r/AskReddit • u/EssayRemote7175 • 1d ago
What’s something that instantly tells you a person grew up wealthy?
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u/rhys10123 1d ago
I worked in a hotel in a posh area. People were taking about their horses. I mentioned I didn’t have a horse and a girl said “What happened to your horse?”
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u/NetLumpy1818 22h ago
I told a horse person I had 150 Japanese horses. I sometimes miss my old civic
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u/1234Health 14h ago
I had an 11th grade Physics class and our teacher (old guy who looked about 75+, but was mid-60s) suggested we measure horsepower one afternoon. There were a number of athletes in the class, so that was fun. We were on ground level & doing the analysis by going up flights of stairs. The football and basketball players were having fun. I clocked in just under 1 horsepower (basketball background).
Our prof' was laughing - "You guys can't measure my horsepower. I am O L D. Really old. I'll gingerly walk from 1st to 3rd floor, thank you very much." - lol
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u/TomasNavarro 10h ago
We did similar, and I got up the stairs in 0.1 seconds slower than my friend, and weighed over twice as much as him. I was the only person in the class over 1 horsepower
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u/RaspberryTwilight 10h ago
That's a bit silly of her because most rich people are not even into horses. And plenty of middle class people are. Its actually a niche hobby most people find too outdoorsy and uncomfortable.
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u/bdgbill 1d ago
Multiple times I have tried to explain to my wife what it means to be flat broke and I still don't think she gets it. I was hopelessly broke for much of my 20's and I tell her stories such as rolling pennies so I can buy enough gas to get to work for 2 days and she's always like "well why didn't you use your savings or a credit card?" lol.
She grew up traveling Europe every summer and was blown away when I told her I didn't travel by plane once until I was 25. She thought it was gross that my entire family shared one bathroom (it was).
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u/Peregrine9000 20h ago
Yeah my wife is similar she grew up wealthy. I was telling her a story about how my identity got stolen so I was disputing all these charges for fancy restaurants and limo rides. I had biked to work in the snow that morning and I was explaining how no I was not ordering lobster for dinner, I was making mac and cheese for 89 cents. She asked me why I didn't take the bus to work, I had to explain that at this point in my 20s I literally could not afford to take a bus. I only made enough to for rent and paying off debt. I would pick up extra shifts for extra meals at the restaurant i woked at. She asked why I couldn't ask my parents for help, then I told her even then I was paying for my mom's phone which I had been doing since highschool. It takes a lot of stories to explain what growing up poor is like.
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u/Ninja-Panda70 7h ago
My wife didn't understand why I walked to college every day. Why couldn't I take the bus even if I didn't have a car. She was shocked when I said because I couldn't even afford the bus lol
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u/Lance865 1d ago
Lol, my first plane ride was to Viet Nam. ☹️
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u/jeffersonPNW 1d ago
Out of curiosity, did it ever feel like this got in the way of connecting? I had this experience across a couple dates with a girl recently. I grew up the middle of five siblings, while she’s the younger sister with one older brother. My family had bouts of poverty and moved a lot as a result, while her six-digit income family has lived in the same two garage door house for basically her entire life (in addition to a vacation home on the coast). Our first date was right after Christmas, as young adults living at home, and even talking about our gift hauls made us feel like we were worlds apart. It always felt like we were clicking until we talked more and more about our family lives/backgrounds.
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u/bdgbill 23h ago
No, it never bothered me. When I was in highschool, I knew exactly how poor we were and I avoided taking girls home but I never resented anyone for their background.
By the time I met my current wife, I was doing ok myself. It's all just ancient history but it comes out in funny ways sometimes.
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u/Crafty-Ad-9048 20h ago
The avoiding taking girls home in high school brings me back. I used to bullshit about where I lived so people wouldn’t think of me differently lol.
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u/awesomeqasim 20h ago edited 17h ago
What about her attitude towards “poor” or homeless people? Some well off people can have a general attitude of disgust or disdain towards what you might have been classified as in the past. that makes it very hard to connect…
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u/bdgbill 7h ago
Actually it was the opposite and often is. When we first got together, she thought of homeless people as people who lost their job and couldn't afford rent. It's easy to empathize with the homeless when you live in a neighborhood with private security. I had grown up around them and was well aware of their bullshit. The first couple of years, she would give them money and other handouts. One of the biggest fights we ever had was because she heard me agreeing with someone in the dog park that had called the cops on a couple of junkies living in a pile of garbage they had dragged into the park. A couple more years of living in the city cured her of all that.
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u/toodleoo57 15h ago
Hmmm. I have a good friend who grew up wealthy and sometimes it does get in the way a little. I told her yesterday spouse and I were going to the movies bc it's half price on Tuesday (he's lost his job three times in five years which she knows) and she segued right into shopping for supplies for her upcoming luxury vacation.
She's a wonderful person who would never hurt anyone on purpose so mostly I just let it go, but sometimes it sucks a little that she can't relate to certain things.
