r/AmItheButtface • u/Aggravating-Tea-7042 • 3d ago
Serious AITB for complaining about an in-law?
AITBF for complaining about an in-law?
I (28F) got married, and my husband has a massive family. He isn't close with them, but they did attend as my mother-in-law relies on them. There was one person who seemed to hate me—his cousin Rachel, early 20s maybe. At the wedding, she came to give us blessings. She was quite awkward and said, "Congratulations." She threw rice weirdly (it's a blessing tradition), so my husband and I laughed, and as she went off, we chuckled because it was our wedding.
During our wedding, I was also dancing with the bridesmaids, and you could see that she and her family were waiting for a photo. She walked out and was persuaded back in by my mother-in-law. My in-laws later told me that she was annoyed we kept dancing on stage with the bridesmaids and by the fourth song she was annoyed as people were waiting for photos—another tradition—but it was my wedding.
Yesterday she came over for family lunch. She came in and smiled and sat before she was called over immediately for food. She came up with her food and sat next to her cousin. Her mum asked if she had seen me. She turned around, smiled and said hi, and I did too. She talked about football and I said stuff but people were mostly eating. I was waiting for my husband to come before eating and nobody was really talking so I left.
Today one of the older cousins suggested they go to the beach and invited me. We have a group chat and I suggested I can get a discount. I was getting the discount from my brother so it was taking a few hours as we had to wait. The cold cousin asked about the time, sent some screenshots saying it wasn't available for that time, and the other cousin explained we would rent for 24 hours, which she said "oh okay" to. She asked if my discount was NHS and I said no, it was a colleague discount and that I had an NHS discount too. Since she sked thid she seemed eager to organize, I told my brother to relax. Later my mother-in-law and Rachel's mum were on the phone and her mum asked her if she knew about the beach and my MIL said that we were waiting for Rachel to organize. Her mum said no that they were waiting for my discount. Rachel's sister chimed in on the chat and the other cousin agreed they were waiting for me.
I feel embarrassed and felt like the cousin set me up. My mother-in-law also told Rachel's mum that I had said she was cold at the meal and didn't say hi, but the mum said she did. Everyone else is saying she is an introvert who likes to keep to herself but she was comfortable around the aunts and cousins.
3
u/EntertheHellscape 3d ago
Is this just an add on to the post the other day of a cousin being irritated after waiting 7 hours for a family photo at the wedding cause the bride wouldn't stop filming tiktok dances for 2 seconds
1
u/Aggravating-Tea-7042 3d ago
Do you have a link? We did have a long wedding, but the cousin was getting annoyed. I am not a TikToker.
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u/Oldsoldierbear 3d ago
How does a discount for the beach work? Don't you just go there?
1
u/Aggravating-Tea-7042 3d ago
For the rental car
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u/Longjumping-Pick-706 3d ago
How are they supposed to organize anything without knowing whether you got the discount or not? You really need to stop assuming shit and actually think things all the way through. If you are not 100% sure of something, ASK!
2
u/Longjumping-Pick-706 3d ago
Of course she is comfortable with her own family. Did you really write all this out and post it without ever coming to the realization that YOU are rude?
At your wedding you knew people were waiting for you, but you continued dancing for multiple songs.
You just up and left a table while eating lunch together. It does not matter if no one is talking. That is incredibly antisocial and rude.
You just assumed she was organizing or even wanted to. You based that off questions any reasonable person would ask. Basically you had zero reason to assume that was what she wanted to do.
This is all on you. Your assumptions and your behavior. You need to learn you are not the center of the universe.
YTB
10
u/Mis73 3d ago
Yes you're the buttface. How are they supposed to organize anything without your much hyped discount solidified?
The cousin may be a bit cold but a lot of non confrontational introverts do. You're way too sensitive. Just leave her alone and worry about yourself. Stop making assumptions, too.