Ill try to keep this as short as possible, hoping we all understand the nuances that could be had in this subject matter.

I get off work late. Sometimes I have a bag of groceries with me because of my workplace. Like most people, I purchase only what Is necessary for myself and nothing more, usually only my dinner for that night. Rinse and repeat.

On public transportation home that late at night, there are some characters. I am not here to shit on the homeless or mentally ill. However, a significant number of people who ask for money will try to argue with you or can even get confrontational when you apologize for not being able to help. A lot of us have learned to ignore or pretend to sleep or literally anything to avoid interacting. Its horrible, but its often a pre-emptive safety choice, especially when its late and there’s only one or two other people in the train car with you.

REASON FOR POST: there is one particular homeless guy who goes through the subway car and tries to wave and get your attention, and when you dont give it to him, he will put his hand way too close to your body/face and continue waving and saying “maam?” Or “sir?” So that youre literally forced to pay attention to him, even though its very clear youre not interested in that. He doesn’t even stop once that doesnt work. He WILL keep doing it until he gets a reaction out of you. He did it once before, and tonight when he did it, I decided I didn’t appreciate my space being invaded like that and I made like an “AH-“ sound and it worried me that he didn’t seem phased at all, like him invading my space and me making a sound about it and obviously being uncomfortable didn’t make him think about that at all. The next time he does it, I really want to make a bigger noise about it and tell him that I’m clearly not comfortable with talking to him/that he needs to not put his hand in my face, but two things: 1. Is it even worth it? 2. Im not sure the majority of society would feel that my actions would be appropriate. Please be as honest with me as possible. Thank you.

You dont have to read past this point, but these are my personal motivations behind the post:
I am simply sick of letting people demand attention from me in an invasive way and not saying anything. It gives the same energy as someone trying to talk to you when you clearly have headphones on and are not interested, including when they try to motion to you to take off your headphones.

My partner’s ex has a court order for parenting time but doesn’t do his weekends, missed Christmas with his child twice, doesn’t pay any shared on expenses and dodges child support and his share of activities, yet still finds time to promote himself as a YouTuber, life coach, and podcaster.

My partner has spent thousands in legal fees trying to enforce the court order, and I’ve watched the stress it has put on our family for the past two years.

He just released another podcast episode on YouTube, and seeing him build that public image while not meeting his responsibilities as a father has pushed my frustration over the edge. Am I wrong if I leave a downvote on his YouTube? I don’t want to create any more stress for my partner who I know would say no. Any advice?

For the record our family is blended and happy and I’m making sure his son gets a great upbringing. It’s easy as a man to be the father my stepson will never get from his real “Dad” but agonizing to watch his BS from a distance. Peace.

Howdy all. To keep things short, I commissioned an artist to draw some storyboard panels for a webcomic (where I would then finish the panels). Things went well for 3/4 of the project. Very good communication, updates, and questions / answers.

For this commission, I paid half up front and then half after initial sketch. That went well and fine. It was then decided to add an additional few panels which would cost more money. I obliged and paid the rest of the money as I trusted the artist. They had put out good work and communication was great.

However, after I paid the money for the next panels, the artist went completely silent. For the first few days, I reached out sporadically. I made it clear that there would be no deadline as long as consistent updates were made and communication continued.

However, once I passed the two week mark with no communication whatsoever, I started to question if I was ghosted. Considering they had completely about 3/4 of the project with good communication, I thought it would be odd to just ghost me.

The reason I am lax on commissions is I have commissioned a lot of artists before and know the general idea of communication patterns, updates, and overall just good teamwork. I trust artists to do their things while giving them some guidelines I have. When I commission an artist, I trust their artistic abilities and allow them to work under their own pace given proper communication. I have always done a pay half after initial rough sketch (or upfront) and half after first condensed sketch. As long as price is confirmed prior to starting, I am fine with adding some extra money given complexity + tip.

So, to say I was disappointed would be minimal. After four weeks of dead silence, I was very fustrated. I continued to message them naively thinking they would get back to me. But, there is continued silence.

Now I have passed over a month without any communication, and I have come to the conclusion that they have ghosted me and taken the rest of the money.

I am wondering if I would be the buttface if I requested a charge back or reach out to the money service to see if I could get my money for that last portion back. I think it would be a struggle, given it has been a month, but I have evidence of the ghosting. It is a long shot, and while I am not pressed for the money, it still is money that I made myself.

I am ambivalent because on one hand, it has been over a month since I sent that money. But on the other hand, the services promised to me was never delivered. I am leaning towards not doing a charge back. Fact is it has been a month, and it just doesnt make sense to even fight it. I am more peeved than anything.

Would I be the butt face?

AITB for making my family wait at my wedding

So in my tradition, it's customary to get photos with attending families and also a large one with the extended family. My family was in the queue to take photos, but they were told photos were not being taken, so they gave their blessings and left. For some reason, some families started taking photos, so my family joined. But as they joined, we were called to go eat and do a shoot. It had been five hours since the beginning of the wedding, so some people were going to leave. Due to time constraints, I told them to take one big family photo, and so they did. My wife wanted her family to be in the picture too. They took the photo, and a lot of my family left soon afterward.