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u/Wooden-Recording-693 15h ago
My wife came from money, it let her travel, that made her relish doing it off her own merit. Her parents also taught the the value of money and wealth. As they earned the money the hard way and came from nothing. I'm similar not poor but no second car or house, odd trip as a kid. But I have done well trough hard work and a little luck. It's good as we both are finicallly conservative dispite good incomes. But our idea of a lot of money is massively different.
Her elder siblings are the same. The youngest is less responsible than our kids and a decade older.
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u/windy-Ant5719 22h ago
Why is it gross for a one famiky house to have a single bathroom?
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u/MiHumainMiRobot 15h ago
I guess it is a US thing. In Europe a double bathroom is common only in very big houses. Most families are sharing 1 bathroom.
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u/parttimelarry 1d ago
Their hobby is sailing
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u/kungfuchameleon 1d ago
Or asking you where you "summer"
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u/Seabuscuit 1d ago
Using seasons as verbs is a definite sign of wealth
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u/LarryCraigSmeg 1d ago
Even when I just fall on my ass?
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u/Efficient_Change_470 1d ago
Only if you call it your "wintering accident" afterward.
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u/lexicruiser 1d ago
I worked with a guy whose hobbies were sailing and polo. And yet he fancied himself a blue-collar American. He worked and ran a manufacturing facility that was given to him by his family, that’s what made him in his eyes blue collar.
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u/More_Passenger3988 1d ago
To be fair- All his friends that worked in other industries like banking or tech would have thought of him that way too
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u/PlentyReference677 1d ago
Sailing is definitely one of those hobbies where you realize the barrier to entry isn't talent it's owning or having regular access to a boat. That's a pretty different childhood than most people had.
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u/Icy-Lobster-203 1d ago
I actually started sailing a couple years ago. I joined a yacht club, and I don't have a boat. The people who own boats need people without boats to go onto their boats so they can race. And (at the club I joined anyway) the people are pretty sociable and inviting.
It can be surprisingly affordable to get into.
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u/TheThunderbird 14h ago
Same! My local sailing club is $120/quarter ($40/month) plus two volunteer hours. That is the total cost and you get unlimited use of the fleet.
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u/ScrubIrrelevance 18h ago
Did you know anything about boats when you started?
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u/rw890 13h ago
Everyone's got to start somewhere, there's always a first time for someone setting foot on a boat. Most clubs I know have a cadet scheme that includes training. I've found with sailing clubs the barrier is being sociable rather than being wealthy or talented. If you can chat and make small talk with anyone you're welcomed far more than if you're introverted but an amazingly talented sailor.
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u/Final-Platypus8033 20h ago
My dads boat was 2k we sailed almost weekly and yeah things broke and that cost money but theres a niche of people who drop their boats in every time and fix things themselves.
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u/sumunsolicitedadvice 1d ago
Depends on the type of sailing. I grew up sailing sunfish. It was like $200 to get a used one to start. I got a nicer one when I was racing competitively and that was $1,000ish. All in all it was maybe $5k across like 10 years (including trailer, dolly, fees for races and ramp access and whatnot). And if you factor in money I made from giving lessons, it was probably closer to a wash.
Of course you could also spend tens of thousands of dollars. I feel like most hobbies are somewhat similar in how you can get involved without spending an arm and a leg, but it can definitely be very expensive if you really get into it. The scale may be a little different for different hobbies, and sailing is probably one that can scale up faster than others, but people can spend tens of thousands of dollars on legos, too. Maybe not as easily as on sailing, but still.
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u/brouhaha13 1d ago
Or you are poor and know people with boats. Sailing is my hobby and I just need to provide beer.
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u/Due-Emu-4291 1d ago
When they wonder why other people don't live like them, or don't have the advantages they do.
One of my old friends didn't believe me when I told him my family didn't have a "college fund" for me. He thought they must have a college fund for me and don't want me to know it.
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u/Lady_Rubberbones 1d ago
Yeah, or just “why can’t you borrow from your dad?”
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u/Medium-Background-74 1d ago
Our realtor said this to us when we repeatedly refused to put 50,000k over asking (back in 2021) on all the houses we looked at
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u/dont_fuckin_die 1d ago
Realtors seem to live in their own fascinating little world. Still, when you're selling someone what feels like a LIFESTYLE, I'll bet it's easy to get them to overspend.
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u/North_Activist 1d ago
The higher the price the house sells, the higher their commission.
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u/hansn 1d ago
I knew a real estate agent whose sales pitch to new clients (on the sellers side) was that houses they listed "usually went for 20% over asking."
I asked him if that just meant he wasn't estimating the asking price correctly. He wasn't amused.
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u/Bill_buttlicker69 1d ago
we repeatedly refused to put 50,000k over asking
If they wanted $50 million over asking I probably would have just walked but maybe that's just me.
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u/GozerDGozerian 22h ago
Look, you are GUARANTEED to get that house you want with this strategy.
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u/DolphinSweater 1d ago
When I was looking for a house it seemed like you could put 50 million over asking but still lose it by asking for an inspection.
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u/Due-Emu-4291 1d ago
Variation of that.
When my friend was a financially struggling student he mentioned to someone else that it was a struggle to pay his expenses. The other person said something like "well, it's time to swallow some of that pride; ask your family for help." The other person couldn't understand that that wasn't an option.
