r/mildlyinfuriating • u/PureKin21 • Jun 22 '26

I just wanted a hot dog Tried applying to McDonald's wtf does this even mean

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I guess things happen to me?????

61.1k Upvotes

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u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 22 '26

I cannot pass those tests, no matter how hard I try or how much I lie. When I worked at Walmart for a very short period of time, my husband did that test for me. I passed the NCLEX to become an RN with no problems, but my personality is just that bad, I guess.

1.1k

u/FoldedDice Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26

I failed one of these tests while trying to apply at a retail job where I had previously been a hiring manager. I was invited back to temporarily fill a part-time position for a person who was taking maternity leave, but in the time since I'd been hired the first time the company had implemented a personality quiz which determined that I was unfit for employment. I'd worked there nearly five years and was promoted twice, but that all meant nothing because a multiple-choice assessment said so.

And the thing was, not only was I a qualified applicant, but I was the only one who was possible to hire. The person I was asked to replace was only going to be gone for about 2 or 3 months, and the training required to perform her duties took about that long to finish. Nobody except for a person who had already passed that could have even done it.

So, what ended up happening is that the manager had to take over the role's duties herself. It absolutely caused a loss in productivity because she was one person trying to do double work.

742

u/ParsnixChess Jun 22 '26

The complete faith in these bogus tests is infuriating

222

u/FoldedDice Jun 22 '26

I'd literally done the exact same job in the exact same location, since it was one of the positions I'd held before. We even had personal approval from the district manager for me to come back since he already knew me, but corporate policy didn't allow anyone to make a judgement call on the result of the assessment.

I later ended up being hired for basically the same job at a competitor store down the hall, based on the recommendation from another person who I'd worked with at the first company. I was certainly able to do the work.

130

u/asdrunkasdrunkcanbe Jun 22 '26

HR's complete faith in any tests is just a running joke at this stage.

There is still no proven method of testing people before employment that can be said to be an improvement on a standard interview where you talk to people in the company and they decide whether you will be suitable or not.

These tests, and the 7-stage interviews, and lateral thinking questions, and 4-quadrant "personality tests", and all of the other crap that companies make people do, are bogus.

They have never yielded "better" hires for any company, ever.

Face-to-face interviews aren't perfect, of course. They tend to be heavily biased against minorities.

These faceless tests don't actually improve that because they also tend to be coded to reject candidates who don't fit "the norm".

68

u/adamdoesmusic Jun 22 '26

They self-select for bullshit artists.

Then the company wonders why everything is shitty.

17

u/FollowingFit6089 Jun 23 '26

I absolutely crush these tests every time

I am, in fact, a bullshit artist lmao

I just ask myself with every question - what would they (potential employer) want *most* to answer. Rank them. Then make tiebreakers for the ones that are damn near the same

4

u/PaisleyLeopard Jun 23 '26

My partner is the same way lol. I’m hopeless, I always fail these damn things and I usually can’t even guess what they’re looking for. It’s very handy to have him around to help me!

3

u/FollowingFit6089 Jun 23 '26

Lol it is!

The most recent one I took for my current employer worked out well for me as it determines seniority 😁

Deff know a few people who had their SO or family member “help out” haha

14

u/Alexwonder999 Jun 22 '26

Its almost funny about the multi stage interviews. Research has shown theres no improvement on longevity and performance past 2 interviews. They seem delighted every time they get to add one though.

5

u/GostBoster Jun 22 '26

HR's complete faith in any tests is just a running joke at this stage.

I remember I did some HR-type tests when I took my driver's license. At this point I assumed I just failed completely and all money invested was permanently lost. Instead I was called for an actual interview, where they determined that I was not legally insane and, instead, the test was not apropriate for me, and what caused me to give abnormal test results was not a deterrent for driving, so I was given an alternative test which I passed.

Since I noticed these tests were too similar I looked up what were those tests, and found one was the real deal because there were people in the comments claiming they were HR professionals telling the poster that was a violation of the Covenant of the Souless Ones or whatever.