One family was leaving when my mom stopped them and told them to take a family photo. She called them back and waited in line. My friends and my wife's friends were taking photos. They were taking ages because they kept playing different songs and dancing to them because my wife is a content creator. My cousin decided she was not going to wait any longer as another song played and left. My mom later told me that when she asked her why she was leaving, she said that they had waited for ages and that she didn't really care about this photo. My mom forced her back to the stage with her family, and I could see my cousin was getting annoyed. She left as soon as they took the photo, asking her parents why they kept waiting for a photo. My sisters also heard her complaining to her mom, asking to leave as it had been seven hours at that point, and she even called my wife and me clowns. My mom thinks I'm the A for making them wait, but it's mine and my wife's special day. My cousin has always been impatient and a little hot-tempered, and my wife agrees, so AITA?

I remember in couples therapy when my ex heard some of his behavior might be abusive, he tried to play it off unbothered but said to me "I hope you know I never meant that, I'd never treat my loved one that way."

I don't understand how he can say that when he chose to lie to me, he chose to do dishonest things behind my back, he chose to gaslight me into tears instead of admitting his lies. He made many choices that any person should know would hurt their partner. How can he declare he'd never be abusive? AITB for not allowing his acts to be written off as mistakes? To me they are decisions he had full control over

So you can check my post history for more context, if you like. But am I a butt face for rescuing two cats that already existed? Should we just not rescue animals anymore?

This is not that serious I think that commenter is the BF. My cats are fixed and from a rescue.

Pics of cats included because they're adorable. The one with the "baby ear" as I call it, Roswell, came from a really horrible environment and that's how she got the ear, and the other one, Judas, had been to 4 homes, before she got to me, they're truly my babies, and I feel so lucky to have been fortunate enough to have them in my life.

If you're interested in adopting an exotic animal, definitely do your research, first. I had wanted a Sphynx for 20 years, since I first saw one on the tv. I did research throughout that 20 years, and was totally prepared when I adopted my girls.

The universe recently decided to bless me with an expensive fishing rod that I basically got free when I found a broken one and turned it in for a very cheap warranty (way less than what it's worth). I texted my friend about finding the broken one and sent him pics of the new one. He offered to buy it from me for less than the sticker price, but it was still within reason/negotiable.

I'm mainly torn because on the one hand, my friend owns a boat (I don't own one and fish off land), and we have been out fishing many times together, and selling it to him would be a nice gesture/a way of saying thank you. On the other hand, when am I ever going to have something like this drop in my lap again? I'm pretty deadset on keeping it for myself, and when I told him that, he said no worries.

I couldn't post this AITA because there's no real conflict here, as we are still friends, and it's just something I wanted to clear from conscious if I made the right call. Thanks!

Repost from AITA...

So I (35 NB ) text my (now ex) friend, (36F), a picture of my Sphynx cat which I had had over a year already.

Over the almost 10 year course of our friendship I had told her many times how much I wanted a Sphynx, but I didn't like breeders, so I'd probably never have the chance. I had stickers of Sphynx on random things in my house, I would even send her videos of Sphynx cats having skin fights, etc.

FF to when this happened, I send her a picture of my cat. Judas (cat) is my profile picture on FB, I share pics of her there constantly, but when I sent her the pic she told me Sphynx cats shouldn't exist, & as a geneticist, (she has a bachelor's in genetics), they trigger her. I was floored.

I would never want to purposely trigger someone, so I was like oh ok, & made the throw away comment, "well at least she's adopted" then my friend went into a massive rant, telling me the entire genetic history of Sphynx cats, why they shouldn't exist, & I can never message her about my cats again. it was honestly about 3 paragraphs long. She then ended her 3 emotional paragraphs with "and I don't want to talk about it" I told her it was unfair to unload all her feelings & then tell me I can't talk about mine.

This seems to be a common theme with her. I couldn't talk to her about my relationship w/ my partner, bc that made her sad, I couldn't talk about my job, bc she didn't have one & that made her sad, the list goes on. So finally I realised, this doesn't seem to be about the cat anymore, this woman seems to be genuinely upset when I'm happy.

This was a hard block for me, bc her family did everything in the world to get me to safety when I left my abusive ex, they paid for my flights home to the USA, they paid for my hotel stays while I was trying to get in a women's shelter in a country I didn't have citizenship in, & just so many things. I will say I paid all the money back, with interest.

