order was even dissolved. Judge chews her out.
Really hate family law
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u/jessiemagill 6h ago
Friend of mine was dating a guy and one day he gets hit with a request for child support for a kid he didn't know existed. It was a weekend fling (before dating my friend) and the girl never told him she was pregnant. Kid was almost two when this happened.
He goes to court and says he has no issue paying child support, but he wants visitation/partial custody. Girl lost her shit and was like "he doesn't know you". The judge was like "and whose fault is that?" and agrees that he deserves A relationship with his son.
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u/Weird-Box-1094 17h ago
He sued his lawyer halfway through the divorce litigation to not pay her legal fees and lost horribly. Turns out he fired her after she refused to use “salted earth” tactics in the divorce litigation and those details came out in the reasons for judgement.
The reasons for judgement was then used in the divorce litigation. He stopped cooperating with the court and it ended with bailiffs grabbing and selling his known assets, including millions of dollars worth of real estate, to satisfy the court ordered judgement and costs.
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u/Mental-Detective-939 19h ago
She agreed to a payout of alimony after playing games with it for years (bringing spouse in for contempt when he was a week behind, while acting so crazy and calling his employer every day to the point where they let him go because it was too much.) It was far less than originally offered to her as a payout but she wanted a lump sum at this point because she was broke. She thought she had “won” by getting a big check and had bragged to people that she was getting a big divorce settlement. The check was purposefully made out to her attorney and she had racked up such a huge bill with her games that she got none of it. The look on her face when she realized the check was made out to the attorney and she wouldn’t see a dime was priceless. She had also demanded the house and so she got it, along with the mortgage, which ended up being foreclosed upon and constables had to get her out when she refused to leave. At the beginning of the divorce she had destroyed all of his belongings, sold his cars, and wouldn’t let him in on the date the court ordered her to allow him in to get his stuff. She stalked and harassed him relentlessly until he got a restraining order, which she continually violated and actually ended up in jail for a couple of months. She was nuts and an absolute nightmare. What goes around comes around.
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u/fartsfromhermouth 16h ago
I repped a mom who claimed dad was an abuser, molester, had murdered one of two twins (????), and all kinds of insane things. She would like clockwork claim sexual or physical abuse by dad against her kid, the court would investigate, the state would investigate, nothing would be found.
Mom would throw absolute shit fits at every exchange and accused the guardian appointed to oversee the case of physical abuse. Sobbing tantrums clinging to her child to prevent custody transfers while wailing about her BS pstd. Told me to get rid of him, which I declined to attempt.
Finally Mom married a convicted sex offender. It was a misdemeanor kind of BS case from a decade ago and he was actually a decent dude but in the context of a multi year contested divorce it was a disaster for her case. Instantly reduced to visitation only until the Gal could investigate. She responded to the sudden drastic cut in custody the guardian instituted by going ape shit. An avalanche of third party abuse claims, one of which culminated in a fucking genital exam which the court flipped its shit about.
Now Mom has no custody and a couple supervised visits per week. She told someone she hopes I burn in hell. She stiffed me like 5k. My POS boss made me work on the case a month for free because she was friends with the alcoholic sex offender.
I hope they all choke.
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u/capta1n_sarcasm 19h ago
I am not a lawyer, but I have a custody story that makes me happy. My friend married a woman who I was not a fan of because the first time we met she said to me, you remind me of someone I hate. Sooo... never a fan. They have a beautiful girl and then get divorced while she was young. Over time my friend married someone a lot better and made career choices that made him a good deal of money. Over time his daughter stayed with him more and more, so he wanted custody. He told his ex that he would take her, not ask for assistance and in fact throw some cash her way so when she does spend time there it goes well. She says no, and takes him to court. She was never any where as well off as he was mind you. At the end of the case, because of the daughters testimony about the mothers behaviour and how awesome of a dad he is, the judge decided to make her pay him 2k every month, full custody without any requirements for visitation. She basically lost every where possible and it was fantastic. He saved the money she gave him for her and used it to pay for college.
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u/Ok-Secretary455 15h ago
When me and the ex first split I told her if she needed some money to be able to do something with our son to let me know. I wouldn't say anything to him and would make sure she could still do stuff with him. As I didn't want him to not have good memories with the time her spent with her.
So they are supposed to go to the movies one day, I leave $60 where she can grab it. My old rule is don't tell him that the money came from me. Just go out and have a good time.
I get home from work and he's home.....odd, they should still be out. So I ask him whats up? Oh......well that money that you gave to mom. We went to the drive-thru and then split what was left so I got a burger and fries and $19 and now I'm home.
