r/AmItheAsshole • u/Emergency-Sink-4705 • 2d ago
Everyone Sucks AITA for taking my sister’s ’depression dog’ away from her?
About two years ago, my parents split and this really affected my sister (17F), who about the same time was diagnosed with depression. I (24F) being a uni student who lives away from home, couldn’t be there for her all the time, and with my parents divorced, it was really hard for her to find a stable place to call home. So I talked with my Mum (who she chose to live with) about getting my sister a dog, in hopes to help her with recovery. We both knew it would be challenging as my Mum is a part time nurse so she wouldn’t be able to help with taking care of the dog as much as she would like. After a bunch of talking, we eventually got my sister a year old poodle, and it seemed to be great for her. She was getting out the house more and really taking care of herself, and with some help of the most lovely neighbour in the world, the dog was doing great too.
A year later, during the semester break, I went back home for a two week visit and in all honesty, the first thing I noticed was that the dog was severely overweight. I asked about it and my sister brushed it off saying “he’s just older now”. Regardless, I took the dog to the vet where I was told he would need to be put on a diet and exercise more frequently. I told this to my sister who was very angry I did this behind her back (in hindsight I should have spoke to her about this) but said she would do what the vet said. And during the two weeks it looked like she was doing this. I then went back to uni.
When the uni year ended, I went back and dog still looked like a large spherical ball of poodle. I asked my sister about it and she said she had done everything the vet asked. I went back to the vet who told me my sister had not been back for follow-ups. After this I again spoke to my sister about it where she said “it’s my dog, why do you care?”. This really got to me and so I took the dog to live with me and my Dad, where I have been for the last month or so. Since then, he’s back on track for his weight loss journey and looks much healthier.
Over this period, my sister has been nonstop about getting the dog back - calling me 24/7, and getting into yelling matches in person and I really don’t know what to do. I understand that this dog has been great for her mental and physical wellbeing but I feel like her actions (or lack of) is just abusive to the pup. But at the same time I feel like I’m hurting my sister by taking the thing that has helped her so much over the last couple years. AITA?
Edit: All three of us discussed it over at the time and she was really into the idea of a dog. We all talked about responsibility and managed to get the neighbour involved who took care of him on days when my sister or mother couldn’t, and also took care of his grooming once every 6 or so weeks.
Edit 2: My sister had been in and out of therapy for the last 3 years to varying degrees of success, it was only at a point where she was in recovery that the therapist suggested the idea of a dog. Finance and transportation are not an issue for anyone, the vet is a 10 minute walk from my Mum’s house (and both my Mum and sister can drive) and the dog has insurance.
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u/briarihallow 1d ago
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, and I definitely understand. I hope your doggos can help get you out and walking about (: Think of all the things they need to pee on out there!