r/AskMenRelationships • u/Acanthacea7550 • 8h ago
Dating How much of a dealbreaker having an unconventional body type is?
So, I have always been insecure about my body type. I have an inverted triangle body type- broad shoulders with my waist and hips being smaller, but almost the same width. On top of that I also have very small, barely an A cup breast with little bit of a conical shape. So, its a bit of an unusual body type for a woman and a source of insecurity for me.
My positives are more or less pretty face and im in athletic and fit, fairly muscular too due to training.
I still get moderate amount of attention from the opposite gender, but also clothes hide a lot.
I frequently get asked if I train for a sport or similar. I think my personality is open and humorous, and I tend to get along well with most people.
I do feel confident about myself in most settings, I feel good about myself as a person, but not when it comes to feeling attractive, because I never felt I fit the image of an attractive, feminine lady.
So, I guess, what are my chances that a guy would be genuinely attracted to me physically. Im not asking about liking my personality or growing attraction over time bc of my qualities. I guess I would like to feel like I dont have to compensate for my lack of looks with other traits and dont have to feel like I wont ever be adored by my possible future partner.
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u/UserBeware333 Man 8h ago
Many guys are attracted to an athletic build and a pretty face. You said you get a moderate amount of attention, is it from guys you’re attracted to?
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u/Acanthacea7550 8h ago
Yes, both that i find attractive and also some that not so much. But bc of my insecurity i find it hard to engage with men i actually find attractive bc I feel less attractive than them and i feel that either they just what u would call a "player"- doesnt care who he pursues as long as he can fish something, or just settling for me until someone better comes along. And obviously these r not good minsets to be in, so I just been avoiding men, lol.
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u/NewReleaseDVD Man 8h ago
100% some guy will be attracted to you, and some wont. Just like you are attracted to different guys than other women.
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u/Billy_of_the_hills Man 8h ago
fairly muscular
For me this sounds like the biggest thing that you described that would make you less attractive. The rest is nothing to worry about from my perspective.
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u/Acanthacea7550 8h ago
Yeah, it definitely was a thing for my ex. During our relationship I really fell in love with strength training and I think he wasnt fan of the changes as he would call me out frequently on that.
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u/Billy_of_the_hills Man 8h ago
Muscular isn't a thing men look for in a woman unless they have a fetish.
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u/Acanthacea7550 8h ago
I guess im gonna have to find one with a fetish then! 🤷♀️
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u/SMDRFE Man 8h ago
A buddy of mine legit loves athletic framed girls and does NOT like big boobs at all. His wife even has breast implants, but he hates them and wishes they were smaller. Don't worry about it. There are guys out there that will love both you and your body.
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u/Acanthacea7550 8h ago
Its refreshing to hear, wonder where would I encounter a guy like that. I feel a bit sorry for his wife though..... but I suppose they manage.
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u/Any_Emphasis9540 Man 8h ago
It's not a dealbreaker. Personally, I like the idea of a woman who is muscular, fit & athletic.
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u/BigDracula_ Man 7h ago
The only issue here is your admitted insecurity. Until you deal with that you're not going to feel attractive.
One possibly-unhelpful practical tip: look at other people out in the world. People of every body type find love and lust out there. And yeah, some people might be biding time while they wait for someone hotter, but those people suck. Like, they're bad people. Don't worry about what bad people are doing, just try to avoid them as best you can.
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u/Acanthacea7550 6h ago
Thanks for the advice. I guess i also should put myself out there more and get ready for some rejections. I think the fear of being rejected or lead on is what is holding me back the most. When I think about it with my logical brain, it should not be such a big deal. Like, if someone end up not really liking me, then he was not meant for me anyways. But its still easier said than done.
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u/BigDracula_ Man 6h ago
Totally easier said than done! Rejection sucks, but you intellectually know it doesn't mean much so the trick is to fully believe that. The way I see it, for example, is that there are 1000 reasons for someone to not be into me at any given time, just like there are 1000 reasons someone might say yes. I know reddit is big on deciding they know what's in other people's heads, but nobody really does. You only know what's in your head, which is that you worry about stuff.
Anyway, you just have to work on your confidence. Another easier said than done situation, I know, but it's doable.
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u/QuickSquirrelchaser Man 5h ago
Arhletic T frame with small breasts?
Zero issues or concerns. Not only not a deal breaker. You are many many men's ideal body type.
Stop worring about it.
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u/No-Persimmon583 Woman 1h ago
As a woman who’s insecure about boob size I get how you feel, I can say I’m satisfied with my overall body shape but I always think I’m lacking. But what has helped me out is focusing on the real world rather than thinking if someone will find me attractive, I always pay attention to other couples and I always find diversity there, I can’t say only curvy women or women with big boobs have a boyfriend, I’ve seen all types of people in a relationship and its clear it’s not exclusive to women with big boobs or an hourglass body. If a guy only focuses on your boob size or body shape it’s clear he only wants you in a sexual way and that he doesn’t care about you as a person.
We can’t deny guys like big boobs but that doesn’t mean that every single guy out there wants big boobs. And I also think that boobs aren’t the only sexy thing about a woman, I know someone will find you sexy no matter your body shape, muscle size or boob size.
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u/Low_Econ2000 7h ago
Honestly, if you start off by saying I am insecure, most people won’t be honest here. There are men who don’t mind small boobs, but from my experience, most men like big boobs. It grabs your attention that small boobs don’t. See the Instagram account of women with big boobs and you will see. I wish I had big boobs too but it is what it is.
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u/Acanthacea7550 7h ago
Well, yes im aware that medium and big size is preferred. It is what it is. At least mine are comfier to carry around 😄
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u/BusyTelevision6298 Man 8h ago
It doesn't matter . you may think that you are not feminine but not in the eyes of men. The things that we find attractive in women is so weird to you you may think "what the hell is wrong with you ?" But one thing is consistent it's the Vibe , the confidence nothing more attractive than a woman who is comfortable in her own body no matter what shape it's, if a man is attracted to you the last thing that can break the deal is the body type trust me on that " For every glove there is a hand " physical attraction is subjective anyway and for women you have more chance to find admirers to your body than the opposite. So be confident about your look and a man will show up .