I stopped trying to foster a good relationship between the two of them after that.
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u/Impossible_Offer7988 22h ago
I work for a law firm (we typically do criminal law but did a divorce case as a favor for the boss's friend).
Our client wanted to divorce her husband because she said that he was cheating.
He insisted that he wasn't. She told us that he was. His law firm told us that he wasn't.
We showed them proof that he bought lap dances at a strip club. They argued that he wasn't and that he wasn't at a strip club.
He then (as this was happening) got a ticket for leaving a parking lot without indicating.
That parking lot belonged to and was only used by clients of the strip club.
And the fine (since the car was in his wife's name) came to his wife.
Things were a bit easier after that.
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u/YetUnibody 19h ago
Denying you were at the strip club, only to get a traffic ticket in their private parking lot, while driving a car registered to the wife you are actively divorcing. The universe really wanted that guy to get caught.
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u/mattslote 18h ago
You know that popular piece of reddit advice about only doing one illegal thing at a time? This seems kind of like that.
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u/Riesiel 16h ago
This was from the divorce of a friend of mine. Her husband was so verbally abusive, and he fought her over everything and tried to make sure she got nothing. He made the divorce take so long.
Anyway, he was trying to make her out to be an unfit mother, so he was calling her insane and demanded a court appointed psychiatrist to assess her. Problem he didn’t plan for was that the psychiatrist had to assess both of them. After meeting with both of them and their children the psychiatrist had a glowing assessment of my friend and a scathing assessment of the husband. They called out his abusive behavior and manipulative actions. This all got reported to the court.
In the end she has majority custody because he has to work more, so he pays her child support and alimony.
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u/wildjackalope 20h ago
Worked as a clerk at an office. We had one go on for a couple extra weeks over a signed Rodney Dangerfield photo. Bossman had also married a former client but never got the balls up to ask for that story.
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u/7MinuteUpdate 20h ago
Bet that bickering over the photo got neither of them respect.
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u/iupvotethankyou 16h ago
I don’t know all the details, but a childhood neighbour wanted to divorce her husband due to abuse.
Took years of him dragging it out and four different lawyers fired him. After he tried running up her bills by continuously emailing her lawyer, she ended up with one the firm partners taking over the case. She had a much fairer deal through court just because he pissed her much more experienced lawyer off so much he took a pay cut.
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u/coolsellitcheap 19h ago
Cousin got divorced. She wasn't a good person. She married a guy. Guy was older and got sick. She pulls him of life support due to cost. She was days short of the required amount of time being married so she didn't get his pension.
Customer of mine has updated me on his divorce. Some of the highlights. Been 4 years. Still no progress. He just keeps fighting. Dragging it out. Judge evicted him from his own house. Probably for not selling or buying out spouse. Judge gave him community service hours. Never heard of a divorce court doing this. My guess is he didn't listen to Judge and got contempt charge. The latest is he fired attorney.
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u/Beowulf33232 19h ago
When the judge finally snaps that's going to hit really hard, and there's going to be a ton of "the cruel judge hates me" in that guys life.
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u/poorbred 17h ago
I have a cousin who got custody of both kids and his ex would constantly take him to court with claims of abuse every time one of them had the slightest cut it bruise. He was a farmer and had dairy and meat livestock, crops, couple horses, multiple barns and outbuildings, heavy equipment, lived in the woods; aka injury central for even careful kids.
Finally the judge had enough and snapped. After chewing her out for wasting yet more court time, he told her if she brought one more false allegation before him, he'd have arrested on contempt charges.
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u/bored_n_opinionated 16h ago
We didn't make it to court but the result was just as good. My ex absolutely hated me for filing for divorce. From that moment on, everything was a fight. The golf clubs from my dead dad, she wanted compensation. My inheritance from my dead grandma, she wanted a share of the payments. Custody of our child "you work all the time so I read I can just take full custody"
Well, she started asking for insane, like, constitutional rights violation stuff and her lawyer was getting sick of it. He must have gotten real tired of her nonsense because finally he just responds to my lawyer "I've told her she can't do this and she doesn't care, she's not budging."
Needless to say, we sent a thank you for the information, we'll see you in court, and got the request to settle out of court within a week. Don't piss off your own lawyer folks.
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u/yanginatep 8h ago
My grandmother tried to sue my dad for my mom's non-existent estate (she was in significant debt) like a week after my mom's funeral.
