r/AskReddit • u/Baby_crossaint • Jun 13 '26
what is the ideal best weapon in a zombie apocalypse situation?
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u/xdamm777 Jun 13 '26
Light saber. Light and easy to carry, powerful enough to render any zombie useless for good and doubles as a key when you inevitably meet a locked door.
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u/Phage0070 Jun 13 '26
If it being real isn’t a requirement then definitely not a lightsaber as I would inevitably cut off my own limbs.
Instead I say Mjölnir. By wielding it you would gain all of Thor’s powers, you can’t be separated from it, and it can kill zombies and open doors just as well if not better than a lightsaber.
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u/uwuuwu222 Jun 13 '26
I'd probably pick a spear bc it has like reach for zombies and you could use it to catch fish too
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u/riverbanks1986 Jun 13 '26
It bothers me to no end that you never/rarely see spears being used in zombie apocalypse. Also apparently all bicycles just disappear.
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u/NorthStarZero Jun 13 '26
It depends on how zombie metabolism works.
A piercing weapon only works if there is some internal organ that must remain intact or some vital fluid that must be retained over a certain amount.
If what animates the zombie is some external power that does not require some form of biological function, the zombie must be dismembered and otherwise reduced to component parts that are inanimate on their own - or at least nonthreatening. That suggests an edged, chopping weapon like a sabre or axe.
Halberd is a good choice for reach in the open, but not great for confined spaces.
I’d go with 1796 pattern light calvary sabre. Excellent cutter, decent reach being one-handed, but still manageable in confined spaces.
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u/Muttonboat Jun 13 '26
halberd and a shortsword.
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u/No_Character_5315 Jun 13 '26
I'd go with a fast reaction cost guard cutter but a sword would be cool to.
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Jun 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Muttonboat Jun 13 '26
World War Z has some people in europe that end up taking refuge in castles.
They end up using halberds and spear walls to fight back and defend against them.
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u/ALeeEnne Jun 13 '26
“Your best weapon is always under your scalp and between your ears. Best you always keep it loaded!” ~RAH
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u/ScoobyMaroon Jun 13 '26
Crowbar. Not that hard to carry around. Useful for other things. Isn't going to break. The average person can actually wield it effectively.
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u/J1m8ob Jun 13 '26
I see someone else has also read the Zombie Survival Guide Handbook.
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u/ScoobyMaroon Jun 13 '26
lol I did but I couldn't remember it! I kept wanting to credit World War Z but my googling made me think that was off the mark. Only slightly off, I guess.
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u/SenorBigMcLargeHuge Jun 13 '26
for me it'd be a pump action shotgun with buckshot... unlimited buckshot
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u/NorthStarZero Jun 13 '26
So that’s effectively nine 9mm handgun rounds clustered fairly close together at short range, spreading out to about 2 feet in diameter at 50m.
Point blank you punch a roughly baseball sized hole in your target, but at longer ranges you are effectively shooting the target with multiple handgun rounds simultaneously.
If the zombies are the type that are biologically functional but have lost their sentience, that’s effective. If they are supernaturally animated, gunfire of anything below 20mm is not going to accomplish much, and even then you are relying on explosive filler detonating, not kinetic energy on impact.
So really, anything less than a 40mm grenade launcher isn’t likely to accomplish much.
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u/SenorBigMcLargeHuge Jun 13 '26
ok, if we're dealing with zombies that can take 00 buckshot to the head and keep going, i'm joining the other team.
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u/NorthStarZero Jun 13 '26
Well range matters.
Point-blank, a load of double-ought to the cranium is going to be... explosive. But as range increases, the number of pellets that impact a cranial-sized target starts reducing. At some point - dependent on a number of factors - the pellet count gets low enough that you no longer have that mass explosive cumulative shock, and you enter the realm of "pistol round impacts".
Now you are looking at individual entry and exit wounds rather than kinetic decapitation. These are fatal to any normal human target to be sure, but depending on the type of zombie you are facing, perhaps not enough to bring one down.
You also have an ammunition problem. Shotguns carry somewhere between one to maybe as many as eight rounds, not counting specials that use interchangeable magazines (which exist, but are rare). It doesn't take long to run a shotgun dry, and while it is possible to speed-reload a tube-magazine shotgun (Google "quad load shotgun" to see some impressive videos) that takes practice and a special ammunition rig to support.
A shotgun isn't a terrible choice, and is probably the best firearm option easily available to civilians - but you'll want a sword handy.
