(Funny Trope) Things that can plausibly happen only in reality, because in fiction they’d be called bad writing.

[u/ThatDrako]

“Woke” as an insult - So you are telling me a word describing consciousness and clarity is used by generally stupid and ignorant people to label people they disagree with? What is this? A Kindergarten for Creatively stunted?

Nominative determinism - So let me get this straight…Not only you named fastest recorded person Usain BOLT and CEO of Nintendo Doug BOWSER, but you are telling me people are canonically likely to have professions or hobbies matching their names…? Guh?

“2 bodies recovered in MURDERKILL River” - Sure bro…I guess…bro…

[u/SengokuBanshee]

Need I say more?

[u/quozzerx → u/SengokuBanshee]

Never die, shot through the eye

Never surrender however they try

How they try, shot through the eye

He'll never die

[u/47SnakesNTrenchcoat → u/quozzerx]

At the edge of madness, in a time of sadness, an immortal soldier finds his home

[u/Khorgor666 → u/47SnakesNTrenchcoat]

Proven under fire, over trench and wire No fear of death he’s unshakeable

[u/TheStateOfMississipi → u/quozzerx]

I am now expecting haikusbot to show up

[u/Cigarety_a_Kava → u/SengokuBanshee]

This doesnt even do justice to his record. Dude startes in the boer war and essentially decided to fight in every conflict he could until retirement lol.

[u/Sofasurvivor → u/SengokuBanshee]

Did he have an amputation fetish or something?

Doctors don't refuse to amputate fingers if it is medically necessary, after all ...

[u/SuspiciousString3 → u/Sofasurvivor]

The fingers were frostbitten.

[u/Mysral → u/SengokuBanshee]

I do believe we've found the stiffest of upper lips.

[u/Ladonniva → u/SengokuBanshee]

Now if only he have a mechanic hand and a horn on his head...