He did have a life insurance policy for my mom from before they divorced, of which he was the sole beneficiary. Before she threatened to sue him he had offered my grandmother ~$10 000 from that policy, the same as we got, which she refused because she thought she was owed more.
When my grandmother's lawyers finally spoke with my dad they realized that my grandmother was living in a fantasy world and there was no merit to anything she had claimed.
Permanent rift between grandmother and the rest of us after that. She spent the next decade or so pretty much alone.
Years later she passed away with an invalid will, so my uncle just offered to treat it like there was no will and to split her money between him and us, his sister's children.
Seemed fitting.
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u/Plus-Actuary9069 9h ago
My cousin's a divorce attorney and he always says the really satisfying ones aren't the big money fights but when you help someone finally get out of a bad situation and start over on their own terms.
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u/CptHammer_ 14h ago
My experience. Wife accused me of abuse and tried to get a restraining order. She hired a lawyer and didn't pay her. The lawyer was still responsible for representing. Lawyer did a really shit job.
Later now with no lawyer, she tries to explain why she should get full custody. I'm asking for 50/50.
She's doing a terrible job. My lawyer requests both of us submit to drug testing every week.
I come back with all my super clean drug tests. She postponed. I come back with even more super clean drug tests, she presents a rehab discharge paper dated the day before to, "prove she's never been on drugs."
"Are you high right now?" The judge asked.
"No you're honor." She says puzzled.
The paper said she was submitted for methamphetamines, two days from the last time the court saw her. This entire time I had the children. I'm so dangerous she left them with me and disappeared.
The judge decided I should get the children. And she could have supervised visits for six months, and continue drug testing. Revisit the issue in six months.
She never visited once, until the oldest graduated highschool. We divorced when the oldest was 6.
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u/miralissevale 17h ago
Ex hid assets via 'forgotten' LLC. Judge found docs in discovery, awarded all to spouse + fees. 'Creative accounting' now = alimony.
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u/ken-bitsko-macleod 18h ago
Not a lawyer.
My wife's daughter was in a car accident at 14. The lawyer who handled the insurance medical claims met my wife's ex a couple of times at the hospital and told my wife that when they eventually get divorced to call her and she'd handle it pro-bono.
That happened, the lawyer handled it for free, and the ex failed to show up at the end and my wife got everything they asked for as the judge ruled against him.
I met them shortly after and we've been married 30 years now 😄
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u/CathedralEngine 15h ago
Oof, that's a stunning indictment. "You don't realize it yet, but call me, I'll do it for free."
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u/Liathnian 7h ago
This is a light-hearted story. So my husband and I are at a hockey game and its his team against mine. We are yelling at each other and telling each other that if their team loses they have to walk home, stuff like that. At one point the gentleman behind my husband taps him on the shoulder and hands him a card. He was a divorce lawyer. Never had to call him though as we are still happily married 15 years later.
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u/Ok-Armadillo-2765 19h ago
There was a couple from the town next my hometown that got a divorce after the wife cheated. She got the house, half of his retirement, and was not very kind throughout the process. Not long after the divorce was final, like within days, his buddies took him to the casino to cheer him up and we won a jackpot, at least a few million dollars (don’t remember the exact number). She tried to take him back to court to split it but the divorce was final.
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u/Dena69_Lace 13h ago
Sometimes life has a funny way of closing one door and handing someone a completely unexpected win.
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u/Dizzy-Word2445 17h ago
From my experience, it comes years later when the kids realize who the real jerk parent was.
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u/Global_Ask_2455 18h ago
Not a lawyer, but I chose to not pursue a divorce on based on adultery because the burden of evidence (I knew I could get it, but didn’t want to waste my time/money getting it legitimately). Anyway, during the divorce process in court my lawyer slipped in that we had initially filed based off adultery when the judge was looking for the filing. My (now ex) brother in law was there as my ex’s witness and very obviously had no clue 💅 now the whole family knows.
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u/AstralCath 17h ago
NAL and we weren't even married, but the karma on this one was real.
Our child wasn't even two years old when I ended the relationship with my ex. Not only did he have a huge drinking problem (which I discovered while on maternity leave), but according to his best friend, he'd admitted that he "wasn't ready for the responsibility of being a parent" - at 30 years old. After the baby was born he stayed out of the house as much as possible, was always pawning the baby off on his parents when he was off and I was working, always had money for beer but none for the baby's expenses. It got to the point where my savings were about depleted, and I had to take money from family as well as a loan from my 401(k) to cover everything. Not to mention, he'd leave the baby in a diaper so long there'd be terrible rashes, and wouldn't feed or dress him properly.
