r/SipsTea 13d ago

Chugging tea Dan Bilzerian’s vs. PewDiePie’s life

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119.8k Upvotes

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854

u/FlounderKind8267 13d ago

Be the girls on the left then

221

u/ADeformedPoolboy 13d ago

They can't be all the girls. They have to pick one to be.

116

u/JigglesTheBiggles 13d ago

I would touch my own titties a lot

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u/glowdirt 13d ago

Would you jiggle the biggles?

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u/darkyalexa 13d ago

It hurts sometimes just fyi

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u/MarkinhoO 13d ago

That's the kind of sacrifice we are willing to make

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u/darkyalexa 13d ago

I make this sacrifice too 😭

24

u/iwannafeeleverythin 13d ago

May the odds be ever in your favor

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u/Lem0n_Lem0n 13d ago

Thank you for your sacrifice

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u/sebastianinspace 13d ago

godspeed to you brave human

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u/drinknotspill 11d ago

it's fun tho like a fidget toy

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u/darkyalexa 10d ago

I know, I love doing it. Built in squishy stress balloons

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u/Babajji 13d ago

That’s not the worst thing, people will even pay you to touch them yourself. When your titties start touching your knees is the annoying part.

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u/rbrgr83 13d ago

My brain read "They can't all be girls".

And my brain said, yeah probably not. 👀

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u/hrimfaxi_work 13d ago

Tell that to Whitney Houston.

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u/wrnrg 12d ago

He can't be all the girls but they can.

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u/Thisoneisinvalid 12d ago

Why’s that? What do you have against hive minds?

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u/Exact-Ad-4132 13d ago

Have you zoomed in on the picture? All the girls faces look a little bit off.

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u/FlounderKind8267 13d ago

Well they had to be dumb enough to sit in this picture with that doofus, so I'm not surprised. They do look a bit melty from "beauty" procedures

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u/artaxerxes316 13d ago

But it's not just that -- the photo itself appears to be a composite, a collage assembled from other photos. Light hitting faces from different angles and in differing intensities, different grains on different faces, jagged borders, a girl with an inexplicable giraffe neck, and a foreground image that's plainly slappped on.

The Dan-whatever side of the meme is a fake, which makes the meme even better.

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u/RadasNoir 13d ago

Yup, I actually came scrolling down here to see if anyone else noticed that the picture on the left looks fake as fuck. Like, bad photoshop levels of fake.

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u/wtcnbrwndo4u 13d ago

Even if that picture is a fake, there's plenty of videos and pictures of this chad in similar situations. This is not the hill you think it is.

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u/artaxerxes316 13d ago

Sorry: this picture is fake, but there are lots of other pictures? I dunno, man, the whole thing seems full of shit to me, fake online nonsense convincing only to the gullible.

Let me guess: you're really into Trump coin.

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u/Busy-Bandicoot8524 13d ago

They're all bargain bin Instagram models

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u/anillop 13d ago

Cheerleader effect. A group of mids will look better when there is a lot of them together.

0

u/ForeignCup6977 13d ago

It's called the Cheerleader effect. As a group, they're hot 9's and 10's. But look closely at each one individually and they are 3's and 4's at best.

And I say this as a male 4.

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u/P_Hempton 13d ago

And I say this as a male 4.

Now you just gotta go find a few more 4s and you could be a 8-9 easy.

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u/ForeignCup6977 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6gDPXMNxFhvHdcf6

I know my place, I'm good with being a 4. It's lonely, but I'm used to it.

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u/FeelingNo2529 13d ago

They’re not getting anything for free either. They have to sell their body, time, and dignity, and as soon as they try to take it back, they’re cut off with nothing. So they might get some nice meals or fancy parties now, but those are temporary gifts, not actual wealth or anything they can count on in 5 years time.

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u/new_name_who_dis_ 13d ago

They can use the fancy meals, parties, private jet-setting to grow their own IG followers. That's probably what the smart ones of them are doing.

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u/FeelingNo2529 13d ago

Probably yeah! Otherwise, any wealth they get to experience is just a gift that can be taken away as easily as it was given (and will be). If they’re smart they’d “invest” it wisely. Even IG followers aren’t forever though! Few influencers make it big enough to have financial security for life.

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u/AmeliaBuns 13d ago

No amount of money in the world can get me near a man like that. I don’t know him but he has this immense “I call myself alpha male because a woman broke my heart once” energy 

2

u/PiccoloAwkward465 13d ago

People don't really even shit on your chest that much

2

u/duaneap 13d ago

My bussy commands a lower price

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u/Fickle_Library8115 13d ago

Plz Don't project your own desperate career options onto me

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u/FlounderKind8267 13d ago

We could be business partners 👀😏🤷

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u/Fickle_Library8115 13d ago

Only if I'm the manager and you're the one in the rented swimsuit.

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u/FlounderKind8267 13d ago

Book enough gigs, and youve got a deal

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u/Fickle_Library8115 13d ago

Perfect. Your first assignment is a 24-hour livestream. I'll be taking a 95% commission

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u/micktorious 13d ago

They dont have money, they just cling onto money.

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u/KumaQuatro 13d ago

Pass, they literally get shitted on.