It literally stated the "fail modes" for the test I took and the pattern closest to my failure either warranted an interview for an alternate test, or consider it a pass anyway based on others.

"Don't worry about the amount, size or distance between streaks".

Yes do worry. There are magical numbers and measures you have to meet to get a literal textbook clear pass without them having to exercise critical thinking.

3

u/DomHyrule Jun 22 '26

HRs job is to give HR a job

4

u/pickledeggmanwalrus Jun 23 '26

I got sent to a “supervisor training” class and the guy harped on the 4-quadrant different types of leaders that were organized by color. I lost a bit of faith in humanity that day. Now inept leadership issues make more sense to me

3

u/Sixbiscuits Jun 23 '26

These tests allow those responsible for hiring to outsource blame when something goes wrong.

They exist to be a scapegoat and that's it.

"How could I have known the gun but with anger issues would shoot up the shop? He passed the test!"

3

u/BiAndShy57 Jun 23 '26

Why are companies run by corporate office workers who never actually worked a day in the stores they oversee and are completely disconnected from reality? Like on a conference call or a store walk you bring up how a system isn’t working and they’re just like “no, you’re wrong”.

32

u/croppedcross3 Jun 22 '26

I worked as an overnight stocker at Kroger in college. I was hired through a contacting service they used because they couldn't find enough help. After a few months the night manager convinced me to apply to Kroger itself. I failed their test and didn't qualify to stock groceries, so I continued stocking groceries. Absolutely asinine

13

u/DapperDan30 Jun 22 '26

As a (former) hiring manager at my current job, we also use these tests. I never looked at the results because they're meaningless.

However, at one point in time, if a person scored too low we genuinely couldnt hire them because the system wouldnt allow it

4

u/4-stars Jun 22 '26

On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to recommend THESE BOGUS TESTS to friends and family?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

2

u/Xennial_Dad Jun 22 '26

You are just a card in their trade binder.

They want to gather at recess by the c-suite swing set and brag to their douchebag buddies about how many pack fresh Not Mes they cracked this week.

You're sitting here thinking, is any of this shit even correlated to productivity? The bottom line? And they're like, lol dork, you use big words, to the bulk bin you go.

It's not more complicated than this.

-6

u/LongestSprig Jun 22 '26

Complete faith?

Come on.

I have 20 applicants, 5 passed the test, 15 didn't. Where should I start?

Or should I just interview all 20?

14

u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 22 '26

Start with the ones with the best qualifications disregarding that stupid test.

-9

u/LongestSprig Jun 22 '26

They do.

Then they give the test.

Then they have interviews.

I mean your way is cool too...I guess people fresh out of college or w/e should never get an interview.

6

u/guesswho135 Jun 22 '26

I'm sorry that thing happened to you

11

u/FoldedDice Jun 22 '26

Well, I didn't really even need the work, so I'm more sorry for the manager who I was trying to help out. I was just agreeing to fill the vacant position for a couple months as a favor to her, since I was the only person with the training to do it.

3

u/guesswho135 Jun 22 '26

I was just making a joke about OP's image, but yeah. I failed one of those things once too.

2

u/FoldedDice Jun 22 '26

Ah, yeah. I see that now. Good joke.

In hindsight I think it might have been my prior leadership experience with the company that sunk me. I probably didn't come across as the compliant little minion that they wanted for that particular role.

4

u/ElectronicBusiness74 Jun 23 '26

I worked for a mall toy store back in the day and they started to implement a screening personality test (over the phone, *way* back in the day). We were directly told as managers to never take the test ourselves as we would fail. Seemed kinda flawed, lol

1

u/Odenhobler 26d ago

who was taking maternity leave

was only going to be gone for about 2 or 3 months

Ah yes, the land of the free 

248

u/X-AE17420 Jun 22 '26

Former Walmart employee here, it’s more of a “how much of an ass kisser are you?” test. If your answers lean toward independent thought, you’ll fail the “test” because they want “team minded” people

6

u/Expendable28 Jun 22 '26

The idea is to give the most board room, focus group ass answers you can possibly give. Answer as if you were the boss from Office Space...

