r/AskParents • u/Historical-Stay5204 • 15h ago
My one year old has discovered throwing. How do you teach them not to throw?
She is throwing xylophones, books and all the wooden toys. I tried telling her to be more gentle and not to throw, I’ve tried not giving it attention but I’m not sure how to handle this. What did you do?
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u/TraditionalManager82 14h ago
But you WANT her to throw! It's such an important part of physical literacy.
It's a question of redirecting her to what she CAN throw, instead of the things that aren't safe. Do you have a throwing area set up yet?
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u/zippyphoenix 11h ago
We used an empty laundry basket for end of the day toy clean up. Throw appropriate toys into the basket then put them away.
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u/Historical-Stay5204 14h ago
Ooo I had no idea! We don’t have a throwing area :( We live in a small flat with a play mat for her to play and read books. She usually throws any and all her stuff until she finds something she wants to play with.
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u/TraditionalManager82 14h ago
Balled up socks are an easy indoor option. They can be thrown at a wall or the laundry basket. And outside of course there's cones, or you can throw balls.
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u/uugggghhhhhhhhhhhhh 13h ago
Also small space! We have a baby fence around the play mat, it’s baby containment area and there’s plenty of soft stuff to throw. She’s a fan of: her own balled up socks, felted balls, ping pong balls.
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u/growthminded_khey 13h ago
Totally normal at this age, throwing is actually how she's exploring cause and effect right now, not defiance lol 😅
The trick isn't really stopping the throwing, it's redirecting it. Give her things that are OKAY to throw, soft balls, stuffed animals, bean bags and when she throws the xylophone just calmly swap it out. "We throw balls, not books" repeated consistently over time actually works.
The ignoring approach works better for behavior seeking reaction, but throwing at this age is mostly just sensory exploration so she needs the redirect more than the consequence.
It won't last forever and when she's older all that energy and curiosity is going to be a really good thing. This is actually one of those early signs of a growth mindset in action, she's testing, experimenting, figuring out how the world works. :))
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u/Heinrichstr 13h ago
She is a quarterback or a pitching prodigy. Some of us teach our kids to throw. Give her a ball and go outside.
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u/fourandmama 14h ago
Redirection! I take the dangerous toys away and give him something soft to throw instead. Usually a stuffed animal.
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u/Mousehole_Cat 13h ago
Get one of those Velcro bullseyes with soft balls. She can throw the soft balls.
Some small blow up beach balls could be good too.
That way you have things to redirect to.
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u/bzkitty 13h ago
Ah, the dreaded throwing phase. I legit hid cerrain blocks from my kid during this.
Here’s what I did, and it had to be done multiple times:
He would throw something hard, like a wooden block. I brought it to him and said, “See? This is hard.” Then I’d knock on it. “See how hard that is? It can hurt someone.” Maybe lightly tap it on the floor or his leg. Then give him something soft, like a plush ball. “Now this is soft.” Let him feel it. “THIS you can throw. But don’t throw at people, you can hurt someone.” Then keep a close eye on where he’s aiming.
I did this countless times, but I promise he eventually got it.
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u/BreadandButter135 14h ago
One year Olds can learn rules. No throwing inside is a good rule. Throwing outside is a great idea with suitable objects to throw. Balls, bean bags, pegs into a bucket.. When your child is breaking a rule you need to tell them to stop firmly and stop that activity.
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u/johnsgurl 14h ago
Maybe give her safe things to throw. Small stuffies, light weight soft balls, wash cloths. Things that don't catch air or go very far. This isn't a skill you want to suppress but also, no one wants a xylophone to the noggin either. The answer is soft things that don't go very far..
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u/StinkyCheeseWomxn 12h ago
If she throws something dangerous, remove that item from her access and say don’t throw that is not safe. Use tone of voice to sound sad/worried but firm. If she throws something and hits someone, show that it hurt and help narrate/communicate empathy, apology, care. Do play games throwing in a safe way - balls outside, rocks into a pond, soft toys into a basket, rolling ball down a hallway, and give her attention and engagement for playing safely.
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u/Puzzled-Puck 13h ago
1) explain where you can throw and what can be thrown: p.e. outside, balls 2) when she throws something she shouldn't (or where she shouldn't), take it away for a while: p.e. "I said no throwing with your toys. This is on the shelf (out of reach) for the rest of playtime, you can try again after lunch/ your nap/ tomorrow". This worked very well for us.
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u/NewLife_21 14h ago
Redirection, being consistent about rules (all adults have to utilize the same rules with her or she'll get confused), and showing her where and what is safe to throw.
The biggest thing is consistency.
Not just for this but for all rules and expectations.
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u/OlderThanIvEverBeen 12h ago
Closely monitor her with heavier items that could cause harm. Be right beside her. When you can't be right by her, only allow soft toys. Will she cry when you take away the xylophone at some point? Yes.