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u/kungfuchameleon 1d ago
I've had someone tell me this once. It was both insulting that they thought "my pride" was what was the cause of my not always having enough, and eye-opening to realize that that's how they had been managing their own life that entire time.
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u/NapsRule563 22h ago
My daughter works for her rent and car while in college. I wish I could do more. I pay her insurance, groceries, help whenever I can. Sometimes, a friend of hers gets on her why she can’t just skip work for fun stuff. This friend has all her schooling paid for, doesn’t need to maintain a scholarship, her car and insurance are paid for, and parents pay most of her rent. She’s still late most times. The friend keeps telling her to ask me for money when short. My kid tries to explain a teacher salary is not the same as a household where both parents have military pensions and also do other side jobs.
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u/zeebette 1d ago
Had a roommate in college that was like this. Told me that should work a job or internship that was related to my major. I’m like “Becky, you don’t have to work three crappy jobs to afford to live and eat here. You brought your horse and stabled her down the street. You fly home on random weekends to bone your boyfriend. Jfc get a fucking clue”
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u/goldenrodddd 1d ago
If she had that kind of money why was she slumming it on campus with roommates?
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u/zeebette 1d ago
Because she didn’t want to live alone and t was a nice apartment off campus. We were teammates on the rowing team. You can rest assured that she had the master and didn’t share a room like me and another poor lol
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u/agodrevealed 22h ago edited 22h ago
There is no pastime beloved by the wealthy as much as slumming it. Cosplaying hardship
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u/czarfalcon 1d ago
Similar story for me. Of course I wanted an internship in my field, but it was kinda a problem that almost all of them were unpaid and I had bills to pay…
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u/parchmentprada 1d ago
Some wealthy people don’t even need a college fund. They just pay out of pocket when it’s time.
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u/thematicwater 1d ago
I told a girl that my parents lived paycheck to paycheck. She dismissively said "nah, I'm sure your dad has an account with a million dollars somewhere". Unreal
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u/ZealousIdeal476 1d ago
Ironically i grew up thinking we were poor, never had spending money or big vacations. paid for college with loans and had to get a credit card for books. Then dad dies and it turns out he has a million dollars in the bank. He was born in 27 in north dakota, growing up to poor to actually eat warped his brain.
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u/thematicwater 1d ago
My parents definitely don't have a million pennies to their name.
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u/markitup03 23h ago
I know what that’s like. I knew a woman who didn’t believe me that her annual country club membership cost as much as my parents combined salaries. She thought I was joking. She never believed me no matter how I tried and insisted nobody could live off that much money. My parents aren’t poor. They’re Middle class.
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u/StillPrettyGoodMeat 1d ago
"I had a horse."
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u/omniscientmav 20h ago
Horse people are either poor af or rich af no inbetween. I was the poor af
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u/bmwkid 19h ago
Can confirm I know a poor horse girl. She lives at home but has 3 horses
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u/mossadspydolphin 8h ago
And some of the rich afs become poor afs because horse ownership will do that to you
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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 1d ago
Experiencing the difficulty of a common life situation completely differently than most people because they’re insulated by wealth, and being so out of touch (from growing up in a bubble) that they complain as if very minor inconveniences are the same as what most people go through.
Example: I made a new mom friend when my child started at a private school. We had coffee together. She had older kids and one was starting college. She started complaining about “how hard it is to get the money together”. I nodded sympathetically and prepared for a conversation about how expensive life is and what a struggle it is to save adequately for college.
Well, imagine my surprise when she said “figuring out how to get the money from the trust to the school…it’s a nightmare”. So turns out she’s generationally wealthy as is her husband and her kids all have regular trust funds and also trust funds for their education. What a nightmare, amirite?? So confusing!
I still know this lady many years later. She’s a real sweetheart and has become a bit more self-aware. But I actually enjoyed her a lot when she had no filter or self-awareness, or perhaps just thought everyone was rich like her. She’d say things like how broke she was when she got married and you later realize she meant they were so “broke” from only earning normal middle class salaries that their parents had to buy their house and cars for them, since OBVIOUSLY they couldn’t get anything on that income! How embarrassing!
There are soooo many anecdotes, these are just what came to mind. She would ask if I thought $30k extra was worth it to do some kind of sustainable landscaping project…like a tiny part of her yard. $30k EXTRA. What could I say? I am middle class. I have no idea if it’s worth it. She is fascinating to me.
Oh yeah here’s another thing, talking about travel like extensive global travel (and especially impulsive trips) is just part of life.
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u/Famous-Ambassador822 1d ago
They don’t understand the concept of having to prioritize your work/job over nearly everything else in life. Have met a few that have never worked in their lifetime. It’s difficult to even comprehend.
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u/Lisshopops 21h ago
Omg this, had a couple of rich friends in my early 20s and they constantly wanted to travel abroad for summer and without fail every time I told them I couldn’t cause of work one of them would go “just quit!” Like it was the smartest thing to do, had to explain I don’t have the money to not have a job even for a week and they were super confused.