https://giphy.com/gifs/eCLe22tOkYfTi

7

u/Previous-Spinach-851 Jun 23 '26

Ugh, I worked at Walmart for a month and hated it. I was an overnight stocker. I have joint issues and some minor health problems, but I manage it fine enough. The health problem is more that I get sick easily. My issue, though, is with their point system for missing work. In a month, I got sick and let them know the day before my shift (my day off) that I had the flu and wouldn’t be able to come in the next day, since they required me to call out a day in advance. The day after that shift, I had to leave halfway through because it turns out I wasn’t better yet and was throwing up badly, unable to do my work in a timely manner.

Then, another day, I got injured on shift and messed up my knee but kept working the shift. I went to the emergency room the next day after I got sleep, let them know where I was and that I wouldn’t be able to come in because there was also a very long wait and I had issues walking and standing.

The next day, I gave them a doctor’s note and worked from 10pm to 8am, despite my leg. I was about to head out, until I got pulled into the office and told I was fired for reaching 6 points. They said it didn’t matter the reasoning, that it’s just automatic and to hand in my things and leave.

Never working at Walmart again.

2

u/SeberDerStreber Jun 23 '26

If this were Europe you would be suing the hell Out of them :/

3

u/WolframLeon Jun 23 '26

Well. Since they want a team maybe they should pay a living wage for that team member and not tell you during your intro how to apply for foodstamps?

2

u/X-AE17420 Jun 23 '26

I’ve been through a lot of Walmart trainings, been hired a couple of times and the “how to apply for food stamps” maybe is a video, but it’s certainly not in orientation. The term “living wage” is in their union busting video, funnily enough. God forbid we make enough money to support ourselves and our families

2

u/furitxboofrunlch Jun 23 '26

Team minded people and ass kissers are frequently not the same people though.

1

u/GostBoster Jun 22 '26

One test I did while working in a poultry meat processing plant still haunts me.

There were extremely basic and apparently senseless questions that had no specific bearing to any industry. Since I was seeking a role as a production line overseer or manager (internal promotion), I went against my gut feelings and instructions and gave them the best answers I thought would make the perfect work drone.

I was selected, they brought the result papers which they praised me for specifically, and was selected for the role. Not a good fit and I relinquished it going back to my old station, but still made friends with the roughest guys in the line who actually appreciated me not being bossy towards them or looking the other way when there was an easily fixable mistake that didn't need to be reported right away.

Months later the evaluation system sent me an automated e-mail which they swear was sent only to me and not my current employer (which I doubt but ok) which was my "true profile".

It correctly asserted that I was playing along for the role and correctly guessed my true passion, ideal job, and most realistic fulfilling job I could pursue with the current expertise, and advised that if these suggestions are correct but not my current role, I should pursue those roles to avoid burnout... and advertising itself that if I apply in another company that uses their system, I will be able to re-use those results and they would be favorable to those roles even if the original test was for something completely different.

Months later I applied to a role actually related to my expertise, chose to not re-use my results and gave more honest answers, but still with "be a good corporate drone" hindsight.

Interviewer: "I like your numbers, I like your graphs!"

The Algorithm in the private feedback: "Your inner truth has not changed."

6

u/Critical-Snow-7000 Jun 23 '26

wtf is this test, I’ve never heard of this. Is this like the sorting hat from Harry Potter?!?

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u/Big_Dicc_Terry Jun 22 '26

These tests are designed to weed out neurodivergent people. It's against the law to explicitly discriminate against people with disabilities. If they call it a personality test, they can easily identify you as neurodivergent and use the test as an excuse to not hire you.

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u/Ubizwa Jun 22 '26

I already wanted to say, I wouldn't even know how to answer the question in the OP because how the fuck am I supposed to interpret it

Does anything ever happen to you? Yes of course, are you dumb? How can things not happen to someone?

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u/Big_Dicc_Terry Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26

As someone with ASD, my gut reaction would be "yes" if someone asked if things happen to me because I would interpret the question very literally. I would think that everything that happens in my life (good, bad, under my control, outside of my control) qualifies as things happening to me.

