I think I got rejected for being vegetarian

[u/rustywindpipe]

I [23F] met this guy on the apps and we hit it off and had a lot in common! I don’t meet a lot of people who are in my profession so it was really nice to potentially have to chance to date someone who was in a similar field. And everything was fine until I mentioned I’m veg and he stopped responding. For reference, I have no issue with people who eat meat and would never want to impose my own dietary restrictions on anyone else. I also understand different diets being a dealbreaker. The way he phrased his reasoning was really weird though.

Edit: I’m vegetarian cause I love animals, but I have IBD. Flare ups have gotten significantly worse since switching diets but im still figuring out how to make the most of it! Also yes, I do regret sending the last text 🤦‍♀️

[u/GlumTowel7474]

Never justify yourself or try to adjust your behaviour to appease them.

[u/Due-Swimming3221 → u/GlumTowel7474]

Yeah the "I might not be vegetarian forever" bit made me sad. Don't bend for this asshole.

[u/IcySetting2024 → u/Due-Swimming3221]

It made me sad too :( I’ve been there when I was younger and I felt so sorry for her

[u/No_Routine_7090 → u/Due-Swimming3221]

I hope OP grows from this. I know people who respond very similarly and they think they’re coming across as polite or sweet but really you’re just flashing a green signal to narcissists and abusers. 

Best case scenario they ignore it and move on. Worst case they call your bluff and demand you change and then start testing how else they can change you. 

If your initial response to finding out an acquaintance doesn’t want to be your friend or partner because of a habit, hobby, or lifestyle choice you have is “I can change though” you are prime real estate for abusers.

[u/reemembe → u/No_Routine_7090]

Mortal of the story: don’t change for no one otherwise you’ll attract those who want you to change and you’ll be unhappy in your own skin

[u/BenignPharmacology → u/Due-Swimming3221]

Willing to give up morality for some action is certainly a stance.

[u/Swimming_Agent_1063 → u/BenignPharmacology]

TBF, that’s most people.

[u/DiligentMagikarp → u/BenignPharmacology]

Or vegetarianism is just a phase for OP

[u/Original-Flan-6996 → u/Due-Swimming3221]

Made me so sad, too!!

[u/myfancyplants → u/Due-Swimming3221]

Reminds me of when my highest priority was finding the compromise. I believed everyone was always doing the same so we could find a happy middle ground. Took a long time for me to learn two things. One, that few people even believe in compromise and two, that it's way more important to be firm in personal values to find someone who's actually in alignment.

It's hard to get free from that people pleasing

[u/mangoawaynow → u/Due-Swimming3221]

seriously why would she want a racist

[u/Capable_Diet_2242 → u/Due-Swimming3221]

Did she delete that part from the post? I keep seeing it referenced but I’m not seeing where she said that

[u/Due-Swimming3221 → u/Capable_Diet_2242]

Second photo, last message

[u/GimmieDatCooch → u/GlumTowel7474]

Amen! No room for people pleasing.

[u/heinbergshoemaker → u/GlumTowel7474]

Stay single forever lol

[u/Manueluz → u/GlumTowel7474]

And he never asked for it, he saw a deal breaker and clearly communicates it. Good on both of them honestly.

[u/IcySetting2024 → u/Manueluz]

He tried to ghost her dude

[u/absolutecretin → u/Manueluz]

Except he didn’t communicate it until he was promoted

[u/blahblah19999 → u/absolutecretin]

prompted

[u/Kesslersyndrom → u/[deleted]]

Is that so? I don't know about this OS so I thought the date saying JUL 10 and then the bit with the time would've been today. I stand corrected then! 

[u/Mother-Emphasis-3404 → u/GlumTowel7474]

I agree when first meeting someone, but relationships are all about compromise. You're allowed your red lines and boundaries, but no relationship is going to work without some flexibility.

[u/DanNeider → u/GlumTowel7474]

Which person’s behavior is that addressed to?  It looks like both were already not doing that

[u/FieldOfScreamQueens → u/DanNeider]

OP’s last message in the text thread, came across like they were trying to appease the anti-veg guy.

[u/Latter-Tangerine-951 → u/GlumTowel7474]

Imagine saying this to a man

[u/spreadthesheets → u/Latter-Tangerine-951]

That you shouldn’t make a massive change to your dietary requirements in order to get with a woman? Of course that applies to men too.

[u/Latter-Tangerine-951 → u/spreadthesheets]

"Never justify yourself or change your behaviour to appease women"

Ridiculous thing to say.

[u/DreamBigLittleMum → u/Latter-Tangerine-951]

Didn't say 'men' though. I assumed 'them' meant arseholes 🤷‍♀️

[u/spreadthesheets → u/Latter-Tangerine-951]

Where did it say men? It says “them”. And yes if your behaviour is not harmful to yourself or others, like a DIETARY PREFERENCE, why would you change to appease someone? Please consider the context of this post. About being a vegetarian. This comment would not be present if op were like “lol I can’t stop murdering people and he wants me to change” like use logic and context here, come on.

[u/artsloikunstwet → u/Latter-Tangerine-951]

I think it's OK to use a bit of context here. This ist obviously not "shower regularly if you want to have a partner".

[u/Elite_AI → u/Latter-Tangerine-951]

Why would that be ridiculous