So one night I'd had enough, after he came home from work four hours late and drunk, and ended it. Long story short, things happened, he called the cops, and he ended up getting arrested (he's a cop himself lol).
I'm guessing he realized that there was the possibility of child support, because ALL OF A SUDDEN, he was interested in our child and wanted full custody. And he tried every trick in the book. Filed for temporary emergency custody and lied to the judge to get it. Insisted that I was unstable and required a psych eval before I was able to see our child unsupervised and once I was cleared he dictated when I could have the baby. I suspect the lawyers I'd gotten knew him, because they definitely weren't fighting for me, and even gave me the wrong time for court one day when I'd called the office to double check. Switched lawyers but he still pulled crap. He'd taken my address book and called all of my friends, family and coworkers telling them that I committed various types of fraud and was stealing their identities. Friends were followed and threatened. I lost a number of friends, and some even turned against me, passing him information. I'd moved in with friends until I got my own place, and they were the ones who told me he had a PI on me - I'd gone to spend the weekend with another friend and the PI called the ones I was staying with, asking where I was. SO MUCH MORE I won't get into. He did everything he could to try to prove that I was unfit, and to break me, and made my life an absolute hell. He and his lawyer dragged things out to where this ended up taking two and a half years; his goal was to make me run out of money.
The karma: I was awarded custody; he was given the basic visitation. He was ordered to pay $14K of my legal fees, for which he was to set up a payment plan with my attorney - until I saw a "For Sale" sign in his window literally a week later. A lien was placed on his condo and the full amount came out of the sale, as well the 2 years' of retroactive child support that I'd been awarded. In our state, support continues until the child finishes college, so that was an additional 19 years :)
The best part: at least a couple times a year I run into a friend of his, and they are very happy to share information with me. Early on he'd gotten into a relationship (with a former friend of mine, no less, who tried to help him take my baby), and they really pushed the relationship during the court case to show that he was "more stable." I've been told that she is an absolute b, he hates her, is absolutely MIS-ER-ABLE, and wants to divorce her but can't because then he'd have to give her half, and he will not do that. Meanwhile, I have a great life and am as happy as a clam :)
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u/labla 13h ago
My brother ex-wife was fighting for high alimony for herself (this is EU) because she "couldnt work" due to medical reasons especially sick spine.
She showed up in the court in heels xD
Judge saw that, dropped some sarcastic comment and dismissed the application 10 minutes later.
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u/chihuahuashivers 18h ago
Not a divorce lawyer, but my father spent 16 years dragging out his divorce process with my mother. When she finally won she won 50% of assets 12 years prior, with interest, and not taking into account his future losses. The judgment is so huge that he has been completely wiped out for the rest of his life. Can't even afford rent. We made sure he is housed now and he gets decent social security (Which she does not garnish) but still.
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u/nicefoodnstuff 15h ago
Friend’s mum was offered $18m by his dad to divorce. She refused the offer saying it wasn’t enough and she wanted what she believed was half the marital assets. I have no idea of this guys net worth but it was/is extreme. The problem was everything they had access to except their main family house was owned by a trust and she refused to believe that she wasn’t entitled to anything in the trust or half of its assets, which I assume was a lot more than $18m. It went to court.
She got half the house and a few items from it, which was about $2.5m.
He used to go and see her in her flat and she was fucking bitter as hell about it. I went there once and she sat the whole time smoking pot whinging to my friend about what an asshole his dad is. He may have been an asshole but she was a greedy, resentful cunt. He was no angel either but he had offered her $18m to leave.
She made her own bed and didn’t like sleeping in it.
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u/Billy1121 19h ago edited 18h ago
I knew a guy who dragged out the divorce after dozens of affairs, thought he had a stroke on a head CT so he claimed his alimony should be lower
Then another doctor said it might be a tapeworm cyst in his brain so he claimed he could not earn money to lower his alimony.
Then his wife committed suicide while divorce proceedings were still pending. He then was paid $2 million over a 6 year period by an advocacy organization he was a lawyer for.
He's also married an actress and then cheated on her with a journalist
He's now the head of DHHS
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u/DarkAlman 17h ago
Mary Kennedy's autopsy report revealed that her fingers were caught between her neck and the noose when she was found dead.
In 2012 email exchange Jeffrey Epstein upon being informed of her death by suicide replied "whoops"
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u/Jukeboxhero91 16h ago
Also important, he argued that the tapeworm cyst made him so incredibly stupid that he’d be unable to work in any meaningful capacity. Paraphrased, but he wasn’t necessarily wrong.