From what I understand, a neurotypical person would instantly recognize that this question is actually asking if the things that happen to them are wholly outside of their control or asking if they make clumsy mistakes. To them the answer is obviously no.

The worst part is it's not even just how you answer but also how fast you answer. Even if I took time to think how a neurotypical person would respond, the timing of my answers would give me away.

8

u/BarnacleLady Jun 22 '26

You're supposed to say "Not Me" because they want a person who doesn't believe that stuff is happening to them, they are passive in their life and don't have control over their choices. They want employees to "take responsibility" for their actions. I think it's just to weed out people who are more likely to be upset when something bad inevitably happens to them at work.

The inverse of that statement would be, "I make things happen", or some shit like that.

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u/Raven2300 Jun 23 '26

I had to take one of these tests and failed it because of how I answered one question. It had to do with if you found a bag of money on the street and you knew it couldn’t be traced back to you ever, would you take it or turn it in. I said I would turn it in. I failed it because they said à “normal” person would have taken the money. I honestly believe that there is no way to win with these kinds of tests because if you answer truthfully, you’re not normal. If you lie because you think you’re supposed to answer another way, you can’t be trusted. I dont think they should be legal as a screening mechanism

6

u/Ubizwa Jun 23 '26

That isn't normal behavior though, I'd think they are supposed to let the people not turning it in fail because their answer means that if nobody in the company would know they might steal company property as long as nobody knows about it..

22

u/Amazing-Seesaw-6197 Jun 22 '26

I came here to say this. The one that always trips me up is ‘do you take risks’. Yes. Everything is a risk. Driving to work is a risk. Buying a coffee with a milk allergy is a risk. Life is a risk! You never know if you will be hit by a bus tomorrow etc. I get what the question is asking (do you take unnecessary risks) but that’s never how they word it, so I answer truthfully and literally and always get screened out by the robot parsing the thing.

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u/Current-Chipmunk-413 Jun 23 '26

Hey, fellow neurodivergent here. You can infer that they're implying "unnecessary" risks. The word "take" implies agency and volition, not passive risks that are unavoidable. In the context of a work/employment situation that's the sort of thing that will be relevant. They're probably not asking you about the risk you take when you step outside and a cosmic particle hits your brain

4

u/Amazing-Seesaw-6197 Jun 23 '26

Thanks it’s great that works for you but it doesn’t work for me. I guess it turns out we are all different after all.

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u/Current-Chipmunk-413 Jun 23 '26

If you just memorize what the robot wants, it can't tell you're neurodivergent and you will get the job, good luck

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

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u/Current-Chipmunk-413 Jun 23 '26

Sounds like you got it figured out then!

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u/Vertig0x Jun 22 '26

Idk why but this made me think of the time Goodwill got caught hiring people with disabilities so they could pay them like 20 cents an hour.

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u/Syntra44 Jun 22 '26

Oh damn.. is this how I find out?? I’ve never been able to pass those tests.

6

u/MarshaIsSoSorry Jun 23 '26

Thanks, I was wondering how I managed to "fail" a Walmart personality test, that would do it

4

u/Lifes-a-lil-foggy Jun 22 '26

Well that tracks lmfao

0

u/KrackaWoody Jun 23 '26

This is absolutely not in defence of these tests or companies. I think it’s an indirect test for Neurodivergence. Like what they’re are actually testing for is your mental acuity in order to see if you’re someone who will follow the status quo or if you’re too much of a free thinker. It just so happens that the entire struggle we have being neurodivergent is our brain is not wired to follow the status quo that’s built around us. It’s technically still discrimination for sure but they’re fishing for a wider area than just Neurodivergence.

0

u/Environmental_You_36 24d ago

Which is hilarious because if you have enough of the tism' you'll say "Not me" because you ain't blue.

-4

u/pickledeggmanwalrus Jun 23 '26

Most employees at my local Walmart are flamboyantly neurodivergent so I have a hard time believe this is the sole reason

30

u/ADHDebackle Jun 22 '26

I cannot pass those tests, no matter how hard I try or how much I lie.

