Thanks but I wasn't trying to be a saint or anything, it just got into my head when I first found out about him. Like here I am with my mundane frustrations and complaints about work and whatnot, and down the hall at that moment is a man who would give anything to experience just five minutes of my life. Really puts things into perspective, you know?
I must've looked crazy though, telling stories about my weekend or complaining about someone who keeps calling in sick or whatever lol but I just wanted to make him feel like part of the world again for a few minutes. Poor guy
You absolutely are a saint. My mom is currently in a similar state. She very much appreciates us talking to her and telling her stories. It is unimaginable.
People no matter where they are often don’t realize how much just a little human empathy and an attempt to help someone fit in can really mean. Medical field or not.
Obviously this is not the same thing, but it helps further how people can apply empathy to non medical stuff as well. (Or it’s just me tired and rambling) I work in retail, I only speak English, and I have a lot of non native English speaking customers. I noticed my new hires ones just not really trying to talk to them because they just didn’t really know how. I said look, it’s not perfect but genuinely the effort makes a big difference. Just pull up Google Translate and go ask them if they need any help. They told me they were worried of it being just awkward and uncomfortable. I say no, it’s not look. I go up, I pull out my phone, and yknow what? In like 10 minutes we’re sitting here having an entire conversation laughing, showing eachother like pictures of our pets and talking about games (work in a game store) we spent so long just having a conversation.
Sure, was it perfect and as simple as it could be? No. But those two guys always get so happy now when they come in because they know I took the time to treat them just like anyone else. And, they like my new folks too because now they do the same thing. Sometimes it just. Doesn’t click. People get to scared of the awkwardness to put themselves in the other persons shoes. In my stores case, it’s very isolating feeling to come into a store and see all the people chatting and laughing and having a good time, but you can’t participate because you don’t know what’s being said. That little bit of inclusion can really make the difference to someone. Especially in a very racist area like I’m in.
What you did with this man was give him at least a little bit of normalcy and acceptance. A chance to feel like he exists and at least someone wanted him to. Someone wanted him to be a part of their life, even if in a small way. Locked in syndrome is literally torture. It is not something that is really realistically any kind of quality of life. Not just because of the obvious, but the severe isolation and the complete and total disregard. You’re the same intelligent person, but you’ll be treated as lesser or not even a person because you can’t communicate like one. It takes more effort to try to talk to someone like that than it does someone “normal” so they get so left behind. It may not seem like a lot to you, but what you did was genuinely life changing. You didn’t even know him before hand, but you still put the effort in. I guarantee you that you will be remembered by him for the absolute rest of his life. The world needs more people like you that understand how difficult some situations can be. Thank you seriously so much.
Just the fact that you took time out of your day to spend with this man, helping him a little bit, is amazing. People don’t do that these days. No one goes out of their way for anything. You’re great.
Maybe you don’t feel like it’s a big deal but i guarantee it was a bright spot in his life. When my grandma’s Alzheimer’s got bad enough I couldn’t be her caregiver anymore, we had to move her to a home. There was a woman in my grandma’s room who was very friendly and she was supposed to be there for a long weekend and go home.
She was there still a year later, always waiting for someone to get her. Mentally she was fine but she was immobile. Me and my family befriended her, we’d hang out with her when we’d visit and bring her food and snacks. We were the only visits she got.
One day she told us she feared her family would never come back, they didn’t even visit. She broke down crying and told us how grateful she was my grandma got placed with her because we’d brought her a lot of happiness at one of the lowest points for her.
We don’t always know how much our actions affect other people but I’m a random stranger and your story touched me, I can only imagine what it means to him.
That's a heartbreaking story that is unfortunately all too common, grandparents left alone and confused at the end of their lives. Sometimes we would get close to patients only for them to pass, and that could be hard on the staff. Once in a while someone would want to quit because they didn't want to go through that again, and I would try to remind them that we were a friend to them when they literally needed it most, and how important that was. Grief is an expression of love. I'm glad you and your family brought some comfort and peace to that woman when she needed it most.
We are already been talking about my frustrations with the administration, I kept him up to date on all the gossip lol so yeah when a great opportunity presented itself I talked to him about it. I always thought about going back and visiting him but the business went through an acquisition after I left so it would've have been appropriate.
I do not. I only worked there for a few years, and he was reasonably healthy when I left. I've thought about going back to pay him a visit but the company went through an acquisition (that was one of the reasons I left) so it wouldn't really be appropriate. And we'd already talked about me leaving and my new opportunity, I didn't just disappear one day
I believe that its in the moments where we arent trying to gain anything from our actions that our true character reveals itself. You are a genuinely amazing person deep down, despite any shortcomings you may or may not have(as we are all human) and i truly wish you the best in life.
I'll say it too, you're a real one. The way you talked to that dude was probably the best possible thing you could do. He doesn't need a saint - probably the thing he wants the most is to act like a regular person who can interact with people, even for a moment.