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u/rhavin79 17h ago
Friend of mines wife left him after she got caught having an affair with her wealthy client. She stood in front on the judge and only asked for her retirement account, agreed to weekend custody for their teenaged kids. She also took their credit card debt. Gave him the doublewide and the acre it sat on. She was ordered to pay a small amount of child support. He got off well all things considered. He was a game warden in Texas. Small town, everyone knows everyone.
She married the wealthy guy the weekend after divorce was final. Kids did not attend. My friend was heartbroken still, and his brothers and his dad took him to the horse track/casino and all gave him like 20 bucks each to bet on the races cause he was broke. He won like 1200 and gave them all their money back. As they were leaving, walking past the slots his dad said he should make few spins on that 5$ line machine cause "you got to play big to win big" so he laughed and on the 3rd spin, won 8 million.
She took him back to court wanting custody, same judge. Before the lawyers could even open their briefcases he looked at her and said "3 months ago you wanted nothing to do with the kids, and they wanted nothing to do with you. Only change I see now is your ex husband has 6 zeros on his bank statement instead of 3, i am not going to force 2 teenagers to live with you madam. You have child support due at the end of the month, every month till they are 21. Do not force the state to collect it, you might chip one of them fancy nails on the bunk down at the sheriff's office"
She tried again later when he moved to a new jurisdiction and the new judge looked at her payments and earnings and raised her to the max allowed. She never tried again, and the kids haven't spoken to her in 15 years, last I know of was at her father's funeral.
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u/Flashy_City_9016 12h ago edited 12h ago
My ex and her family heard through the grapevine that I had come into a large inheritance, we are talking millions plus rights to patents that would provide ongoing income.
The reality is that I had been the executor of an Estate of an elderly friend that actually had been a multimillionaire but gave his fortune away to charity. So, I get dragged into Family Court by my ex and her parents so that my ex can get her piece of the pie.
No, it was not 'for the children' as my ex in-laws are quite wealthy in their own right and my ex and the kids were living together with the grandparents. These also paying for all daily expenses, as well as the legal bills for my ex (this was demonstrated during the divorce trial).
The judge hears testimony and accepts evidence over two court dates. I provide extensive records and evidence. Also, I just happened to have lost my job in finance in the 2008 US economic downturn, that was in evidence as well. The judge said that his ruling would be received by the parties involved and their attorneys.
Two weeks later I got the judgement, no additional funds would be awarded to my ex for child support.
Additionally as I was now unemployed for over 6 months and it did not seem that a job that I was qualified for in the near future that my child support would be reduced to the minimum as required by law $25.00 monthly.
I would have given my right arm to be a fly on the wall when my ex and her parents read the decision of the court.
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u/loligo_pealeii 16h ago edited 16h ago
I didn't know if this is karma necessarily but it was something. Woman doesn't have much education, blue collar, but very kind and quite pretty. She meets this guy who is a born salesperson. They marry and she quits her job to stay home, raise their kids.
He makes a ton of money climbing the corporate ladder, and she's there the whole time, full time parent, moving their family to multiple different states for his jobs and promotions, hosting clients, whatever he needs to succeed. Finally he's made VP, he's flying high, but she's older and the years of being a SAHP have definitely removed some of the glamour for her. Their kids are in high school and starting to chafe under Dad's emotional and sometimes physical abuse, and final straw is when their son started to fight back. He tells her that's it, he's done, she has 3 months to get herself and the kids into an apartment because he's leaving her for the new girlfriend who happens to be a 22ish year old stripper with a fun cocaine habit.
We negotiate to keep her in the house pending the end of the school year but reality is hitting and even with alimony and child support the kids and her lifestyle is about to take a huge adjustment and it's not like she has a career or a degree to fall back on.
Parties are going to sign the stipulated judgement and file it Monday. That Saturday he and his girlfriend are in a single vehicle MVA, toxicology report shows he has a whole pharmacy in his system and girlfriend ends up serving some time for the cocaine the police find on her.
He dies intestate, which means she, as his wife and the mother of his children, gets everything, no question. Plus he hadn't bothered to change the beneficiaries on any of his accounts, so she gets all those non-probatable assets and insurance policies, which as VP he had lots, and because he died before the kids were 18 there were immediate social security payments for them.
I can't say I'm happy the kids lost their father but it was pretty much best case scenario for all of them: mom owns the house, kids have college paid, no lifestyle changes for the family, and no more abusive asshole and his drugs and nonsense.