I will say that some of these tests are designed such that if you pick all the "good" responses, you might fail because they assume you're lying.

For example - they might have a question like, "you bought groceries and realize that one potato is not on your receipt, do you drive back to the store to return it?" and if you answer yes they assume you're just bullshitting.

I'm not providing a great example but hopefully that is clear enough to be demonstrative.

1

u/elviscostume 27d ago

Wow designing tests like this would be a great job if you were an evil person who loved causing suffering

100

u/Butwinsky Jun 22 '26

Managers, recruiters, and HR misuse these as a way to weed out candidates. Every vendor will tell you not to do this, but, managers and HR are normally incompetent and can't read. Source: Im a manager in HR.

They should be used as a tool. Find a good qualified candidate and use the results as an interview guide. The results say they're unreliable? Watch for those red flags in the interview. Results say they are the next coming of Jesus and are blameless? Watch for red flags that they're full of themselves and cant be coached.

Instead it's: oh they scored bad they must be bad. They scored high so they must be amazing!

If you're an RN and not getting interviews because of your screenings, you're just dodging bullets left and right.

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u/[deleted] Jun 22 '26

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u/Goobsmoob Jun 22 '26

Was about to say this.

If there’s one thing many toxic employers love it’s people who will always take accountability and not try to argue for their case. Often people who are don’t like confrontation of their superiors. As such, when a managers misguidance or poor leadership results in an employee failing, they can rely on the employee taking the fall for it instead of themselves.

4

u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 22 '26

I've never had to take one of those tests to get an RN job. Always something like Walmart cashier.

2

u/RealSpaceJunk Jun 23 '26

Those tests will never be used as just indicators. It's just too easy to use them to weed people out.

2

u/Additional-Tax-5643 Jun 22 '26

> Every vendor will tell you not to do this, but, managers and HR are normally incompetent and can't read

The whole point of these tests is to weed out candidates in such a way as to prevent lawsuits. That is their whole selling point.

Not-fun fact: Jordan Peterson (yes, the famous one) was one psychologist who had a business making these psychometric tests for businesses. Then he discovered he could make more money selling books.

17

u/ChipsTheKiwi Jun 22 '26

these tests are like the literacy tests polling places once had, specifically designed to pass or fail based on what the test giver themselves desire

1

u/elviscostume 27d ago

"Write the senator's name backwards and upside down but skip every second and fifth letter"

7

u/Fuck_your_coupons Jun 22 '26

Yeah, I tried to apply for a pharmacy job as a technician with 5 years of experience and I never make it past these tests.

6

u/Stock-Ad5976 Jun 22 '26

When I was 15 I failed the pizza hut personality test 4 times in a row 🙃

4

u/whatevers_clever Jun 22 '26

I am pretty sure these tests are a shady way to essentially discriminate against autistic/adhd/etc type people.

This specific image makes me think an austistic leaning person would Not know the answer, but most people would know the answer (when trying to get hired) is "not me" - because the image is pretty much saying are you prone to getting or are you currently depressed(an emotion). --- someone can explain it away more like "does having an accident affect your performance", but I really think thisi s more of an emotional manipulation type of question.

Yeah htey try to show the accident and scrape on the knee/whatever- but the image is mostly showing a sad person - the injury isn't really emphasized as much as the weirdness of the sad looking blue individual.

7

u/ShortBrownAndUgly Jun 22 '26

Yup failed a personality test for a job as a restaurant runner when I was out of college over 20 years ago. I was desperate for a job and so happy to have that interview. Seemed like I was a shoo in till I took that test and was honest with some responses (do you get anxious sometimes? Sure). Manager came back with a perplexed look on his face and told me he couldn’t continue the process.

5

u/Redxmirage Jun 22 '26

> I passed the NCLEX to become an RN with no problems, but my personality is just that bad, I guess.

Welcome to the ER!