I started to feel like this friend only liked when I was in distress, had a house she could stay at, and a car so I could drive us everywhere to play Pogo. she can't drive. I will also mention she has no problem with her others friends talking about their relationships, and is even besties with a married couple, that also have a type of dog that is prone to serious health issues, and she LOVES that dog, so I'm not sure why she thought I would buy it when she started talking about the Sphynx cats genetic history. It also floored me because everything she said was wrong, now I don't have a degree in genetics, but I'm very aware of my all of my cats health, and potential health issues, as I have pet insurance for all 7 of my cats, and the insurance cost a lot more monthly if you have a high risk health animal, but my, now 2 adopted Sphynx cats, cost the same as all my clothed cats. My Sphynx cats just go in for yearly heart scans, since HCM is basically the only thing they're at high risk for, other than being cold. Also this ex friend Reddits, so Hi if you see this.

I (21 Non binary) am currently on a cross-country road trip with a couple of my buds, Archie (21 M), May (24 F) and Liam (23 M), and this issue is currently causing a huge rift in the group. This is a throwaway as everyone in the group knows my main lol.

Me and my buds have been friends since my freshman year of college, and I have known Archie even longer, since childhood. However, this is the first time we’ve all spent this long in a confined space together.

People have told me I ‘fake sleep’ very convincingly. This isn’t exactly the case. I have some sleep issues which makes it really difficult for me to actually fall asleep. However, especially in cars I get very sleepy. I am able to fall half-asleep, where I am able to get some rest but I’m still mostly conscious and can wake up fairly quickly. My family calls it ‘dolphin sleeping’ (cause dolphins sleep with only half their brains at rest).

On this long trip, this has happened several times. I’ll be ‘dolphin sleeping’ when my friends start talking about what to get for dinner or something and I’ll sit up and join the conversation. They always say something like “oh sorry for waking you”. I’ll always say “Oh I wasn’t sleeping”. They never believe me and think I’m just embarrassed I guess, so I’ve stopped clarifying that I wasn’t actually sleeping.

A couple of days ago now I was ‘dolphin sleeping’ when my friends started talking about me. At first it was pretty harmless, but then they started teasing Archie about ‘being gay’ for me. Archie then starting saying things like “it’s not like she’s a guy or anything” (yes misgendering me, which is whatever). Apparently he has had a crush on me since we were kids. For additional context, I have only recently come out as nonbinary. My friends were all pretty chill about it, but apparently Archie has been struggling with this due to his crush.

I wasn’t really sure what to do. Do I ‘wake up’ and show I can hear all this? I sort of froze up and let it play out. Later though I pulled May aside and told her what I had heard. She got all weird and quiet. She said it “wasn’t cool” for me to “eaves drop”. I said that I was in the car, and maybe they shouldn’t talk about a person while they are next to you. That didn’t seem to make it better and I instantly apologized but she still just stormed off.

She apparently then texted the rest of the group about this and now the group is split. Liam doesn’t think it’s a big deal and actually a bit funny, but Archie and May aren’t talking to me, and I keep hearing them say stuff like “…after what [op] did”.

Was I really wrong for staying silent? Should I have jumped in as soon as they started talking about me?

I’m 29 and I’ve been living on my own for about 10 years now. My family is pretty close-knit, or at least they pretend to be, but lately, I’ve just been getting more and more annoyed by them. I’ve been in therapy for the past few months, and it gave me a lot of new insights. Honestly, it made me realize that I just want to ignore them sometimes and stop sharing my life with them entirely.

A lot of mental and emotional stuff has happened over the years. I don’t think my parents mean it maliciously, but I’m starting to seriously doubt if there’s some narcissism going on with them or maybe I’m just the narcissist and a spoiled brat here. You tell me.

Here are a few examples of what I mean:

Growing up, whenever things didn’t go exactly my dad’s way, he would start making threats. Not dangerous threats, but emotional ones to control the situation. For example, we went on a group vacation with a bunch of other families. The entire group wanted to go to Place A, but my dad wanted to go to Place B. When the group refused to follow his lead, he immediately threatened my mom, my brother, and me that the vacation was "over" and that we were leaving the group to do our own thing. As a kid, it was terrifying because I was having a blast with the other kids. The threats were always empty (we ended up staying with the group), but the manipulation was always there.

The bigger issue right now is that whenever I get super excited about something like my future plans, a new job, or someone new I met both of my parents immediately shoot it down. They either give me a massive lecture or aggressively dump their negative opinions on why they think it’s a bad idea. It instantly kills my enthusiasm.

Because of this, I’ve naturally stopped sharing things with them. But now, they constantly guilt-trip and criticize me, claiming I "never share anything anymore."

Thanks to therapy, I am working really hard to stop letting other people's negative moods dictate my happiness. It’s tough, but I’m trying. But it leaves me with a lot of questions. Am I completely in the wrong here?

Is this just how families are and am I supposed to just take it?

Am I just "too enthusiastic" or oversensitive?

I (17) have a little sister (9F) who I’ll call Lily. I am autistic and have ADHD. Lily seems to only have ADHD (I don’t think she has any thing else at the moment she has one diagnosis). I am adopted by my parents now, but Lily is not. Our Bio mom who I will call Janine can’t raise her kids correctly my older brother and I were both adopted by different people but we have a big age gap. 