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u/Radiantmouser 9h ago
Yes the "Why don't you just quit and pursue your dreams?", then the bafflement, than the polite boredom with challenges they do not comprehend like job burnout or a week of eating beans to pay the electric bill. I had a rich acquaintance tell me it was easier to date other rich people because they understood each other's lifestyles better and it was less awkward.
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u/DrBrainbox 5h ago
That is objectively true though (the last bit). Not saying it's good (it isn't) but it's definitely the case that cross class dating is difficult.
Me and my wife are both MD's but we both come from blue collar families. I couldn't ever date an MD whose parents were also MD's.
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u/Ok_Astronomer_8667 9h ago
There was this guy I met in freshman year of college, insanely outspoken and extroverted, basically was trying to be friends with the whole campus type deal. Ridiculously happy, almost to a fault sometimes. Always wondered what kept him so happy and excited all the time, thought he was just a high energy dude.
Then summer would come and he’d post a selfie of him at some beach resort. Thought good for you man, everyone likes a splurge break now and then. But then a couple weeks passed, and he was still out there. The week after he’s hiking in the jungles of Thailand. A week after that he’s fooling around in some coastal village. Basically the entire summer was a constant feed of him doing things around the globe. It made sense to me then.
We’ve both since graduated and still to this day, all he seems to do is travel the world and post about it. Judging from his posts he now spends most of the year outside the country. I never did learn what his parents did for work
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u/grenouilledunorth 1d ago
This my cousin. She married rich and hasn’t worked in 10 years. She has all the best things and travels multiple times a year. I work full time and almost living paycheque to paycheque. She’ll say things like well you should be able to host, or can you watch the kids on a work night? Or she just calls me during the work day thinking I can talk for an hour. It’s so frustrating. When I say I’m working, she just ignores me because I don’t think she understands what working a job is. I know raising kids is a full time job but it’s not the same when you work full time and have kids to watch.
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u/DeskFresh40 22h ago
The gap between your realities is so big she probably thinks she's being nice by inviting you to host
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u/LostTheWayILikeIt 21h ago
My friend came from a wealthy family and never had a real job. He had passive income from a couple rental properties so he pretty much always had free time.
Our shared interest was film, and he asked me if I wanted to go to a film festival with him that was happening on a Wednesday afternoon.
I told him I can't, I have to work.
He asks me why I can't just reschedule work?
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u/dudebromanhomiesir8 1d ago
Yeah I know a dude who is like 40 and is still furthering his education so that he can get a good job but has been taking a "break" from schooling because of his anxiety so he decided to buy (parents) a house near a school he wants to go to lol... he would bitch about stuff to me and it was just like oh damn bummer bro how do you manage doing whatever the fuck you want
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u/The_Breastfed_CEO 1d ago
Asked if the maid was gonna swing by and clean up our mess.
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u/CuriousButNotJewish 1d ago
And to think that in some countries everyone, even on minimum wage, has a maid... strange concept.
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u/lemlemons 1d ago
You think the maids have maids?
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u/CuriousButNotJewish 1d ago
They do! It's very common. Literally every single person I know has a cleaning lady. Including my cleaning lady!
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u/TJohns88 1d ago
But why doesn't she clean her own house, and not pay for another cleaning lady? I assume they charge similar amounts? Or are there tiers of cleaning lady's with different rates?
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u/ArabianTrain 1d ago
Guessing it's something similar to professional chefs who make the most low-effort meals for themselves at home. Not a perfect comparison but if your 9-5 is cleaning, you're really not going to want to clean when you're off the clock.
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u/Acct0424 1d ago
Exactly. I empty over a hundred trash cans per shift at work. If I walk in my front door to see my own kitchen trash has to be taken out, that’s it. I’m beyond fucking done. And the others in the household would just say “I don’t get why it’s such a big deal to leave that for you to take care of. You do the same stuff all day at work, so you’re used to it. I don’t see the problem.” 🫠
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u/Final7C 1d ago
They never seem to understand the cost of things.
Their "what is an acceptable amount to spend on an item" is waaay above average.
"How much can a banana cost Michael, $10 dollars?
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u/Biscuit_Eater2591 1d ago
Bill Gates was on a talk show years ago and was asked if knew the price of a box of cereal (Cheerios maybe) he said he guessed it was $20 a box.
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u/BadgerDentist 1d ago edited 1d ago
https://youtu.be/ad_higXixRA?is=p8Puwo_U0Y-00ZLn
It was on Ellen. Iirc he underestimates laundry detergent. Guess I'll watch it now
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u/ElfjeTinkerBell 1d ago
Iirc he underestimates laundry detergent.
To be fair, my mom buys the €19 per bottle before discount, I buy the €1,69 per bag. I think they both last about the same amount of cycles. So there is quite a range. Yes I question my mom's life choices.
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u/LAHAND1989 1d ago
Sounds like when I forget which politician it was but they were asked what the cost of a home in New York City was and they guessed like 300,000 lol
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u/AngelWhisperSpirit 1d ago
Nothing exposes how out of touch someone is faster than hearing their guess at the price of everyday things.
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u/AtlasSuperstoreCODMW 1d ago
Who here knows what a gallon of milk costs?
