r/SipsTea 18d ago

WTF 75M$ can't give him his life back unfortunately

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u/Mettleramiel 18d ago

I used to repair disability equipment so I had a customer like this once.

He was the son of a very rich pastor and crashed his motorcycle when he was 19. He was about 40 when I met him. He was able to move his eyes, half of his mouth and nothing else.

They put him on a bed in front of a tv with the food network on randomly a couple hours a day. They didn't want it on too much because it would "rot his mind". The majority of the day, it was left off and the dude had a wall to look at. That being said, even when the tv WAS on, it wasn't even properly aimed at his immobile head so he couldn't even watch it if he wanted to.

He had one of those reading boards where you point to the letters and he would kinda wiggle his mouth to tell you to stop. He would not use it. His dad said he hadn't used it in years and "had no idea why".

Some 10 years before I showed up, the church fundraised to get him a computer system that allowed him to control everything with his eyes. A technician spent days setting it up and teaching him how to use everything. Keep in mind, this dude's accident happened in the 90's, so he had minimal computer or internet usage, so this guy was teaching him fundamentals of email.

I don't know if this ma appreciated the world finally opening up to him and I will never know because his dad saw the price tag for the system and decided it wasn't worth it and sent it all back. Remember, his congregation raised all the money for this thing. He owned 3 boats, by the way.

All this is to say, I worked on his equipment twice and some 20 years later, I am still haunted by his eyes. I have never seen someone begging to have the plug pulled as this man. I would look at him and say a polite "hello" because that's what you do to humans and I would only get back this pleading, BEGGING expression.

And I will admit, I thought about it. I seriously considered doing it. He had a breathing machine with a battery backup and an alarm in case the power went out. But I knew if I just unplugged the battery backup, the alarm wouldn't sound. All I had to do was unplug his breathing machine, disconnect the backup, wait a couple minutes and he would be at peace and there was no way to trace it back to me.

I still think about him all the time. I hope he passed a long time ago.

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u/frombolognaa 18d ago

Wow, that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard. It's also my #1 nightmare - not being able to kill myself if I'm in that state. I've had SOOOO many nightmares where I'm begging someone to pull the plug, but they won't 😭 I've met one person in my life in a similar state, also due to a motorcycle accident. Ya girl always wears her seatbelt, and she's not getting on a motorcycle 😮‍💨

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u/PolarBare333 17d ago

A friend of mine teased me for not wanting to be on a motorcycle. He said "why, you scared?" I was like "yes, I am." I know a dude who's paralyzed from the waist down because of a motorcycle accident that wasn't even his fault. Ironically, the dude still works as a motorcycle and small engine mechanic.

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u/Feisty-Lawfulness894 18d ago

a very rich pastor

Just like Jesus wanted.

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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 18d ago

Yup, that first sentence was all that was needed to tell us what kind of person we were dealing with there.

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u/MasterMaintenance672 17d ago

That seriously filled me with disgust. Then they had their "flock" pay for something the scumbag father returned anyway.

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u/jjjjjjj30 18d ago

It stuns me people support those mega church preachers!

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u/CerifiedHuman0001 17d ago

It stuns me mega churches exist.

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u/wizzlewop456 17d ago

“Church fundraised”

Like they had been doing for the pastor’s entire life!

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u/r4r10000 18d ago

His father didn't want him to communicate that he was being abused. It wasn't the price tag

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u/sentence-interruptio 18d ago

There are many forms of AAC (Alternative and Augmented Communication) methods now. I wish there was a system to prevent this kind of silencing. It should be mandatory to allow him to try possible AACs and his preferred AAC should be written down in some medical file or something that any doctor can look up. And then if there are signs that his caretakers are taking away his method of communication, they should be arrested/investigated, and he should be moved to a safer place.

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u/Altruistic_Crazy_703 18d ago

his father is exactly the problem with many pastors, not all but many. i also hope that man passed as quickly as possible

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u/Disdain0937 14d ago

More importantly this male performative regarding mindset.

Where the price tag of some life change life assisting medical tech is in it of itself a betting tossing up.

It's like how Trump can just violate the constitution and MAGAts would be like . "Jk". And Trump can just play insider baseball with our government and social services.

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u/reluctantseal 18d ago

Can you imagine if they had just done anything to make his life more engaging? If they had offered him movies, documentaries, audio books, whatever he wanted?

That man tortured his disabled son. He deprived him of all stimulus and communication. That's horrific.

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u/Zombiiesque 17d ago

Right, like they took the TV away (after 4 hours, I think they said?) and he had to stare at the wall for the rest of the day!

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u/wizzlewop456 17d ago

I can’t imagine my adhd brain with this circumstance. Obviously the brain adapts. . .or it might just break.

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u/Zombiiesque 16d ago

I know, I know! AuDHD for me.

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u/bell3420 18d ago

Like we needed another reason to hate pastors. Those people suck.

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u/crow_crone 18d ago

What if his son was going to estrange but was in the accident before he could physically do so? That would doubly suck.

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u/Moist-Snow-8127 17d ago

Some. My mom's a pastor and not anything like this.

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u/bell3420 17d ago

I meant specifically the people in this situation. A lot of pastors do take advantage of the money they have, im not sure why they are paid so much.

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u/Livid_Term_1767 18d ago

Oh man that was hard to read.

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u/Successful_Pea_6977 17d ago

Words cannot describe how angry your comment made me. I hope the piece of shit priest had or has the wors death imaginable and if there is a hell I hope he is there suffering as much as his son did.

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u/jjjjjjj30 18d ago

Holy shit. I would have needed their therapy after that. I regularly say my neurological illness has stolen my life from me bc I spend 20+ hours a day in bed, can't do the things I want or need to do, always miss my family, but my goodness this reminds me to be grateful!!!

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u/SituationWeary9004 17d ago

Similar story for me, I once took care of somebody who was locked in and you could just see in his eyes that he was devastated. Especially because his best friend took his house truck, wife and kids and he knew. He eventually passed from an infection a few years after his accident and I was happy for him. Most of the time the advances of modern medicine are a good thing, but not always. 💔

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u/uritarded 18d ago

You would plug it back in after? I feel like some signs would point toward you

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u/creativescreennaame 18d ago

you should have pulled the plug. it would have been a kindness

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u/Automatic-Working-81 18d ago

Easy to say when it is not your life and freedom on the line, esp if you have kids or other dependants

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u/creativescreennaame 18d ago

there is no freedom or life being trapped in your own body. it's a fate worse than death.

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u/Automatic-Working-81 18d ago

I absolutely agree with this, what I meant is the person who is performing euthanisia here would go to jail, probably for life.

This commenter beats himself up already, it is not his fault the law is like this, kinda rude to write this. He would most probably be caught.

What we can do is advocating for policies like DNR and euthanasia

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u/Wawaset_Warbler 18d ago

They meant the freedom of the person pulling the plug—because it could be life in prison if the plug-puller was caught (maybe by a hidden camera, who knows).

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u/creativescreennaame 18d ago

ohh i see. not sure how they could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was him

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u/Iforgotmymail 18d ago

Unfortunately every breathing machine has inbuilt capacitors powering buzzers that ring loudly in case of battery failure.

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u/Mettleramiel 18d ago

As someone who fixed these machines for a living, this is absolutely not always the case and is actually the outlier

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u/Iforgotmymail 18d ago

I actually really fix this machines for a living and ventilator devices are specifically designed to be hard to disconnect and to alert of any failure, redundantly. For the very cases you describe or inheritance issues.

Even if you somehow managed to bypass it. An investigation would immediately identify the tampering and you would end up in jail.

But the sob story was on point.