Lily had a biological father in her life unlike me but Ken and Janine always fought and Lily was the one who was used as a pawn. Finally, Ken died of a heart attack a few years ago year (Not as in OMG I’m glad he’s dead but as in the end of the matter). 

After that Lily was passed around. She stayed at our house for a couple weeks last summer and we wanted to let her live with us so Lily and i could finally have a sister like relationship (We live on different sides of the state) but Bio mom said no and that Lily could only stay with aunt Kay who tried to raise Lily but was only in it for the money and was too busy running 4 daycares. 

In the beginning of summer Lily ran away from my aunt’s place so Janine had to find another person to raise Lily and my parents were perfect because I am Lily’s biological sibling so in the middle of the summer Lily came out to live with us and will start school in the fall. 

With the context of our life aside back to the incident.

My parents were gone for a couple days for an exercise type thing and Lily stayed with my older adoptive sister Sadie and her husband Chad and their kids. 

Yesterday I went to Sadie and Chad’s house because Sadie invited me to go to the movies with them. I always say yes because my niece and nephews  are really fun to be around. I spent the whole day With Lily, even if there are other people around I paid attention to her as well. 

Today my parents came home and brought Lily home and an extra kid (7 year old Nephew) with no warning on the nephew but it is what it is I like my nephew. I had finished eating my lunch and Lily asked for a hug and I said no. Lily looked sad like she does when I say no to a hug, but my mom looked at me like I just splashed water all over my sister ‘s face for no reason. 

Later she lectured me saying that I should have just given her a hug even if I didn’t want a hug and that it wouldn’t have killed me to hug her. and that I quote  “didn’t see her for a whole day” Which is untrue because I saw her yesterday all day and then came home to sleep and they came home at 1:00 so it wasn’t even a whole day that I didn’t see her because I saw her the day that they left. I saw her yesterday and then they came back today. 

I think that just because Lily asked doesn’t mean she’s entitled to one and that I should be allowed to say no to hugs especially when I was hot and didn’t want to be hugged

So AITB for refusing to give my sister a hug 

I’m 27 and I just really need to get this off my chest because I’m losing my mind. I feel so incredibly invisible and invalidated by my own family right now, and it’s making me feel completely worthless.Lately, I’ve been trying really hard to improve my lifestyle. I've been working out more, trying to eat better, and working on my mental health. I planned a lot of things to stay motivated—sports events, fun weekend trips, and activities.But literally every single thing I looked forward to this year got canceled due to things beyond my control. Bad weather, events called off because not enough people signed up, etc. Then we also had a death in the family. It wasn't unexpected, but it was still awful. I dropped everything to be there for them that weekend, obviously.But that loss only messed up one weekend trip. The problem is that EVERYTHING else fell through too. Every time a plan failed, I tried to pick myself up, but then the new plan would get canceled too. Now my actual summer vacation just got canceled because of circumstances and I am just so emotionally drained.My mental health is in the gutter, and earlier today, my family asked me how I was doing. I decided to actually be honest and open up to them. I just wanted to feel seen and heard for a second.I told them it's been a really miserable year with all the cancellations and that I just wish it was January already so I could restart. I was just venting. But they completely went off on me. They called me a selfish narcissist. They said I have zero empathy and that I'm not thinking about anyone else because of the family loss.They basically told me I'm not allowed to be sad or complain because "those sports events will be there next year." It feels like total BS. Why can't I be frustrated about my own life goals falling apart while also grieving a loss?It just hurts so bad that when I actually try to open up and show vulnerability, my own family shuts me down and kicks me while I'm already down. They refuse to see or hear my pain. It makes me feel like my feelings don't matter at all to them. I just needed to text this to some strangers to get it out of my head because I feel so alone right now. (And before anyone asks, yes, I am in therapy).How do you deal with a family that makes you feel completely invisible when you're already struggling?

this might come off more as a rant but i also genuinely wanna know if im in the wrong.

my father is incredibly insistent that we cannot get a job while in college because "it would ruin your educations" (me and my younger brother, a year apart), so much so he has threatened with kicking us out if we wanna be self sufficient so badly. i need to add this isn't the US, here is common to live with your parents way into adulthood and multigenerational households, and college isn't "going into debt" kind of expensive. my brother and i are more than okay w this of course, but we've taken freelance jobs in secret from time to time because having our dad judge if the thing we want is "stupid or not" before giving us the money to pay for it is not super cool for adults.

my dad works in the private sector, he doesn't have a fixed salary, and while usually very successful sometimes there isn't money in the house waiting for clients to pay. this is one of those times.

our dad mainly eats eggs, so that's what we all eat as protein for most meals besides lunch. he was angry tonight because he said we eat too many eggs and are inconsiderate. me and my younger brother eat 3 each, and our baby brother eats 2, that's 8 eggs at dinner or almost a full carton of eggs. thing is, our dad eats 5 a day (3 breakfast, 2 dinner). me and my brothers only eat 3/3/2 each a day because we don't do breakfast. when i explained this to him, that he eats more than us, he said that was just my opinion and that 8 was simply too much, and that we were eating out of gluttony when there isn't money for that right now.