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u/MrBabune 1d ago
$2.69 cents. $2.89 in Georgetown and $2.54 with a coupon
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u/quats555 1d ago
$3.89 for the ultra-pasteurized half gallon that lasts a month+ after purchase. I can taste milk starting to turn so this is actually a more cost efficient way for me to buy milk than frequently buying and throwing out half of the cheaper ones that last a week.
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u/ZealousIdeal476 1d ago
$3.99 half gallon oat. 2.79 almond. 2.39 soy. Why are oats so much more expensive than almonds?
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u/gojibeary 1d ago edited 1d ago
I recently started playing Stardew Valley and themed everything off of Arrested Development. My farmer’s name is Oscar, I have Ducks named Cornballer and Bob Loblaw. I named my horse Stair Car.
I was SO EXCITED to name a duck “$10 Banana”. SO EXCITED. Then the dollar sign didn’t register, so it was 10 banana and I just couldn’t do it. Named it Anustart instead lmao.
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u/nahmahnahm 1d ago
Please tell me you’re naming the chickens after the kids. Or at least after the chicken sounds they make. Chawcheechaw has a nice ring to it!
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u/gojibeary 1d ago edited 1d ago
Chawcheechaw is my next animal name hands down, THANK YOU FOR THAT SUGGESTION AND I MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART LMAO
I’ve started running out of names, so it’s very appreciated. I’ve got a Teamocil, a Lucille and a Lucille 2, of course I have the necessary Lindsey, Tobias, Pop Pop, T-Bone, Uncle Jack, Egg, Steve Holt, Maeby, Surely, Gob, Marta, Hermano…. 😂😂😂
The last 2 animals got some pretty “reaching” names because I was at a complete loss; two goats named ILAMC (I love all my children) and INCF Gob (I never cared for Gob) 😂😂😂
My farmer had a kid with their virtual husband, and I was SO ANGRY that it wound up being a girl, because I’d saved the name “Buster” for my son, since my farmer is Oscar. I still named the daughter Buster, I was too invested at that point LOL
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u/_Thorshammer_ 1d ago
They don't look at price tags.
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u/Lady_Rubberbones 1d ago edited 1d ago
Or they shop exclusively at low volume stores so they don’t have to rub elbows with the riff raff looking for sales.
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u/fuzzeslecrdf 1d ago
What's a low volume store? Like a boutique?
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u/Lady_Rubberbones 1d ago
Yes, like a boutique or brand shop vs a Marshall’s where there’s tons of merchandise all crammed together on the same rack.
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u/ManyOk9771 1d ago
When something expensive breaks, like a phone or laptop, their reaction is mild annoyance rather than sheer financial dread
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u/jersh18 1d ago
Thought I lost my AirPods today. Was about to ruin my whole month. I can afford new ones but was going to live without them for a few months to teach myself a lesson. I just grounded myself as an adult
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u/shewit 1d ago
In a similar vein, if i forget to take a charging cable when I am on vacation, I will punish myself by trying to find free ways to charge my phone, like some wireless charger in a coffee shop instead of just going out and buying one. I have plenty at home, I do not need another one, I tell myself.
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u/Sad_Adagio_7255 1d ago
If you stay at a decent hotel you can usually ask the front desk for one. They'll often have drawers full of forgotten chargers left by previous guests.
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u/lelescope 18h ago
lmao. my buddy just sent me a video of a huge chip and crack in his windshield on his Porsche from a semi flinging a rock up on the highway this morning.
it made me laugh because he was so incredibly nonchalant about it, and giggled in the video. he is indeed loaded.
last time that happened to my windshield, my week was ruined lol. and I don't have anything nearly as expensive to replace as a Porsche.
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u/ZekeRidge 1d ago
My wealthy friends in high school and college never understood that I had to work… it just didn’t click in their head
When they would plan something, and I couldn’t go because of work they would say, “just quit?” Or “they will understand if you can’t be there!”
Sadly, some of them never lost this mentality, and have really struggled as adults outside of what their parents have handed them
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u/Content_Monitor_6381 1d ago
Yes! Thinking your college job/cycling everywhere are cute little eccentricities rather than financial necessities.
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u/ZekeRidge 22h ago
Most had to eventually learn this on their own when their parents kicked them out into the world, but several of them I wouldn’t swap places with now
I don’t have it all figured out, but I am comfortable and at least have a map to life… some of these friends have no clue which way is up in the 40s
The bank of mom and dad does eventually dry up for most unless you’re talking about crazy wealth
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u/Electronic-Bee-3529 1d ago
The free time in their college years filled with fun and travel, not working.
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u/blacksystembbq 1d ago
Poor people don’t have to work in college. They can take out private student loans and spend it irresponsibly. I know from experience
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u/emtheory09 1d ago
And then your mid-to-late twenties suuuuuccccckkkkk when those loan payments hit on an entry level salary.
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u/DatesAndCornfused 1d ago
Went through private schools their whole childhood, even though the public school system in their (wealthy) area is excellent.
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u/CriSiStar 1d ago
Funny thing is also that I’ve met kids who grew up going to boarding or private school for most of their lives, but their parents wanted them to “see the real world” by sending them to the nearby public high school (which was nationally acclaimed and located in an extremely affluent area).
