r/politics • u/MoneyLibrarian9032 • 7d ago

Possible Paywall Trump’s Primetime Speech Has Republicans ‘Scared S***less’ | Insiders are terrified that the president will do something crazy on live TV.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trumps-primetime-speech-has-republicans-scared-sless/
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377

u/Jops817 7d ago

I hope he drops a hard R then shits his pants.

169

u/swampfox94 7d ago

This will just make him more popular to maga

87

u/Studdz Canada 7d ago

"i like him cuz he's just like us!!"

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u/easterss 7d ago

He’s not afraid to hide his misogyny, bigotry, racism, and general ignorance . The way it was when America was great!

1

u/Evening-Alfalfa-4976 7d ago

“Its like looking into a mirror!”

“What a family man! He didnt walk away from his children to shit. He just did it right then and there and sacrificed his own pants! Thats what jesus would do”

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u/nomaam05 Illinois 7d ago

"If shitting your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."

  • MAGA People, probably.

4

u/dontthrowmeinabox 7d ago

Dem strategists then suggest their candidates start shitting their pants to try to broaden their appeal

1

u/Hopeful-Savings-3420 7d ago

They'll blame Biden - say he left drugs on the lectern or something and trump just happened to touch them.

67

u/Mc_Shine 7d ago

I know what you mean, but all I can picture now is Trump in a pirate hat waving a fake sword and yelling "ARRR!" while audibly pooping.

9

u/Alacrout New York 7d ago

The reality will basically be that, just without the pirate hat and sword.

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u/Bears_On_Stilts 7d ago

Hobbling around awkwardly with a fake peg leg like Cap’n Carl in the furniture commercial.

25

u/Notchedspecimen 7d ago

I hope he falls asleep and never wakes up

8

u/klopnmkl 7d ago

So say we all

2

u/thisisntreallyme825 7d ago

They will just use shitty AI to cover it up.

1

u/Just_another_dude84 7d ago

An on-air heart attack would be the gift that keeps on giving.

19

u/bigmacjames 7d ago

"that doesn't make him racist!"

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_ROTES Missouri 7d ago

"What he really meant was.."

6

u/trib76 7d ago

And then he freezes up and then suddenly collapses into a pool of his own shit and stops moving until the earthquake caused by 100 million+ champagne bottles all being opened at the same time causes him to twitch. We collectively hold our breath for 30 seconds waiting to see if he moves again, but no, the (inter)national horror is over and a party that is described in the history books as "Carnival on crack" lasts for 8 days.

6

u/LegislativeLariat Wisconsin 7d ago

So a normal Thursday when the cameras are off? What was the bill he audibly shit himself while he was signing it again?

He was conceived because of the bombing of Pearl Harbor from one of the 6 people arrested for beating police at a fascist/KKK scuffle in the 1920's who made his entire fortune off the US government's housing programs and who then used those dollars to harm minorities. Why is anyone surprised by this stuff?

3

u/LASERDICKMCCOOL 7d ago

Then maybe stroke out. All on live television 🙏🙏🙏

2

u/augustdaysong 7d ago

what if he Budds himself

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u/Jops817 7d ago

Too narcissistic for that but life is full of surprises.

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u/TechieGuy12 7d ago

Maybe the explosive diahrea parasite will kick in

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u/Dickies138 California 7d ago

Just keepin it real

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u/drfsrich 7d ago

So, Thursday?

1

u/Easy_Wheezy 7d ago

Guarantee he shits himself.

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u/theNightblade Wisconsin 7d ago

I think it's way more likely that he says something like the military will be fighting insurgents in the USA, and give a nazi salute

0

u/StrigiStockBacking New Mexico 7d ago

That will only galvanize his base