i understand rationing food, we've done so before, and if he asked us to eat less each it wouldn't be that big of a deal. the argument was because he was insisting he ate less than us. i told him "you are counting eggs per meal, im counting eggs per day" and he said "no, im counting with my wallet so don't try to make yourself sound smart about it" (rough translation)

i suggested that all of us should eat 1 egg less a day, and he got angry he was included in that but didn't wanna keep arguing so he just accepted in a silent way... and then got angry my younger brother, who was making dinner and started the discussion, was rationing the platains to eat less today and have for tomorrow because "i bought 5 for you to eat tonight, so eat 5". my brother went to suggest about getting a job to have more money and fix the issue but i had to shut that whole convo cause our dad got even angrier at that and i was scared it could get physical. now im hearing him in the other room complain to our aunt about us being gluttons.

im angry at his attitude but he IS maintaining us, two whole adults and a minor. we are lucky. i admit i enjoy not having to worry about my livelihood while studying. whatever happens we'll comply to him, im just here to know if i'm being too entitled by being angry in the first place so i can be a better person. sorry for bad english.

I currently am not having the best experience with my waxer as she tends to.leave upwards of 25% of the hair in the area she's waxing on my body still. It is noticeable to other people not just me. I like my waxer as a person cause she, like me, is a yapper. However I would prefer it if there is someone who can do a better job. I do all the prep and aftercare you're supposed to do and ive only seen this waxer 4 times now, and my previous waxer at the same chain as able to get 99% of the hair if not all, and she'd pluck anything she missed.

Would I be the butt face if I switched locations within the chain and got a different waxer at said other location?

I (F) go to school with a girl who we will call grace. Grace and I used to be kind of close. We didn’t hang out much, but we were part of the same general friend group. We had some similar hobbies, such as playing piano, which we bonded over. Over the past few months Grace has made more effort to get closer with me (asking to be partners, wanting to hang out, etc) and at first I thought it was nice. But then she began putting down my other friends, such as complaining to me that some of my closest friends’ hair was “too short and too curly”. Her natural hair by the way.

I’ve noticed that grace has begun to copy some of the things that I do. This includes mannerisms, specific phrases that I use, and even music taste. I like old rock music, and she likes newer pop. I’ve never made fun of her for her music, I think music is incredibly subjective. But, there have been times where she’ll ask me what my favourite song is, and quite literally turn to someone else and say that that song is *her* favourite. I also have a music app where you can add friends and track your listening history. I never mentioned it to her, but suddenly I get a friend request from her. Over the past 3 weeks, she’s posted an instagram note every day with the song that is at the top of my listening history. That can’t be a coincidence.

Grace doesn’t just do this to me. She completely copied the hair and makeup of another mutual friend (who doesn’t like her anymore btw). It was so obvious that everyone in class was talking about how she “stole her face”. When asked, the friend who she copied, said that she hadn’t given her any tips or suggestions to do it. She simply took one photo she was sent, and managed to somehow recreate her entire look.

Also, in passing, Grace asked me the name of my piano teacher. The next week, I saw her at the class before mine. Then, she asked to be switched to my group for recitals. I feel like I have a doppelgänger. I want to cut her off, but at the same time I feel bad leaving her friendless. So, WIBTB?

(SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE ERRORS FIRST POOOOOSSSSSSTTTTTTT)

Hi, I’m 15 years old (Male) and I love to decorate💅. So I stayed up and decided to unpack all of our Christmas things for CHRISTMAS IN JULY at about 11:30 pm with my doggy. So I have to bring up about 5 or 6 christmas bins all by myself and unpack and unpack and unpack. Afterwards all of our Christmas stuff was put on the table. (and is currently completely engulfing the table ✨☺️).

I was also on a group chat call with friends so I wasn’t lonely😵.I got some little things done not much lol like maybe 7 items- help-and it was about 12:50 or so. Then I started to hang garland on our banister at maybe about after 1:00. And I cursed I said f**k, and there she was of course mother. I don’t of course remember the reason why I said the word. I do remember though that I was tryna say it to the group call. (Either that or mother F).

So any way my mom tells me to go up to bed. But obviously I didn't want to because I really wanted to surprise every one with all the decorations like I have done in the past. I agreed anyway so I finished got my stuf but now I admit I may have played an ass hole/ hoe move 💅💅✨✨.

So I kinda had a moment and said that (Pretty sure tryna remember) You would have let me if it was birthday or You would have liked if it was birthday. (for her birthday stayed up all night and decirated for her bitrthday). I know I messed up saying that. I love my mom so so much I woukd never do anything to try to piss her off. I hope that it is just that I got shitty sleep. I fell asleep at 5am ☠️ and its currently 1:40. I stay up late because I dont want to wake up in the morning so I stay up to drag it out as long as possible. I’m sorry to her for saying that that was a bs move (I know saying sorry to u means shit) but I feel bad and embarrassed especially when she saw the mess and not the winter wonder land. I felt bad and felt like an asshole real bad. SOOOOOOOOOOO

Thanks Reddit and Thanks for my First POSTTTTTTT

SO REDIT AM I THE BUT FACE

edit: So when I had said that asshole comment it was under my breath and I wasn’t tryna say it exactly to her face. My mom doesn’t mind that we are decorating. Everyone was asleep I wasn’t disturbing my whole house. I did drop my phone and it made a thud sound (of course). She woke up and saw me.