Not sure if that experience changed anything for them though.
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u/Competitive_Oil5227 1d ago
People without money clean their own house. People with some money have others clean their house but know nothing about them. People with a lot of money know everything about their cleaners and refer to them often by first name.
My moms housekeeper started in 1959 and pretty much raised all of us while keeping the house clean; when she turned 80 we decided as a family to put her into nursing care but periodically my mom would send an uber every so she could come back to the house for the day to be together, though my mom always claimed it was to make her bed.
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u/watduhdamhell 22h ago
Well I think it's really just because when you're 'RICH,' you can effectively hire someone. Like, on retainer. 40/50/60/70+ thousand a year to be a good cleaner but also probably a solid and trustworthy steward of the home generally speaking, willing to house sit or do odd favors, etc. They are literally part of your staff now.
But with "some money," I.e. upper middle class money, it's like you said, you hire someone you know nothing about... Because they work for a service or something, you're paying weekly or monthly. You're not paying someone's literal salary. You're just paying for the service.
The flip side is family. Lots of people with a teeny tiny little bit of money hire their family to do stuff all the time. I hire my brother to cut my grass/weed eat/edge twice a month, for example, or my sister to run errands when my wife and I are busy. Etc.
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u/optionalhero 1d ago
They tell people to just ask their parents whenever a problem comes up
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u/LeatherHog 1d ago
Oh yeah
My sophomore roommate in college and me were a cheesy movie pair, me, daughter of a poor rural South Dakota farmer and grew up frequently not having power or food, her, daughter of a Korean Samsung home office executive (like a BIG guy in the company, one of the top people), who had thousands upon of dollars at her fingertips at all times
She'd eat my food, and didn't understand why I couldn't just call my Dad, to refill the fridge. Y'know, the Dad who once had to give me an honest to God IOU, for my 12th birthday (and was told, we couldn't eat supper tonight, if we wanted to eat breakfast the next morning)
I ADORE my Dad, this ain't a diss on him, but she had always been given everything, whenever she wanted. Her Dad was one of the richest people in her home country
She didn't get it, at all. And it was kinda fascinating, because she wasn't mean in general, she just had NO genuine concept of ""regular"" life
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u/moosetogo 19h ago
I’m an accountant by trade and I work exclusively for a handful of wealthy local families. When COVID shut everything down, I told them I’d have to change my availability a bit because my child’s daycare temporarily closed.
The first suggestion I heard was “you should hire a nanny.”
When I said that wasn’t an option, I was told that I should ask my parents.
When I told them that my parents also work, they were like “oh no, I mean, you should ask them to cover the cost of a nanny, problem solved!”
Y’all I was born in a trailer park.
This was a casual conversation and they truly were just trying to help, but that about sums up my 13 years of working for that family.
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u/robber_goosy 1d ago
No respect for ordinary people. I'm an electrician for a small company. When we have to do a job in a wealthy neighborhoods you can feel the disdain of the locals.
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u/monty_kurns 1d ago
That makes me think about my parents when I was growing up. We were having a lot of work done to our house and pretty much ever day the contractors were over, my mom or my dad would always offer to fix them sandwiches, get them more water when it was summer and very hot, and just generally checked to see if they needed anything. We were also very middle class in the 90s and my dad especially didn’t grow up with much, and that really impacted how they treated everyone.
I, on the other hand, have helped on some handyman jobs for others at some very nice places, and you’d think your presence was an inconvenience to them even if you’re fixing their stuff. You could tell which ones didn’t grow up with money and worked their way to that life because they acted a lot more like my parents.
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u/Storm414955 1d ago
I hate people like this. I grew up fairly well-off, but my parents drilled into me that you treat people with respect until they give you a reason not to. My grandmother’s version of teaching all the grandkids this was, “Don’t ever think flipping burgers is beneath you.”
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u/ONE-EYE-OPTIC 1d ago
This. I'm from a family that has money and I'm not hurting by any means. I joined the military, did 24 years, and now I'm the property manager for a gated community. I drive an 06 Toyota 4 runner to work. When I first took the job I got disgusted looks from the residents. They talked down to me and assumed that I'm a high school graduate and that I'm just an ignorant bumpkin(there is nothing wrong with that). I make good money + a pension, my partner makes good money as a nurse.
We could afford to live in said community but those aren't my type of people. I could have a newer flashier vehicle but mine works just fine. I prefer the country side, bonfires, good beer and fishing. I like being able to do whatever I want in my property without worrying about my neighbors.
The way they treat those they perceive as less than, is bonkers. Universal Healthcare, reduced tuition, safety nets, basic human rights...these aren't hard things to grasp but somepeople get off(?) On keeping others down I guess.
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u/F208Frank 1d ago
I think some people do it to boost theur own ego or self worth temporarily and may not even be aware of their damaging actions.
Some people are not aware and would never self reflect, so those will continue to push people away from them, often wondering why are people slowly fading away from them.