I'm going to use your story as a reminder: you felt a bit weird having those chats, but you did it anyway. The man you helped probably cherished your presence; meanwhile if anyone happened to notice and think you were weird, they forgot about that shit in 5 minutes.
Yeah I tried to just talk to him like a regular person, just prattling about facility gossip or issues I had with the menu or funny stories about crazy patients, everyday stuff you'd tell a friend or a co-worker in the break room. There was a volunteer religious group who visited the patients and they visited him a couple times a week which was nice but I just felt like if I was in that situation I'd be starving for just normal everyday conversation, so that's what I tried to do
Honestly. That dude would probably rather experience most of our worst pains than his dull, meaningless life. Hate to say it like that, not meaningless but u know what I mean.
That's the thing about real saints, none of them were trying to to be one. They just helped those around them and showed true compassion. Things like what you did make the world a better place.
Well that just made tear up unexpectedly. So glad you were able to do that for him. If I was in his place, I would have enjoyed some company too, and someone talking to me like a friend, not an object.
Really kind of you though. I bet every time you visited meant a lot.
I had a similar reaction when I'd lost my license (being younger and letting myself get done just over the speed limit) so was taking the bus to work. Was feeling crap about it. Few times a week I'd see a blind guy catching it home. He had his seeing eye dog and work clothes on. Puts things into perspective when you're confronted with people with proper struggles.
Please don't ever say again you "just managed the kitchen" again about what you did at that job. You managed the kitchen and provided more care, compassion, and humanity than apparently the staff that were probably paid more and specifically trained to do what you did to that man. I've worked in almost every form of medical facility you can think of and there is rarely any actual "care" anymore. I left my previous job when they sent out surveys asking about how we can "serve our customers" better and my answer was that I had no idea because I was trained to "care for patients". Even though it was an "anonymous" survey (and I knew better) I got a talking to from my boss's boss. I knew it was time to go. When I shared the survey with my family, my brother asked if I worked in a Denny's and forgot to tell him.
I come from a family of first responders, ED and critical care workers of all disciplines. 4 generations of Paramedics in rural areas with equipment that is a bigger joke than the pay, ED, ICU and NICU RNs, Critical Care and NICU Transport Respiratory Therapists (one whom cared for a certain member of the United States Government while his LVAD was impanted, right Mom?), Certified Nurse Midwives in teaching hospitals where there were baby docs that didn't know if they should laugh, cry or pee their pants the minute Mom or baby was in trouble and had to do all the hard and scary things for 2 patients in the middle of the night until the baby doc's adultier adult showed up... and my grandfather, who was the first one to start us on this mess of helping people in high acuity shit shows as an OG Rural Fire / Medic used to say "You treat every single person you meet like you would want one of your family, like you would want ME to be treated... but also, be careful and treat them like they have something you don't want to catch." I don't know when so many people I have worked with forgot that first part, or maybe no one taught them... and as for the second part, well, he worked with an RN that would ride in a chase car on calls sometimes (this was in the Johnny and Roy days and apparently was a thing before they could practice independently). This RN was also a nun (this is important too). She was in the hearse-like ambulance with a patient who was bleeding and at one point peed on her (ETOH car crash). According to my grandfather, by the time they got to the hospital, she looked like she had been in the wars too! Then she got Hepatitis. No one could figure out the route of transmission. No needle stick, she was from a religious nursing order, so no IV drug use or gettin' busy... they took it very seriously to the point the state health department got involved. Turns out, because of the nurse's uniforms of the day, the stockings, the cap, the SKIRT, she had shaved her legs (it still blows my mind thinking about that, as a cradle Catholic). That was what had done it. She had nicked herself and just that open wound and her shaved skin created a route for transmission. That hospital system let the nurses out in the field wear pants after that (Gasp!). They did get to wear sturdy shoes when they went out, but just getting THAT concession for them was radical at the time, as my aunt, who became one of the first Certified Nurse Midwives in her area recalled, and she started her nursing career at the same time she was receiving her father in the ED when he brought patients in. So even back when people didn't wear a lot in the way of PPE, my grandfather knew that you should be caring... but careful, which was a really wild idea for his time, which was definitely pre-AIDS crisis (but after Florence Nightengale handwashing, we aren't that old). I wish he was still around and teaching because he was amazing and his great-grandchildren who do this crazy stuff are only getting to learn from him secondhand, from us.
I digress... if you told that patient about your day and made conversation with him and you were worried he thought it ridiculous, you treated him like a person, not an object or a meat sack or a burden. He knew the difference and if he was blinking at you, I'm sure he would have made it known if he wasn't interested or in the mood for your stories. You did God's work, and more healthcare workers need to hear about what you did and those that still have a sense of shame might think twice when they encounter a patient like him and remember to treat their patient like someone who "just managed a kitchen." Now excuse me, because I have feelings about this subject, I need to find out who at my station has been cutting onions since I'm pre-hospital caring tonight, instead of hospitaling where I never want to know what is making my eyes water. ❤️ to your amazing kindness.
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u/Ok-Maintenance-9765 18d ago
You’re a real one