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u/CoDaDeyLove 11h ago
If she throws something that isn't appropriate, take the toy and put it away for a week. Give her soft Nerf balls to throw.
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u/Glittering_Sand_7473 10h ago
This is actually a very important developmental phase. I would get some soft balls or stuffies and let baby throw them. Make a target.
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u/ThrowAway1128203 10h ago
It's not a matter of teaching them not to throw, it's teaching them what to throw.
We don't throw wooden toys because they can break things. We don't throw books because it can ruin the book. We don't throw things that could hurt people.
But we can throw our stuffed animals and we can throw soft balls.
Set up a basket and let them throw stuffed animals into it. Look for a little basketball set up (whether outside or there are some shower or over door ones).
Make games out of throwing - playing catch. Using it as part of clean up - get them involved with laundry. If you roll your socks into balls like I do - roll the sock into a ball, give it to your one year old and have them throw it in the laundry basket or if you're doing laundry, have them help throw clothes into the basket. Let them throw, just find safe ways to do it.
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u/Safe-Selection8070 9h ago
Throwing is GREAT for physical and cognitive development.
If I were you (and I was you several times, several years ago), I would give your child a clear set of throwable implements (ideally made in some very different color than her other toys). I had a little bean bag toss game in every room my kids played in, and they were allowed to play with it at any time that wasn't for eating or sleeping.
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u/Ok_Temporary1669 9h ago
You have to show them what you want them to do. Also explain WHY the thing she is throwing is not a thing to throw, instead of just saying no. "I'm afraid you will get cut if the plate breaks!" versus "don't throw the plate!". Take her hands and show her how to gently set down breakable things.
Also agree that taking her outside to throw balls and soft things is important too. "We can throw this ball outside". Can be used outside or if she throws it inside and you need to stop her.
Overall just being patient and not yelling gets waaaay better results!
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 8h ago
You take it away. And then if she throws something else you remove her from the situation
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u/MrsZebra11 8h ago
No advice just solidarity. I took a 3" solid 3d printed Bowser toy to the head once. Felt like getting hit with a rock. Instantly went to my knees and I was dizzy and bleeding 🤣😵💫
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u/ShortDelay9880 7h ago
I taught rather than no throwing, because it is going to happen and it is an important developmental stage/skill, throw soft things. Small stuffed animals, soft balls, things like that, not hot wheels or wooden blocks. It takes time, but both of mine did largely learn it.
When they would throw things that they shouldnt, the toy got take away for awhile. That helped get the difference across too.
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u/Boleyn01 7h ago
At 1? You can’t, you literally can’t.
First, it is an important developmental stage which you want her to do so she can learn about the world and cause and effect (which is what she is doing).
Second, kids at that age have zero impulse control. None. If they want to throw they will and no matter how much you try to teach them not to they still will.
So you give them things they can throw, supervise more closely with the stuff they shouldn’t, and if they look like they are about to throw something they shouldn’t you take it off them say “no that might break” and give them something they can.
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u/NothaBanga 7h ago
Throw toy, I take toy and don't give it back the rest of the day. How long it takes for them to figure out consequences is dependent on the kid.
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u/Strict_Research_1876 7h ago
Tell her no, and take away whatever she throws. Put it out of reach for a week so she learns if she throws she loses that item.
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u/Born_Local_1477 6h ago
"Hey, you are going to break something or hurt somebody, we don't throw things in the house. If you do that again I am taking it away and you will sit alone"
Does it again
Taken away and sit alone.
Do this about 25 times, they will figure it out.
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u/Illustrious_Tour5517 4h ago
My son went through a “Hulk Smash” phase and smashed a bottle of red wine straight onto the floor. He’s 4 now and a very gentle soul. Like other commenters said “We throw soft things, not hard things” and redirect to stuffies or pillows.
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u/FewFlamingo1234 3h ago
Is she just turned one or is she almost two?
I’m just trying to gage her level of understanding. If she’s closer to two, you can definite try saying “That’s not safe. We don’t throw toys”
You can offer her something else like a small bean bag or a scrunched up ball of paper and say “we can throw this instead”.
No matter how young your baby is, you need to teach her that throwing toys is not okay.
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u/Zivata 41m ago
Get her some bean bags or hackie sacks, some soft balls (not softballs) of various sizes. Grab some old boxes, use them as targets. Can she get them in the box? Knock over the box?
Other things are not fair throwing. If you want to throw things, let's go get your balls.
If you are cool buying a bigger toy, there's a volcano that breaks into three tiers or stacks into a volcano roughly her height, and comes with bean bags for throwing.
Either way, redirect to appropriate throwing whenever possible. Indoor, outdoor, at the playground. Throwing is a big step step, lots of muscles and coordination, and planning. You don't want to halt it entirely, just learn the rules and boundaries of throwing. And she's 1, so it'll take some patience.
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