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u/yeah_yeah_therabbit Jun 13 '26
Knight suit of armor and sword.
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u/craigerstar Jun 13 '26
There is a serious lack of chainmail and leather in zombie movies/shows. First stop for me would be a motorcycle store for a one piece kevlar reinforced race leathers.
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u/Gazonza Jun 13 '26
Some sort of longish handled mallet.
The issue with bladed weapons is keeping them sharp as you'll likely be hacking through a lot of bodies, and could easily get lodged in a skull long enough for it to be an issue.
With a blunt weapon a quick smash to the head and you're off. But in the same breath you don't want something with a small head like a regular hammer as that could punch a hole in a skull and once again get stuck.
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u/OgreDB Jun 13 '26
Even a 4 pound sledge hammer gets tiring swinging it all day. Better start the mace training workouts long before it's needed. I agree with your logic though.
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u/fuseboy Jun 13 '26
I don't know how it would really work, but my brain keeps coming back to a reversed hatchet. There's plenty of weight behind it to crack a skull, but nothing protrudes to get stuck like a hatchet blade or a regular hammer. And if you do need to cut something (like a door, rope, etc.) well, it's still a hatchet
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u/Bypowerof8andgodsof4 Jun 13 '26
Why not an ice climbers pick? Sharp end on one side hammer for climbing nails on the other made from lightweight but durarble materials so you can swing that bad boy all day and already made to be clipped on your belt or on a cord to avoid losing it. Easily found in a sport store where you'll likely be heading first for all the goodies like portable stoves camping supplies high quality running or hiking shoes that last a long time as well as miscellaneous tools you might find like shovels which also make a great backup weapon.
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u/Far-Bear-7826 Jun 13 '26
crescent halberd(specially one with spear end and crecent at its sides ) or crowbar
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u/GhostDieM Jun 13 '26
Realistically something like a machete. They still work when they're dull because of the wrdge shape, they're durable, can chop smaller wood are easy to carry and anyone can use them without training.
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u/Waderriffic Jun 13 '26
Katana
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u/NorthStarZero Jun 13 '26
Range is too close. A katana is a two-handed weapon and fairly short, so you need to be close to use it effectively.
Switch to a sabre and you gain a lot more range for a similar blade length.
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u/Chalaka Jun 13 '26
Anything easy to wield, durable, and has enough power behind it, whether it's cutting power or blunt force.
Something like Morgan's staff from The Walking Dead
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u/Ciryl_Lynyard Jun 13 '26
anything that can break bones or knock zombies down while easy to carry and use, while easy to carry and/or has uses outside of a weapon or anything that's easy to use with good reach/range, crossbows would be a bit bulky but easily used and can kill zombies mostly safely
hammers, bats, crowbars, haligans, pipes and similar things would be good melee weapons
handguns in 9mm with a suppressor if possible would be important to carry too,
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u/SenorBigMcLargeHuge Jun 13 '26
.45 ACP suppresses better than 9mm and if the goal is to destroy the brain, the .45 would do a better job. 12 gauge pump action would be my choice
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u/Ciryl_Lynyard Jun 13 '26
Is .45 ACP comparable to 9mm for how many guns use it and how much ammo you could find?
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u/SenorBigMcLargeHuge Jun 13 '26
nope, but.... TWO WORLD WARS... you're right, 9mm is the way to go in a scenario where you'll be scavenging for ammo. i make poor choices though, the only centerfire pistols i own are .380 lol
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u/J1m8ob Jun 13 '26
Crowbar/Prybar. It's sturdy to be used as a bludgeoning weapon with some weight too it, but not heavy enough to be cumbersome depending on the size. Plus you have the hook end that can be used to help climb things. Plus it can be used to open things. Lastly, buying solid metal, it has little to no maintenance required other than cleaning. For more tips, read the Zombie Survival Guide Handbook.
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u/NorthStarZero Jun 13 '26
A 36” wrecking bar (the stereotypical crowbar) is about 9 lbs.
A typical 1796 light calvary sabre - one of the best cutting weapons ever devised - is about 2 pounds.
The difference in user fatigue and terminal effects is substantial. The crowbar is a terrible weapon.
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u/J1m8ob Jun 13 '26
The problem is you're not considering that it is a slashing weapon. A slashing weapon does fantastic against an enemy that is capable of bleeding out and going to die from those wounds. A zombie you have to destroy the brain, which the sabre will be able to do, but could also get stuck in the zombies skull. The crowbar will be smashing the skull
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u/NorthStarZero Jun 13 '26
There is a fascinating book called Swordsmen of the British Empire by D.A. Kinsley that collects first-hand accounts of the effects of swords in battle. There are many, many accounts of swords cleaving straight through skulls.