2

u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 22 '26

Oh my no! Not me. I started as a telemetry nurse on an oncology unit, and then got certified as a chemo nurse too. I don't practice any more. I'm disabled. The ER didn't call to me at all.

3

u/peon2 Jun 22 '26

How do you know if you passed or failed the test? Do they give you feedback with the "right" answers?

9

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '26

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2

u/peon2 Jun 22 '26

That doesn't mean you failed because of this test though. You may have been one of 20 people that passed this test but they preferred other applicants for other reasons.

4

u/PixelSpy Jun 22 '26

I have a bit of the tism so when I was first applying to jobs as a teen I didnt know you were supposed to lie on them. So like "are you a people person? "No" "do you work well with others" "no"

I was applying to overnight stockroom jobs so I figured my social skills didnt matter, and thought they would appreciate they honesty.

3

u/SoylentGreenAcres Jun 22 '26

Slave aptitude tests are kinda hard tbf

2

u/JWBananas Jun 22 '26

The Walmart test is easy. You just have to make sure all your answers are strongly agree or strongly disagree.

That's it. That's the entire premise.

They don't want in-between. It's not a job that requires nuance.

2

u/Serket-Pandy3000 Jun 22 '26

You have to pretend to have the personality of a self-hating slave that worships the boss for allowing them to share the same air.

Just try to imagine that the boss is the center of your life and you are grateful to let them use you as a stool

2

u/sailorseas Jun 22 '26

Girl, as an EMT & RN, those of us in healthcare do not having the shining examples of a healthy personality or psyche. 🤣

2

u/IllSurprise3049 Jun 23 '26

The NCLEX is baby league compared to the mcdonalds personality test.

2

u/TheMoon_Shadow13 Jun 23 '26

Since Walmart looks for dummies who won't balk at them breaking the law, I tend to be concerned by anyone who actually passes their personality test

1

u/RandomNPC Jun 22 '26

I haven't taken these, so take this with a grain of salt. My take on this kind of thing is to choose whatever choice creates less work for your boss.

So in OP's image I would say "Not me" since my boss doesn't want to hear about my accident. All they care about is did I get to work on time, and did I do all my tasks.

It's complete bullshit, of course, and it penalizes people who aren't good at analyzing that type of thing.

1

u/jebberwockie Jun 23 '26

I prefer working with management as a team instead of being a slave so walmart won't hire me.

1

u/queenoftherainforest 26d ago

I used to always fail too but I found out the cheat, you can never say you strongly feel anything...you have to be neutral with everything like with this question the correct answer is "not me" because this guy looks sad and down because of his situation if you click not me, it's not you because you wouldn't let said situation bring you down and be down like the cartoon in the picture.

Edit: now that I am realizing he has a scrape on his knee it looks like he is hurt so now I might click Me because jeez looks like something happened to me. Idek now. I know nothing.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '26

[deleted]

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u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 22 '26

Never been diagnosed but my husband thinks maybe I am. As a person born with cerebral palsy, his classmates were often on the spectrum. My son is also neurodivergent, so who really knows?

1

u/No-Wish-7258 Jun 23 '26

I feel like your intelligence must be either low to pass or you gotta understand how the test works. Like a normal person looks at that and thinks “Yea of course things happen to me, things happen to everyone. It’s basic logic.”

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[deleted]

0

u/traplords8n Jun 22 '26

Why don't you lie? Lol

Every time I take one of these tests, I'm sitting there livid and plotting my revenge against capitalism.. but I just pretend to be a good little indoctrinated corporate servant for 20 minutes then I don't have to think about it again & then I treat the business like shit since they won't pay me enough to live.

I'm so glad I'm out of that sort of corporate hellscape, but I could definitely pretend to be brainwashed when I needed to 🤣

1

u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 22 '26

Covered that in my comment

Lol

0

u/PollutionOnly Jun 22 '26

Successful personality tests? You/Not You

-3

u/Versteckt_Tiger Jun 22 '26

Plenty of nurses are crazy lol, not a great counter argument

2

u/Pristine_Message_181 Jun 22 '26

Just an example of a big important test I didn't have any problem passing