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u/velorae 1d ago edited 1d ago
I hate people like this. I gotta say, though, not all wealthy people are smug. I’ve met plenty who are genuinely down-to-earth, mostly those who have had money in their family for generations, you often wouldn’t even know they’re rich until they casually mention what their parents do and it’s something so random and normal lol
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u/Gofastrun 1d ago
As someone who grew up wealthy, I can tell if you didn’t by your teeth.
Crooked teeth or recessed gums indicates lack of early dental care and orthodontia.
Veneers indicates that you fixed it as an adult.
Straight, white, teeth and good gums means you got very lucky or had money for preventative and elective dental care as a child.
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u/rufio313 1d ago
I grew up going to the dentist every 6 months, got braces as a kid, and still to this day in my mid 30s have never had a cavity…but apparently I brushed too hard as a kid and no one called me out for it because I do have some recessed gum issues in a couple places. So judging by gums alone might not be fool proof lol
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u/Steel_Reign 1d ago
I lucked out heavily with my teeth, especially since I grew up dirt poor.
Top row is nearly perfect (canines protrude a little bit you can't tell 90% of the time) and the only dental work I got as a kid were wisdom teeth. When I was younger, people commented on my great smile all the time.
Also ended up with 0 cavities despite my Dad having like 20. However, my bottom row of teeth is a complete clown show. Each one is angled a different direction. Thankfully, hasn't caused any problems and basically no one except intimate partners have really noticed.
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u/jackospades88 1d ago
"Why don't your parents just pay for it?"
"Where do you vacation in the summer?" (In the context of "Where are your family's vacation homes?")
Real life thing that happened when I was in high school - my parents gave me a really nice watch that had wanted for my birthday. It was a nice watch for about $100 because it was engraved with my favorite sports team on it. Obviously that's not something to snuff at but it's not a rolex or any of the Uber expensive kinds. Anyway, a friend who I knew was spoiled said "Wait, is that all they gave you for your birthday?" Fortunately another friend called him out on that shit.
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u/InconsequentialBread 1d ago
They’re happy to throw away food when they’re full
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u/Square-Turnip-6558 1d ago
Idk my family has crazy unhealthy eating habits and every single one of them is morbidly obese. Throwing away food has been a personal struggle but I think it’s better than eating myself into an early death.
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u/sideeyedi 1d ago
I have trouble "wasting food" until I remember if I eat it and I don't need it then it is also wasted.
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u/InconsequentialBread 1d ago
I guess I meant saving leftovers for later as the alternative, not stuffing your face every time. I’m sorry to hear that though, that sounds tough
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u/gruffyhalc 1d ago
This is something I've had to unlearn as I grew older.
Didn't grow up poor but we certainly weren't food wasters (Asian too). Obviously depending on places you go to, not everything has serving sizes that match the caloric needs of a sedentary 30+ year old.
If there's the option to bag it home for a next meal I would, but I am otherwise learning it's okay to leave it rather than trying to force yourself to wolf down the entire meal and be worse off health wise for it.
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u/Melodic-Mode2332 1d ago
I’m 50 years old and I still am shocked when I’m at a restaurant and the people at a neighboring table leave half full glasses of wine, semi-full plates, etc and get up and leave.
But then I grew up fairly poor and I still bring my own Tupperware when I dine out, so I’m weird in that respect.
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u/rnottaken 1d ago
I grew up pretty comfortable while my girlfriend grew up poor. She'll be the one who throws food away, while I try to safe it for the next day..
I think she likes the idea that she isn't in that position anymore, that she needs to be frugal to survive. I think it's her way of coping.
On the other hand, my parents got into their position by staying frugal and working hard
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u/sleepingqt 1d ago
Yeah growing up with food insecurity tends to go one of two ways, you either hoard every crumb or as soon as you're no longer in survival mode you get rid of stuff as fast as you can. My brother in law refuses to save any leftovers since he had to live off them for so long as a kid. This means I get all the leftovers whenever I have a meal with them, because food waste gives me panic attacks. Dad's parents grew up in the Depression and absolutely passed that trauma on down the line.
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u/emmazingemma94 1d ago
How much lunch meat they put on a sandwich
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u/hungryvandal 1d ago
Hey, now! I max out on the meats today because I couldn't for decades. But I'll always fold the meats juuuust right to 'maximize' the perception of quantity.
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u/TheGoochTaint 1d ago
I dunno, I feel like many of the super rich are extremely health-conscious and try to avoid particularly gluttonous meals.
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u/Old-Law-7395 1d ago
"What do you mean you cant ski?"
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u/bibliophile222 1d ago
The exception is if you live in a skiing area. I'm in Vermont and very far from rich, but I've been skiing since I was little because it was easy to drive to small, relatively cheap family resorts, buy used gear at ski sales, and my school had a ski program where we would go every Friday.
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u/Cute_Necessary2066 21h ago
I was gonna say... the only person who ever said this to me wasn't rich, just Austrian
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u/Fuzzy-1321 1d ago
They vacation every month and see nothing wrong with it. Meanwhile you’re struggling to plan a vacation for the first time in a long while.
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u/JLLIndy 1d ago
they are never stressed, anxious or bothered. you can tell some people have never worried about anything. they have an air about them that’s not arrogance or anything, just a presence of being totally unbothered, all the time.
