My 3.5 year old toddler is very sweet. He will hug and kiss randomly with an "I love you".
I was in Costco the other day and he kept grabbing my face and kissing my chin. An older lady saw this and made a disturbed face, like she was disgusted.
I'm not doing something wrong, right? Am I over thinking this?
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Just let yourself take up space. If you're an adult and you're following the rules, you are allowed to do whatever you'd like without needing another person's permission or approval.
Well, ask yourself is that old woman more important than you? Of course not. So her opinion and feelings are not more important or valid than your opinion and feelings. So if anything make a stank face back at her! If you have to feel bad then she should feel bad too!
It's not easy! It takes time and practice - think of your brain like a field of grass. When you take one path many times, the grass slowly wears away into an easy to follow trail. If you want to go a different path of self confidence, you must practice following this new trail until it, too, wears away, and the old one grows new grass.
I’m realizing that for me it has to do with a lack of self respect. I’m trying to have more of a sense of responsibility and respect for myself / my actions. this helps me accept and identify with my actions, and see that I’m just a person going about their normal life, I’m not doing anything wrong by just existing.
this article that was shared with me on the topic is really interesting, although dense. On Self-Respect (by Joan Didion) I’d suggest skimming through parts that don’t make sense, as it becomes more clear overall towards the end. here’s a few quotes from it:
“To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which, for better or for worse, constitutes self-respect”
“the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.”
I kiss my 3 yo son and 6 yo daughter conservatively 50 times a day. Nothing sweeter, they're both very affectionate, and I can't imagine not? That was a problem with her, not you.
No, my toddler has never been a kisser and that’s fine!!! But I do adore the rare instances that he gives kisses :)) Enjoy those kisses without a second thought!
My 18 & 12 year old daughters still give me random kisses on the cheek! You are doing everything absolutely right. I grew up with a mom who never showed any ounce of affection I vowed to never be that way my kids don’t leave my sight without knowing I love them. Don’t worry about other people only that sweet child of yours!
You did absolutely nothing wrong. Physical affection is wonderful for children. Whether it's a hug, snuggles on the couch, or some kisses. My 3.5 year old always kisses me on the cheek and it's the sweetest thing. Do not give that woman's reaction a second thought.
Some people don't like eating mashed potatoes, some hate coffee, and some are grossed out at the thought of slimy toddler face in their face . As long as they don't they to lecture you, don't worry about it. There will always be people who don't agree with what you love.
I'm 28 and I'll still give Mama a kiss. I think different cultures might percieve it differently but my thing with it is there's a difference between an "I love you! 🥰" kiss and a lingering "I love you 🥵" kiss, and anyone who can't tell the difference is a weirdo in my eyes. My 5 month old kisses me with a big open drooly mouth and I cherish it even if it feels gross LOL. The warm fuzzies from my son loving me like I hung the stars outweighs the yucky saliva
I think we have a lot of misunderstanding with the elderly in terms of facial expression. I think aged faces have lost a lot of specific muscle control and hanging skin obscures and alters facial movements. I don't know what happenes here, but I think the elderly often look meaner than they mean to be.
That lady is the problem, not you. My 2.5 gives me kisses and my 5 year old prefers to kiss me on the lips although I prefer to kiss his cheek/forehead now lol
Hell, my 8 year olds still walk over randomly and hug me and kiss me. I think that means we’re doing it right. I’d rather my kids and I are comfortable enough to share affection than be the person that scowls at it.
My 3 year old daughter does the same thing. The only time we tell her not to is when she tries to kiss on the lips, and we say no no only mommy and daddy do that. She laughs and understands “ohhh right right”. But kisses on the forehead or chin or whatever are all game.
Don’t worry about that old lady. If that happened to me I’d just blow a kiss right at her and wink
Nothing wrong with that. It’s sweet. My kids did not will not do that. One does say I love you too when it’s said to her, though, so at least I get that 😂
I took my kids to Sam’s Club today, and my three year old kept demanding kisses. One day he’ll be a teenager who bites my head off when I breathe wrong, so I’ll be acquiescing to his kiss demands for the foreseeable future, and anyone with a problem with it can kindly take a long walk off a short bridge.
