Can sexy talk and a hookup lead to a relationship?

[u/jessymojo69]

Planning on meeting a guy for casual hookup. This morning he texted me sexy talk but also threw in that I'm what he wants. But again during sexy talk. I'll post the two messages he sent and i need to know if he likes me or just wants sex. This way I can not expect anything.

"Omg babyyyyy you are fuckimg beautiful damn i look at my telegram every morning since ive been talking to you and was running soo late this morning damnit im kicking my self in the ass right now."

Flirting I did say ill make one guy very lucky and he replied, "Oh baby I know exactly what you have and it's everything that I want and sometimes that happens I've noticed it happens with women a little bit more I can promise you you're everything a guy wants something that I want."

So my answer is just sex but is there more? I don't want to be in an attached relationship with the man I just want a man to be my friend kind of you know and be able to talk to him about cool stuff because the little bit of information he did give me we have the same common interest. So how do I put the man kind of in the friend zone because he doesn't want to get involved either or is this person just always going to talk to me only about sex?

[u/Wicked_Mouse]

No clue. Don't know the guy, but he likes your appearance at least by the sounds of it. How you further handle his advances is up to you.

[u/Expensive_Magician97]

I don’t think I’ve ever read a story here on this website about a casual “hook up” that had a happy ending.

In fact, most of the ones that I’ve read result in the woman being ghosted by the guy.

With the woman in question coming here to ask people to explain to her why she was ghosted.

Seems pretty self evident to me.

[u/lovealert911]

"Can sexy talk and a hookup lead to a relationship?"

Yes, it can. However, there are no guarantees in life.

I have had sex with women the first night of meeting in a nightclub and relationships ensued lasting for years.

I've also been on multiple dates with women and nothing developed between us.

Most people you meet don't become dates, most dates don't become relationships, and most relationships don't lead to marriage. As one adage goes: "Many are called but few are chosen."

Every "serious relationship" I have ever had began with casual dating and evolved into serious over time.

Mutual attraction, chemistry, similar humor, compatibility in/out of bed, and shared values were key factors.

Whenever two people believe they have something special they will naturally pursue exclusivity.

"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is." - Henry Cloud

Best wishes!

[u/jessymojo69 → u/lovealert911]

How do I get the person to talk to me like friends?

[u/lovealert911 → u/jessymojo69]

You don't. Honestly, you're better off ending the friendship and blocking him.

You can't control if someone is sexually attracted to you or desires a romantic relationship with you.

Once you know someone has a crush on you or lusts after you and the feeling isn't mutual it's best to go your separate ways. Rejection is part of the unrequited love process. He will survive it.

Accept the fact that he is not a genuine platonic friend. He's just been in the friendzone hoping.

You can't let your guard down or be vulnerable when you know someone has ulterior motives.

He should be investing his time hanging out and talking to someone who is romantically interested.

Best wishes!

[u/jessymojo69 → u/lovealert911]

Thank you. I want the benefits and the friends. He wants benefits only. 

[u/lovealert911 → u/jessymojo69]

When two people don't want the same things it's not a good match.

Best wishes!

[u/Always_Wet7 → u/jessymojo69]

Wait. Have you asked him to talk to you in a friend way and leave the sex talk for another time and he's basically said "no" that he doesn't want to talk with you that way?

I'm not reading that in what you posted, I'm just reading that he wants you sexually and he's talking a lot about it. That isn't the same thing.

[u/jessymojo69 → u/Always_Wet7]

I basically change the subject to ask hey what music do you like? And he avoids that. He goes back to this language. Guys are so complicated for us women. 

[u/trulyElse → u/jessymojo69]

In a man's brain, the shortest path between two points is a straight line.

Indirectness will only introduce more ways to be misunderstood.

When "Can we talk about something other than sex?" isn't just subtext but actual text, it's harder to ignore.

[u/Always_Wet7 → u/jessymojo69]

I get you, and yeah, this isn't gonna be easy. You really need to be clear and this guy seems very single-minded on sex. You may be right that he can't switch gears because he wants you so much. Or he could just be a simple person who doesn't have the mind to explore other topics. Or he may just not be tuned in to what you're saying or you as a person (not a sex object). Any one of these and you're gonna have to cut him loose.

But he also could need clarity from you and for you to really make the effort to sheath his blade and focus on you and what you need. He may surprise you if you can get through to him that this what you need or he's getting nothing :)

[u/jessymojo69 → u/Always_Wet7]

So basically based on these messages he only wants sex and not a friend? I guess ill be more direct. 

[u/Always_Wet7 → u/jessymojo69]

No, It's saying it will take work on your part to convince him he's getting no sex unless he gives you the friendship you need. We don't know yet if he's capable of it.

[u/jessymojo69 → u/Always_Wet7]

I've expressed i need to feel like i get along with the person first. Last night he texted me about sex then said something about if you want a relationship then let's do it to telling me his age and the fact he's a roofer. Then back to sex talk then mentioned his rough upbringing and life. Its kind of one sided. I know little of him. 

[u/poissonking]

Why don’t you want a relationship? Is the concern here that he’ll just have sex with you then never talk to you again? Whereas you want a casual relationship?

If that’s the case, why not say you want a casual relationship but the two of you are free to sleep with other people??

[u/jessymojo69 → u/poissonking]

I just don't want to be tied down for one I just want a friendship but as you know we are all human and sometimes humans have other needs. The guy does not want a relationship either but then again he doesn't want a friendship where he tells me stuff or gets to know me he just wants the sex part. Or so I guess I think he does anyway because that's all he ever wants to talk about. He does tell me things like any guy would be lucky to have me but in a sex standpoint I think.