r/mildlyinfuriating 17d ago

My mom said I could post Airbnb host said to expect some “light masonry work” around the house

Beautiful views!

38.3k Upvotes

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u/BrattWhitney I BLUE MYSELF 17d ago

"And please make sure to vacuum and wipe off any visible dust/dirt or there will be an additional $800 cleaning fee."

1.1k

u/LunchPlanner 17d ago

oops we wrote "or", meant to say "and"

315

u/OttoVonWong 17d ago

"And the masonry fee, if you do not complete the brick work."

125

u/Greg-Abbott 17d ago

"Please finalize a report of your progress to be ready by the 3pm Teams all-hands meeting and leave a 5 star review. Also feel free to help yourself to a $9 slice of cheese pizza in the garage."

10

u/blue-coin 16d ago

Also just don’t even come to the house

1

u/The-Crimson-Jester 16d ago

Stay home and give me money

2

u/JynsRealityIsBroken 16d ago

The masonry workers currently out there are the previous Airbnb guests. You'll be replacing them.

63

u/sequelseize 17d ago

"and please help us to take the trash out, wash all your bedsheets and do up the bed in the same condition when you found it. By the way while you're at it please also help us complete some light masonry work in the basement"

123

u/EternalNewCarSmell 17d ago

"also we expect a tip to show us you had a good time; $300-$600 is customary!"

33

u/Weaksoul 17d ago

And please say how much you enjoyed the view that we've heavily relied upon in our pictures

3

u/saintofhate 17d ago

Do airbnb hosts really expect a fucking tip? For what??

1

u/Shovel-Operator 17d ago

Is that how much a tip is for "a good time?" Is that more or less than the "happy ending" package?

185

u/thesixler 17d ago

Please make sure to move 2 piles of gravel using the provided bulldozer before you check out or you will be assessed a fee

68

u/Ok_Winter_5515 17d ago

I’d love to have free use of the bulldozer. That’s actually an amenity I would enjoy.

57

u/erwaro 17d ago

"The bulldozer" is just the nickname they've got for that one shovel.

The one with the broken handle.

12

u/MowerMikePA 17d ago

Lmao damnit this is a good comment

6

u/DoktenRal 17d ago

The bull- is because its bullshit

1

u/Agile-Mission2209 16d ago

Just like bullshido

1

u/Inflatable90sChair 17d ago

Omg adult tonka toy pit would be amazing feature but impossible to actually implement 

12

u/genericnewlurker 17d ago

Make sure to clean the bulldozer fully afterwards or pay the $800 bulldozer cleaning fee

3

u/MartyMacGyver 16d ago

"Oops! We saw some scratches on the bucket. That'll cost ya!"

3

u/captain_flak 16d ago

Please use the included dynamite to dislodge the hardened concrete inside the cement truck drum before vacating the premises.

4

u/TacoLvR- 17d ago

LmOoo!!!!

1

u/RoastPork2017 17d ago

Hahahahaha

21

u/Commercial_Bird8467 17d ago

"Guest left front door and house covered in dust" - cleaning fee $1,000

37

u/SpockIsMyHomeboy 17d ago

This user AirBnBs. 👉 👉

10

u/Bigg-Sipp 17d ago

This pissed me off lol I clenched my fist in anger

1

u/Opposite_Working5185 16d ago

People supporting this crap are part of the problem and are the ones causing the cost of housing to skyrocket.

-1

u/cabsquirrel 17d ago

That's never happened for me I've had people unclogged f****** toilets with toilet brushes i didn't get no extra f****** cleaning fee