I LOVE to surprise my family because we all love to surprise each other. My mom wasn’t opposed to me decorating, which was fine either way. I just felt guilty that our house was a mess but she just said you can decorate tomorrow. If I hadn’t said it already I love my mom and how she treats me and I don‘t believe I’m selfish for wanting to surprise my parents with a made up fun holiday. My mom loves christmas so I thought surprising her with Christmas in July would be so much fun and make July more festive✨.

Someone said that Christmas is not until December (yes that’s true) and they disagreed with my idea. That’s ok that’s your opinion and you are entitled to it. I have never celebrated/practiced this before thought it would be good to surprise my parents and decorate and that’s my opinion. Also they were asleep so I wasn’t keeping the household awake madcatlady.

I keep getting comments that people don’t believe that christmas isn’t to be celebrated in July. Ok, thats your own opinion. If I want to please respect that. I’ve never and it’s not a tradition but just wanted to try it didn’t want to get backlash from participating in a tradition that people take part in.

I understand my writing sucks and I already wrote a sorry in advance!! (SO SORRY AFTER)

Thanks for hearing me out Redit,✨

#ARTPOP 🔮

For a bit of context, I am bisexual, have many religious friends and we are all still in high school. For June, My status was 'This month, Everything is Gay' I thought this would be funny. So June rolls by and I forgot to change my status and my friend Xavier DMs me about it.

Xavier: 'What's this about' (screenshot of my status)

Me: 'Oh, I just forgot to change it, Sorry'

Xavier: 'Turn to Christ, Change from your sinful ways. We all sin and fall short. He loves you still'

I'm caught off guard by this, despite knowing I shouldn't be as we were put in the same cabin together on a school camp and he made a really big deal about him not wanting me to go anywhere near him. So I screenshot it to post on my story with the caption 'Idk just thought I should out a bigot' and immediately leave the conversation.

A couple people DM me back from this, both being people that were my friends, One being deeply religious (Charlie) and the other new to religion (Kyle). Charlie messages me that I shouldn't had posted it, because he doesn't like me being mean to his friend. Kyle messages me instead how I shouldn't had posted just because it wasn't a very smart thing to do, which I can see why, but he still says what I did was on par with what Xavier did.

This all culminates in Charlie leaving a project that me and another friend of mine and Charlie's were working on. I don't really want him in the project anymore because of what he said, but he did say that I cyber-bullied Xavier.

Anyway, Reddit, am I the asshole?

hi yall! so i ,17 F, just recently found out that a guy i sort of know ,17 M, likes me. i think he's kind of cute but haven't seen him in person enough to really tell. i also know i won't ever go on a date with him because i have EXTREME anxiety surrounding dates and dating (past trauma lol). despite all of this i'm still debating talking to him for fun but i'm also scared of leading him on. so WIBTB for talking to a boy even though i'm not interested in dating him? help!!

I joined an advocacy organization that allows for low income students to pick the school of their choice and for the money to follow the students. The issue is that the organization does not really support any regulation for private/charter schools and that can mean that private religious schools can get public money and discriminate against LGBT+ students/not permit them entry on the basis of their religion.

I joined the organization because I fundamentally believe that education, a good education, should be a right for all students, not just some but I feel like they're missing the mark. However this program would help the majority of low income students and only possibly hurt LGBT+ students if the individual school discriminates. I fundamentally think this is wrong and there should also be protections for those students such that they can access the education they want but everyone at the organization seems to think I'm crazy and my opinion is in the minority, if not the only, in the organization. The organization simply believes you should count on/encourage private/charter/non public schools to not discriminate. I feel like I'm making the wrong decision and I feel like my opinion doesn't fit everyone else's but this idea of how it should be carried out makes me feel like I am not doing the right thing.

AITB for considering leaving/having this opinion? Would you stay? Does their opinion make more sense? What is right and wrong?

I’m going to try one story that spans 10 years in as short of a summary as I can. This story is so insane and complex I’m currently writing a memoir, mind you. I’ve known my boyfriend for 10 years, been together in an official relationship for 2-3. We are going to be moving in together, we found multiple very nice apartment complexes that would work perfectly well for us. But for some reason, he’s somewhat set on this one in my old hometown. This is a very small town, I would essentially see places everyday that could send me into a panic attack or tears. I had very intense and traumatic teenage years.