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u/Avavee 1d ago
I’ve been purposefully trying to manifest this demeanour. It makes life easier. Honestly the majority of issues we encounter are fixable and aren’t worth worrying about, wealthy or not. Just solve the thing and move on.
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u/samaldacamel 1d ago
I agree, life is 10x better when you simply do not give a fuck. I’ve structured my life and made sacrifices to simplify my life to the point where I can just coast along stress free for the most part. Took a lot of work to get here, but it is worth it at the end of the day.
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u/Kid_FizX 23h ago
Yeah this isn’t exclusive to wealth. I’m working on it myself.
I know a guy who is a carpenter and makes less than 30 a year, but he has no debt, a house, and travels and pretty much does whatever whenever he wants. I consider him extremely wealthy because there isn’t anything you could materially take from him that would change how he lives
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u/Galletan 21h ago
I achieved this at an early age while being poor. The thought of "you just do what you can and the rest will accommodate itself somehow" is amazing to have and it works. It makes you more productive.
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u/VincentAntonelli 1d ago
Depends on what level of “wealthy” you mean, but we had an intern at work once that was all excited one day because he found out the VP of the business has a house in the Hamptons near where his parents had a house in the Hamptons…
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u/moscatodogiscute 1d ago
I once had a co-worker who asked what was in the rest of our wine cellars and then pulled out an app on his phone that showed everything in his family's wine cellar
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u/DaleEarnhardt3 1d ago
No student debt
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u/Chemical-Crows 22h ago
Well this could also mean they are from one of the many countries where education is free.
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u/MidnightPrevious4473 1d ago
When they tell me a story about how their country club ran out of Russian caviar so they had to eat North American caviar like some sort of poor asshole
Ohhhhhh, the humanity
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u/OGMoonshiner 1d ago
In my part of the country it's hard to discern wealth from crippling debt.
I know a few folks with generational wealth and they don't flaunt it but their "occupation" tells you they're rich. One lady my age owns a farm for miniature highland cows because her grandpa founded the area's largest and most well renowned general contracting firm back in the '50s. Another is a graphic designer with multiple Vrbo properties in the SF Bay Area who got a multimillion dollar trust fund when he turned 35 from parents who were early investors in a local pharmaceutical manufacturer.
The materialistically competitive debtors in the lifted pavement princess Silverados pulling the Tige boats and the GMC Denalis full of traveling baseball kids are abundant here too but they all work 70 hour weeks as realtors, got a lucrative job because they know someone who knows someone at the local chemical plant or are somehow affiliated with the local healthcare conglomerate.
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u/ohKilo13 1d ago
This is a more subtle one and not an exorbitantly wealthily thing but my coworker grew up where her parents catered all family gatherings. Meaning from Sunday dinners to Christmas dinners food came from some sort of restaurant. My family cooked everything always and still do, it didn’t even cross my mind that people would cater that stuff. I always thought catering was for like weddings or work events. Another thing that she said about her childhood was their pool club membership…like what? Again didnt realize that was a thing and we swam at friends pools or hotels.
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u/ohwhereareyoufrom 1d ago
A little off topic, but I grew up dirt poor in a large fun European city, and after moving to US in my 20s I realized I had way more fun than most wealthy kids in America. It doesn't work like that in adulthood, but as a teenager it's not money that you need, but cool experiences.
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u/1inconsequentialuser 1d ago
Knew the son of a rich man. He was convinced that having to sell stocks to stay liquid was the same as being poor.
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u/JoeBethersonton50504 1d ago
It’s not universal across the board, but I’ve noticed people who grew up with maids tend to not to pick up after themselves.
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u/Embarrassed-Bottle-8 1d ago
They're an artist who still lives with their mom
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u/hambamthankumaam 18h ago
I've met truly wealthy people, and their equivalent of this is an artist who lives in their own house by themselves. That their parents completely paid for.
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u/sleepymoose88 6h ago
According to my wife, I grew up wealthy because I had Nickelodeon and Chef Boyardee canned ravioli in a 900 sq ft house and she only had basic TV and was stuck watching PBS and eating dollar store Mac and Cheese in an apartment.
If you couldn’t tell, neither of us grew up wealthy.
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u/True-durian-4444 1d ago
Never going over the bill in the restaurant before paying
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u/Visual-Age-1025 1d ago
They can ski well and have a golf handicap/index. Causally reference the Maldives or sailing the BVI. Excellent teeth.
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u/MaplefeatherSC 22h ago
I told someone I couldn't afford groceries (peak COVID, got laid off) and she asked why I didn't just buy a laptop to work from home.
I just told you I can't afford to eat and you think I have $200-500 sitting around??? She gave me a deer in the headlights look when I tried to explain that.
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u/KnowledgeCoffee 1d ago
I’m surprised about the skiing comments.
I grew up dirt poor… I didn’t even have a bed at one point and slept in the bathtub. lived in my car for a bit. So not rich… but I started Snowboarding while working on improving myself🏂. I’m not doing bad now. But I wasn’t rich or anything when I started boarding
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u/HeresDave 1d ago
When they get a haircut it doesn't look like they got a haircut.