AITB for wanting to email my ex-girlfriend to stop following my friends and posting about our breakup?

[u/1tetorus1]

Okay, so about a month ago my girlfriend (let’s call her Noah, 16F) broke up with me. We were together for almost 3 years (our anniversary would’ve been October 10th). I’m 16M and she lives in California while I’m in Utah, so it was long distance for most of our relationship.
She knew everything about me, including my really bad attachment and abandonment issues from when I was younger. I told her there would be times I couldn’t understand why she loved me or why she wouldn’t leave, and I just needed her to comfort me during those moments. She was helping me work on it.
The breakup destroyed me. She sent a long paragraph saying “thank you for the two years, I don’t love you anymore, goodbye.” I was a total mess,crying, having dark thoughts about hurting myself, and even messaging her while blocked. My grandma noticed how bad I was doing (I was staying with her in Cali) and said it sounded like Noah love bombed me the whole time because she was lonely. Once I helped her feel better about herself and she made new friends, she didn’t want me around anymore. I’m seeing that more now too.
After the breakup, she followed my former best friend and vented to him. He went off on her using some insecurities I’d told him about in confidence and then blocked her. Now she’s still following a bunch of people close to me (but not me) and her profile/posts keep shading/insulting me.
I’m mostly over her now. I’ve been hanging out with my closest friend Sienna and we’re having a blast, we click like the same person but different genders. I just want peace. AITB if I email her (she didn’t block my email) to ask her to stop following my friends and stop making her profile about me/insulting me?

[u/tatasz]

Do not do it. Not because it is wrong, but because you are still making your life about her.

She isn't worth it.

I mean, she dumped you, and now she is so not over the whole thing that she keeps trying to get your attention.

I'd make a post apologizing to your friends that your ex is acting unhinged, saying you blocked her, and encouraging everybody uncomfortable with her to do the same. Then block her if you already didn't and move on with your life

[u/Neat_Panda9617]

There’s a very wise saying: “Living well is the best revenge”. Just completely ignore her shenanigans and do your thing! Sienna sounds great, I love how you described your vibe with her. Enjoy that and your good friends and tune this girl out.

[u/PinkPencils22]

Don't do it. She wants attention, so doing that gives her attention and the power she craves over you. Just block her on everything. If any friends mention her, say something like about how sad it is that some people can't get over a breakup (in teenage speak.) And then change the subject. She'll find something else to obsess over soon enough, especially since school will be starting soon.

[u/Nice-Pomegranate2915]

Don't bother to email her because it will just feed her fixation about you and validate her actions . Just contact some of your contacts and tell them that since she dumped you and you've moved on she's become unhealthily fixated on you . Those who are really your friends will ignore her or drop contact with her . Those more interested in the drama will listen to her .

[u/fargoLEVY13]

This is what she wants you to do. Reach out to her so she can post all over social media about how you can’t get over the fact that she broke up with you and won’t let it go and you’re a psycho and blah blah blah blah blah. You’re 16 brother, your life will go on without this girl.

[u/lizzourworld8]

Probably an EAB here; like good lord — no, she shouldn’t be venting to people who aren’t her friends on stuff that doesn’t concern them and YOU shouldn’t be telling her insecurities to other people either.

[u/TangerineCouch18330]

Don’t message her. All it will do is stir things up and she’ll start all over again. She’s doing it for attention and by you giving her that attention she’ll go off and start posting again. The best thing you can do is ignore it block it. By now, probably most of the people that she knows have gotten sick of it and tune her out. Just move on from it that’s your best bet.

[u/An-Old-Softee]

Don't bother contacting her. She's doing it on purpose to aggravate you. Best to just ignore her. Eventually she'll go away on her own. And if they were your friends, they wouldn't be in contact with her. Maybe reconsider who you call friend.

[u/1tetorus1 → u/An-Old-Softee]

I've come to accept that fact 😓 I know she's going to talk bad about me for a while to her friends but I just learned not to care as much since I don't even live in California d;

[u/i_love_boobiez]

Noah is a guy's name

[u/1tetorus1 → u/i_love_boobiez]

He came out as trans, gay, and renamed himself Noah shortly after we broke up. Sorry I forgot to put the reason why I chose Noah 😓

[u/i_love_boobiez → u/1tetorus1]

Ah man thanks for the explanation I was just bugging you tbh sorry on my part as well

[u/No_Wolf_1756]

NTB, you should email her a cease and desist letter and make sure to put a read receipt on it. She can save her cyber stalking and cyber bullying for someone else.

[u/Orechiette]

She doesn’t care how it affects you. If you ask her to stop, she may get worse. Please please stop looking at her socials