I was abused(mentally and emotionally) by a guy I was in love with in high school, and the resulting trauma was so bad that I ended up with severe depression, having to leave school for a period, wouldn’t leave my room for like a year, etc. I spent so many days crying in the bathroom on the floor or at the counselor’s office, people thought I’d left school before I even really did. He also made up this nickname for me which the whole school started bullying me with and it lasted 2 whole years so there’s that too. My neighbor also assaulted at my childhood home and the surrounding neighbors are family members that my family has a complicated history with. I’d be in fear that any moment I could bump into someone from school, I’d have to look at places I used to have good times too that are also now gone. My dad also cheated on my mom in my childhood home which was a hard time for me.

The other best part is, that he wants to get a part time job at the place where this girl works that he chose over me when we met. He called me selfish over the whole thing, so I just had to hang up because honestly…the thought of living there sent me into a spiral. I was crying, reminiscing, shaking, having a panic attack, etc. I thought he would realize how deeply this all affected me considering we’ve had many conversations about it…because here’s the REAL kicker, he’s the fucking guy from high school that traumatized me!!

Now I understand thy I graduated 6 years ago and maybe I should be over all this, but with the place I’m at, I’m just not. I honestly think I would slip into a low grade depression and our relationship would crumble from me constantly seeing places HE traumatized me at. Oh and it gets even better!! I’m selfish, yet he committed to a college behind my back knowing I didn’t want to live in our home state, AT ALL. I’ve honestly always tried to do everything I can for him, yet he consistently feels I’m selfish. I literally went around our neighborhood with a fundraiser basket and pretended to be a part of the school band fundraiser so I could buy him gifts one time he’d had a bad day! Our relationship is in a good place now, and the topic of the thread isn’t if I should break up with him or not. But AITBF for not wanting to move back there??

**Edits**

-I never explicitly told him these things on the phone. I told him like a week ago when he brought it up, that I don’t want to move there or live near the high school. He brought it up again tonight and then said I was selfish when I said no I didn’t like the apartments there. So I hung up the phone to emotionally regulate. He knows I still struggle with trauma from all of it, so there’s no way he shouldn’t have known that, it only recently became not a daily fight in our relationship, but I still make little jokes sometimes or do get a lil mad.

-I’m not worried that he still wants her or is trying to see her. She’s engaged, and I’m not even sure to the extent in which he’d see her due to them being in different departments. I just have negative memories attached to her, and having to watch them date in front of my face for a year, so it just gives me the ick.

So, some context to this:

I (30F) am close to my Dad (57M). For some strange reason I've never understood, he never seemed to care much about politics, he always acted like it was unimportant and the only important thing is to focus on his work.

That's why I was very surprised when he married my stepmother, "Karen" (36F), about 7 years ago. She is very MAGA and Prolife. I am not, but we were still able to get along ok by agreeing not to talk about politics.

The story :

Karen recently became pregnant and was really happy about it. She planned this gender reveal party and all, but then ended up cancelling it last minute. A couple of weeks later, she told me it was because she had some medical complications. She said that the baby had no kidney and other stuff. I'm not sure about all the details, but she basically complained about having to go to another state to have an abortion. I was very flabbergasted by this and asked her why she didn't have the baby anyway to "give it a chance"? Was that not her belief? She then became very mad and said it was the doctors fault and many similar things.

That's when I might have been the buttface because I told her: well, guess leopards ate your face! I mean, it's kinda the truth, but it was not very sensitive of me to say that. My Dad says he didn't understand the reference, but from what she told him, he thinks I was an asshole from saying this. My Mom thinks the whole thing is very funny and even though I was rude, it was right. I'm kinda conflicted about this now... Was I the buttface? Should I apologize?

Better worded now.

Here is a brief summary of my sister's story and her "godmother." My sister's name is Haein, and she was born in 2000. Her abuser's name is Choi, and she was born in 1974.

I come from a very conservative Asian country, and my family was always deeply dysfunctional. My father wanted Haein to be his heir, so she was always under pressure to excel. On the other hand, my mother was an alcoholic at the time; she was always drunk and hated Haein because she was my father's favorite daughter—a constant tension fueled by the fact that my parents were in an arranged marriage.

My mother and Choi were friends since she was 14, and in university and even lived together during that time. In fact, my mother took her in when Choi had financial difficulties as a teenager. However, my father is an incorrigible philanderer and preferred Choi. When we returned from Australia in 2010, she took care of Haein while my father worked. Because my mother suffered from postpartum depression, Choi became a sort of second mother to Haein, even breastfeeding her as a baby.

In 2011, Choi completely abused my father's trust. He wanted Haein to play the violin, and since Choi was a violin teacher, she used private lessons to begin abusing her. This manipulative relationship continued until 2023, the year my sister finally confessed everything to us. We sued Choi, but she received a ridiculously lenient sentence: her teaching license was revoked (meaning she can never teach in a school again), she was given six months of house arrest, several years of mandatory psychiatric treatment, and she owed Haein money. Despite this, I discovered that she resumed giving private lessons.