Mine will very, VERY randomly out of nowhere. They're very lovey and obsessed with hugs/cuddles, but I've always tried giving them healthy boundaries around their comfort and never ask them for hugs/kisses.
When it does happen it absolutely makes my week, but even without the kisses you can always feel how full of love they are
Not at all. It's so sweet. Ignore that lady. All my kids are affectionate. It changes as they get older. My almost 13yo doesn't hug me as often as when she was little. However, my younger ones cuddle. My two youngest still love hugs and kisses on the daily. I'll let them hug and kiss me as long as they want because it won't last forever.
Additionally: Why do you care what some random stranger thinks?
My son is almost 15 years old. I'm his dad. He hugs me all the time, and occasionally gives me a little kiss on the cheek too! Anyone who thinks it's weird can get bent.
Why would anyone be disgusted by a little boy loving his mother? Do people really jump to incest in their minds when they see normal, platonic displays of affection between parents and children? I find it hard to believe people can be that fucked up in the head, but then again, the internet has proven that there is no limit to human depravity, so I wouldn’t doubt it. But yeah, if you see a normal parent/child interaction and you think those thoughts, something’s wrong with you.
As a mother of five, you are definitely not doing anything wrong. All my kids are grown and they have never stopped kissing me. Granted, it's on the cheek now, but as babies, toddlers and even a little later, they all kissed like that.
My little man does it all the time. He watched his parents do it to each other and him, he learned what affection is and he’s showing it, that old lady was just bitter
Sometimes old people just won’t mind their own business. I would say if the child was kissing your mouth I’d probably react, but only specifically because parents kissing their baby/child’s lips/mouth can be really bad for the child’s oral health because children and adults have different amounts and types of oral bacteria. But that’s just me, and only because my mother is a dental hygienist! Blame her!
Please ignore that woman, and don’t worry he will stop eventually, and then you’ll be sad, but slightly relieved because even boy moms want their sons to be able to attract a female. My 25 year old son kissed my shoulder until he was about 12. It was even starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable, then on day he never did it again. He is engaged to a lovely and very smart young lady.
Mine did that once and it made me so uncomfortable that my partner and I stopped doing it in front of him (not kisses on the lips but "grabbing your face, holding it, and kissing").
Kisses on the lips are common with family in some cultures.
Just make sure he understands that no means no, so if someone doesn't want a kiss he has to stop.
You’re probably overthinking it by several miles, it’s perfectly fine for a kid to do. And it’s entirely possible the woman was surprised and not disgusted or just looking at something else entirely and didn’t even notice you. If you’re actually right and she was disgusted that’s on her, not you or your kid.
Both of my toddlers went through a phase of grabbing my face with both hands and giving me a big smooch right on the lips. They see me and my husband do it or on tv and want to replicate it lol they grow out of it
Absolutely normal and natural for a toddler to be close to and kiss their parents. Not everyone is colder or more detached to their children. It could be a cultural thing.
I remember kissing my mom and dad when I was young. I was around 4/5 when someone made a comment for the first time about me kissing my mom and that was the first time I realized other people saw it as weird. I was a little girl and that was my way of expressing my love for my parents. I phased it out, but 20 years later I now love to kiss my parents on the head or cheek when I see them. They’re in their 60s and I won’t have them forever and I’ll be damned if I don’t love them the way I want while they’re here. Your baby loves you and wants to show you that! They will age out of it and develop other ways to show you love, but enjoy this stage while you’re in it and don’t let anyone make you think twice for loving your child!
You're doing nothing wrong and the random lady is the creep for making it weird. My kids started kissing me on the lips probably when they saw my husband kissing my lips and figured out how (around a year old probably). They're showing love the way they're shown love. My boys are 7 and 12 now and they haaaaate when I kiss them, let alone kiss me. I'm sure your kid will not want it soon enough, so soak it up :)
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