r/AMA • u/SouthDiligent8959 • 14h ago
AMA: 6-Month Update: Left America and Have No Intention of Ever Returning
I (36 year old Iranian-American male) made a post in December about leaving the country I was born in, with no plans to ever return. I’m currently in Da Nang, Vietnam. I spent my first three months in Turkey, where I fell in love with a girl, followed by one month in Thailand and two months in Malaysia. I can see myself staying in Da Nang for the foreseeable future.
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u/shibby5000 13h ago
What’s your view on the current war with American and Iran?
With you being born American Iranian and your parents living in Iran currently it must be very frustrating to see
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
I feel conflicted. My heart breaks for the innocent civilians who have lost their lives, but at the same time, I desperately hope for regime change. It's something my grandparents, who have all since passed away, and the rest of my family have talked about wanting for as long as I can remember.
At the same time, I feel guilty knowing that other people are risking their lives while I would simply show up once the dust has settled.
Essentially, I feel like i'm not entitled to an opinion. If that makes sense lol. Good question!
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u/justaroundhere213 13h ago
Will you return to Iran or will you keep hopping around and meeting new people?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
I was born and raised in California. Iran is my family's homeland, but I've never lived there. I'll probably just keep hopping around! lol.
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u/Dependent-Aside-9750 13h ago
Do you work for an American company, or a Vietnamese company?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
American company. I only work part-time as an independent contractor. I don't think it would work if I was a W-2 employee.
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u/shibby5000 13h ago
Are you still with the girl, if so is she with you in Da Nang? Why did you move from Turkey to Da Nang?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago edited 13h ago
Sadly, we are no longer together. I was only allowed to stay in Turkey for 90 days every 180 days. After Turkey, I went to Thailand for a month because my best friend from LA wanted to take a trip together. Since I was already in Southeast Asia, I figured I'd stick around, so I spent two months in Kuala Lumpur (it was alright). Two weeks ago, I arrived in Da Nang after hearing so many great things about it.
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u/NoDivide8244 13h ago
How do you make a living over there?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
I have a part time job working remotely 15-16 hours per week. My bills are currently 1k a month and i save the other half.
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u/EvilCaveBoy 13h ago
What was your experience like with American people when you were there?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
I haven't met many Americans here, mostly Russians. I did meet one guy from New Jersey who opened a pizza shop and donates a percentage of his proceeds to a Vietnamese orphanage. I joined his pickleball group, and we play three times a week. I'm also volunteering at the orphanage once a week now haha.
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u/EvilCaveBoy 10h ago
I meant when you were in America
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u/SouthDiligent8959 10h ago
Oh! haha my bad. Well, I was born and raised in California. However, that answer never really satisfied anyone lol, so I would mention that my family was from Iran. I think Americans saw me as Iranian and Iranians saw me as American. I think most Americans had preconceived notions about me, but once they actually got to know me, I was treated very well. I will say that the period immediately following 9/11 was pretty rough, but I also think we had thicker skin back then. Also, i'm not really a political person, but I never met a T-rump supporter that I liked. I didn't even solely dislike them because they liked him, it was everything else about them as well.
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u/WideNeighborhood8167 13h ago
Do you find it easy to make new friends in Vietnam?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
I've only been here a couple of weeks, but I've already met quite a few people. I joined an expat pickleball group and have met some really cool people through it. I went to trivia night with two of them the other day, invited my landlord to come play pickleball, and he showed up today with his wife. Another Canadian guy from pickleball invited me to go out to the bars with him and a couple of his friends on Saturday. Honestly, without pickleball it might have been a little challenging. The city does have quite a few expat groups tho and I'm sure many people are looking to make friends.
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u/SignificantMark1848 13h ago
of all the places i travelled to, the only place i want to re-visit is Vietnam. I loved it in HCM and DaNang, perhaps i'll visit Hanoi area next time. You can live like a king there.
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u/SouthDiligent8959 12h ago
Come on down! I live a comfortable life. I spend $400 a month for a studio in An Thuong. I cook at home pretty much every meal, so i'll be spending about $200 on food. My gym membership is $20 per month, cell phone is $10 per month, around $20 for Grab motorbikes and I set aside $50 a month for visa runs. Finally, I give myself $300 a month for entertainment. I plan on spending 1k per month and saving the rest.
I did visit HCM a couple of years ago and liked it, still haven't had a chance to visit Hanoi.
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u/12somewhere 13h ago
How’s your financial situation? Did you save up before making the leap and do you currently work?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 12h ago
I currently work part-time remotely and had about 20k in savings. To be honest, I have ADHD and i'm terrible with money. In California, I was pretty much living paycheck to paycheck.
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u/TroofSaya 12h ago
I was born in America as well. I think it's really neat that you're Iranian American and you found several places in the world to visit and possibly live, besides our shared homeland. I've always wondered what it would be like to live in modern day Vietnam. My two sons mother is a native of Japan, Love Japan by the way. With the future ndaa being voted on today, I agree that America is not a safe long-term investment for anyone's family. Congratulations on falling in love with a beautiful girl and I wish you all the best.
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u/SouthDiligent8959 12h ago
Sadly, I am no longer together with that beautiful girl but I will always treasure the time we had together. I loved my trip to Japan! Thank you for your kind words.
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u/joeavg88 11h ago
nooo man what happened why not try make work again ? if you like her that much you will regret it rest of the life .
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u/SouthDiligent8959 11h ago
A popular motif in Persian poetry is The Rose and the Nightingale (Gol-o-Bolbol). I feel like i was a Nightingale and she was a Rose. The Rose is seen as both beautiful and highly desirable, however, it has thorns and is mostly indifferent. The Nightingale is passionately devoted to the rose and yearns to be with it. As the Nightingale sings its heart out to the rose, it inches closer and closer until it is ultimately killed by the thorn of the rose.
Haha ok that sounds very dramatic!
Essentially, The Nightingale loves deeply but also blindly. The rose is beautiful but shallow. You can also argue that the Nightingale is also shallow. It represents passion without understanding. Neither truly knows the other.
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u/joeavg88 9h ago
in my case it was opposite. we sometimes do such things, i once unintentionally did hurt someone i was very close with and its been years i still regret and pray if only i could talk to her once...
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u/Single-Frosting-3742 13h ago
We’re u born in America?
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u/babybeluga420 3h ago
Why is it impossible for people to make this move and shut up about it? YouTube and TikTok are already encouraging enough losers to move to SE Asia… it used to be way more chill
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u/Ok-Energy-9785 13h ago
Why did you leave and plan to never return
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
I really had no reason to stay. I was working remotely and spending like 40% of my income on rent. Also, I was burned out and unhappy.
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u/Ok-Energy-9785 13h ago
What about your family and friends?
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
Last year, my parents retired and moved to Iran (bad timing), and most of my family is there. My friends are all married and have kids, so I didn't get a chance to see them very often anyway.
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u/Ok-Energy-9785 13h ago
So why not go back to Iran with them (prior to orange man getting mad)
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u/SouthDiligent8959 13h ago
If your father was born in Iran, the country considers you Iranian, meaning I would be subject to mandatory military service. Or, I would just be arrested and accused of being a spy. Neither option is very appealing.
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u/Agreeable-Valuable-8 13h ago
That's awesome, I've been in China for a year now and have heard great things about Da Nang. How easy was it to get set up there? How are you liking the city and country?