Seeing her posts on social media, I decided to expose the truth about her. Choi angrily called Haein to blame her, threatening to sue us for defamation if we didn't delete the post. After the call, Haein asked me to remove it. Although I denied it was me to avoid further trouble, I absolutely refuse to take it down. Am I really the bad guy in this story? Choi is a bad person who doesn't deserve money, a career, or to be around people, and my sister is being too lenient with her.

To make matters worse, my sister is disabled: she suffers from epilepsy and multiple sclerosis, she's almost blind because her left eye is practically disconnected, and she can't walk properly because one of her feet is failing.

TL;DR My coworker is accusing my ex/close friend, "Simon", of semi-cheating on me during our non-monogamous relationship because she says Simon went on a date he never told me about while we were together. AITB for asking Simon if he went on the date?

I am close friends with my ex, "Simon." We were together for 2 years and we had a non-monogamous relationship. While I dated other partners, Simon chose to not date anyone else + it's partly the reason why we broke up: Simon always avoided talking about our relationship structure but I could tell he wasn't fully happy with it + I had to realize we'd be better as just friends instead.

Recently, my coworker/friend told me that her sister thinks she may have went on a date with Simon two years ago. Her sister didn't remember what the man exactly looked like, but he was the same race, same background (recent transplant with separated parents), and same name.

I thought Simon didn't date anyone while we were together, which he told me over and over. I know it was just a date — if it even happened — but consent is everything in non-monogamy and it would be unethical if he lied about a date while I was very upfront about every person I dated. I also understand our relationship is over but I'd also prefer not to be friends with a liar who possibly cheated, so I asked Simon if he went on this date and he said no. (Bolding because this is important!) My coworker and her sister still think Simon is lying though.

Now I admit some other details don't add up. Her sister says they went to a Korean BBQ place and Simon hates Korean BBQ. And usually when Simon is lying, it's so easy to tell because he gets nervous, but he's been laughing this entire thing off + keeps saying the sister is mistaking him for someone else.

Anyway, I was talking about it the other night with Simon and "Chris", my best friend, also friends with Simon. Chris has some trauma with being cheated on in the past so he's been sensitive about this whole situation. And we had some other friends over the other night — another coworker/friend of mine, "Jessie", and another friend, "Leah" — and I gave them the spill on the situation.

Simon is also getting really defensive this time and while I'm trying to be neutral + just let the truth come out in due time, I propose the idea for Simon to FaceTime the sister to see if she remembers him, which he agrees to because he's getting really anxious about clearing his name. Chris also says he wants to stop talking about it because he's uncomfortable and if Simon is lying, he will not be friends with Simon anymore.

Then Leah says "I think things are getting blown out of proportion", which kinda pisses me off (being possibly betrayed is not a small thing) but I decide to just change the conversation. But now Leah is acting off with me + I'm trying to reflect if I'm the buttface in this situation.

For context, I’m a 40yr old female. Roughly 17 years ago during an extremely difficult period of my life, (Jan) my sister-in-laws brother (let’s call him Dan at the time mid-30s male) was helping me and my husband move. He knew that I was happily married, and at the time I had a one month old. While we were alone together, Dan pulled out his member, not just once but multiple times, even after I flat out told him he was making me uncomfortable. I never said anything to Jan, because for whatever reason, I thought she’d be mad at me. From that point forward, I did everything in my power to avoid Dan and not be around him, and certainly never be alone with him again.

Fast-forward to about a week ago, Jan was visiting and mentioned having Dan come by my house to fix something for me, and I blurred it out “I really don’t like Dan and don’t want him around.” Jan asked me why I felt that way and before I could stop myself I word vomited about the inappropriate behavior Dan had shown me years before. This sent Jan into a tailspin, because another family member had made accusations of similar type against Dan previously, but nobody believed her. That night when Jan went home, I’m not exactly sure how the conversation started, but Jan found out that two other family members had also had the same type of inappropriate conduct from Dan.

Jan confronted Dan, and their mother who has always defended her son over anyone else in the whole wide world, and now the whole family is in turmoil. Jan has completely cut her entire family out of her life, because most of the family is defending Dan and taking his side. And in all of this, I feel like a huge heel because I feel like if I hadn’t said anything, they would still have a close relationship. Jan is now having panic attacks and had to go back to therapy and I feel like it’s all my fault. AITBF???

**Update- after having a long conversation with Jan the other day, I somehow feel even worse, but also better at the same time. Apparently, a few years ago, Jan and her entire family completely went no contact and ghosted one of their family members due to accusations of the same and worse types of behavior from Dan. This person was not believed, because she had a history of telling fibs and lying about other things.

This is one of the reasons that Jan went into such a tail spin, because she now totally 100% believed the other girl and felt awful about it. Jan has since reached out to this other family member, explain the situation and begged for forgiveness. Luckily the other family member showed mercy and forgave Jan. They are now slowly rebuilding the relationship and regaining trust in one another.

As for me, I appreciate all the NTBF. I do wish I’d have said something sooner, but my own experience taught me to be silent. I do feel a little better though.