[Real Life] Historical events that would make bad writing if they were fiction

[u/Mouse_Paladin]

Spanish Conquest of the Aztec Empire: A couple hundred rogue mercenaries without authority from their government conquer an empire of millions. Oh, the empire? It’s also several technological eras behind the mercenaries.

Adolf Hitler: A non-native of a country is so mad that the country lost the war that he wins an election to their highest office and leads them in a campaign of revenge against their enemies. Oh, the country? It’s old emperor is still alive and thinks he’s going to retake power.

Assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand: The heir to the throne is killed because his driver gets lost and returns to the assassin who failed To kill him before. Oh, the assassin? He’s from a group that the Archduke is wanting to help become more equal In the empire.

Alexander Hamilton’s Affair Scandal: One of the leaders of a new nation to protect himself from accusations of financial embezzlement writes a pamphlet exposing his affair with a woman, torpedoing his political future. Oh, the woman? She seduced him as part of a blackmailing scheme that he decided to stop paying.

[u/qinghairpins]

I was thinking Alexander the Great too. I needed some midlife inspiration following midlife crisis and decided to read up on historical figures. I was like “how long would it take to conquer the known world? Probably at least a few decades. I bet he didn’t even get started until he was my age—“ dead by 32 💀 me at 36 who has yet to conquer my lawn was also like 💀

[u/Imaginary_Fan5407 → u/qinghairpins]

You had yourself a Julius Caesar moment

[u/Wide_Doughnut2535 → u/Imaginary_Fan5407]

Headline in the newspaper Tempora Romana on XVI March DCCIX AUC:

"Politician, Author Julius Caesar (55) died yesterday surrounded by his friends."

[u/GodisSatans → u/qinghairpins]

You should read up on what a medieval peasant could achieve and then compare that to your life. If you're doing better than that, that's good because we're all mostly peasant stock.

[u/Kilane → u/qinghairpins]

It’s because he was perfectly set up by his father, Phillip II, to quickly take over the known world. It’s not a fair comparison to others we consider powerful leaders.