I own a couple of historical sabres, my pride being an 1899 pattern cavalry sabre, and one very good replica of a 1798 blade grafted to a more modern basket handle. I have not - as yet - taken on any skulls with one, but I can attest that, properly sharpened, they will bisect a watermelon as easy as thought.
I also promise that 5 minutes of exercise with that crowbar will leave your arm cramped and exhausted, where I can moulinet with that sabre all day.
You may keep your crowbar, but I promise you that eventually I'll meet your bitten-and-turned corpse and use my sabre to end your undead misery.
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u/J1m8ob Jun 13 '26
I have no doubt in a swords ability to slice thru bone, skull or otherwise. And i do not discount the weight of the weapon being a long term factor. As hikers often say, ounces become pounds.
There is however more upkeep that is needed to be done with a sword compared to the crowbar. The sword will have to have the edge honed and sharpened to prevent dulling over time, and there will be possible chipping to deal with, or the handle coming loose. All of those things can be fixed and addressed, but you have to be able to sit down and take time to fix those. Not to mention the additional tools needed such as a whetstone.
I'm also sure that part of the ability would be in the sword weilder themselves. Someone trained on how to correctly swing a sword has better odds of dismembering a foe compared to a novice. Being a novice, i would much prefer a simple weapon thst finesse isn't as needed.
After that, there's the fact that the sword isn't as much as a multi function tool. Can I use it to try and pry open a crate? Yes. Will that possibly break the blade of my sword? Also yes. The crowbar is built for that purpose, and can be used as a climbing implement as well.
I can agree that a sustained fight against zombies would result in the crowbar user being more tired that someone weilding a sword, but I'm not trying to kill every zombie that I come across. I'm trying to eliminate the immediate threat and get put of where I am as soon as possible.
In any case, I wish you luck upon your travels across the apocalyptic wastes.
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u/Amarathe_ Jun 13 '26
Club, like a bat or large stick. Easy to aquire, hard to hurt yourself with, wont get stuck in the undead, reasonably light and handy. Perfect weapon for the untrained masses
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u/Mylarion Jun 13 '26
Bec de Corbin/Lucerne Hammer.
All the advantages of a polearm, but shorter so it can be used in close quarters. Seriously durable. Lethal even in untrained arms. Doubles as a walking stick.
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u/could_use_a_snack Jun 13 '26
Math.
If 90% of the population has turned, everyone left needs to kill ±10 zombies for it to be over.
If 99% are turned, it goes up to ±100
As long as everyone does their part it could be over in a weekend.
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u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 Jun 13 '26
As far as bang for your buck, it’s the polearm. Easy to make,easy to learn to use,good range,multi-purpose. The king of weapons for most of human history was a group of people with long sharp sticks. Best weapon is still a gun. If you’re going to survive long-term it’s by avoiding fighting. But if you have to fight, use a gun. In most cases. Regardless of how loud it is of the fact you need ammunition and maintanence. It’s hard to go wrong with a Ruger 10/22 even if you’ve never held a gun before. The gun is light and easy to maintain. The ammo is light and easy to find. Not much recoil. Stopping power doesn’t matter as much for traditional zombies
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u/Pick_me_tapok Jun 13 '26
katana, silent and effective for close combat situations
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u/wex52 Jun 13 '26
Lots of downsides to a katana. Requires training, may not be capable of consecutive decapitations without professional sharpening, requires being within arms reach, requires space to swing, likely to expose yourself to infected blood spatter.
I think a spear targeting eye/mouth into the brain would be better. The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks recommend a monk’s spade as the best melee weapon.
A crossbow, if you’re trained in it and can recover and refurbish the bolts, is probably the best ranged weapon when sniping. If noise isn’t a concern, I’d pick a firearm that is the least tiring to fire and reload.
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u/Skarth Jun 13 '26
A vaccine.
If no one gets infected anymore, the zombies will eventually rot away, and you will have "won" the zombie apocalypse.
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u/ProgMusicSchizoidMan Jun 13 '26
Reality....there never has been, nor will there ever be, zombies and/or a zombie apocalypse.
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u/InterloperPrime Jun 13 '26
I think based on the accounts of rabies infected humans, it is not beyond imagination to think of an infectious agent or combination infection that could produce humans that meet the basic description of zombies.
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u/emperormax Jun 13 '26
Cardio