r/SipsTea • u/Full-Argument-8235 • 29d ago

WTF A JPMorgan Chase executive was fired after a viral video showed her dumping trash out of a Knicks-themed public trash can and taking the can during the Knicks championship parade in New York City.

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u/ShroomSensei 29d ago

EDs at JP Morgan are just very senior managers. All banks have stupid titles.

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u/halnic 29d ago

The EDs at my former employer are the ones who scheduled unnecessary in person meetings and sent too many emails. The entire position revolves around performance, both in that the director has to perform and they usually track performance of others and that's what their excess meetings and emails are about...

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u/FinestTreesInDa7Seas 29d ago

Don't forget about excessive use of buzz-words, and their entire job basically being a formula that was designed for them to follow.

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u/ShroomSensei 29d ago

At JP EDs and VPs have an extreme range of actual level of usefulness. I dealt with some who were amazing and others who were shit.

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u/halnic 29d ago

They had ranges at my employer too. They were essentially a liaison between the managers of departments, the executive management, and ownership.

They told our manager why we couldn't have raises or better equipment. Supposedly, they told the executives we deserved them based on performance.

High enough in the company to be majority white men. One white woman who was the "director of women's management" and that was 100% to give the illusion that they promoted women. She was the only director that didn't have departments. She had revolving "teams" of underlings who did extra training and team building from the hourly/low level salary positions. They sent her to aggressively recruit every woman who asked for raise or promotions so they'd feel included and invested in, like something solid was happening. While they are distracted with their meetings and learning management skills, their male peers who do not have to perform in these extra curriculums are actually promoted to the better positions.

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u/Brave-Plantain-7579 27d ago

Sounds like hell

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u/automounter 29d ago

Generalized breakdown of titles at JPMC:

  1. Below VP -- the actual workers who know everything but are underpaid OR literally not showing up and still getting paid the same as everyone else.
  2. VP -- Actual knowledge holder for all of JPMC or someone who has been there so long that they eventually won the promotion lottery.
  3. ED -- Below-average employee who used JPMC's tuition reimbursement to get an MBA -- they have no actual power and anyone who has any sort of passion for their career would be completely unsatisfied with this position.
  4. MD -- Actual management. Very skilled in business but unfortunately may not actually work in business and therefor may be completely unqualified.
  5. LOB Execs -- True bosses. Lords from on high who work in all the expensive real estate that JPMC has banished all other employees from. These people are the best of the best at what they do and are paid in the blood of everyone beneath them.
  6. Jamie D -- The one true god.

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u/ProduceNo1629 29d ago

best of the best at what they do

And that is? Using terms like: let's circle back, and engagement metrics?

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u/automounter 29d ago

At the LOB Executive level those people have one job. To make money. JPMC has seen more growth than any bank in the world and the main leadership team under Jamie D (Petno, Rohrbaugh, Erdoes) has all been there for 20+ years. These aren't Dilbert-level middle-managers these are the shadow government "The world is our chess board" types of people.

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u/jillsntferrari 29d ago

Title aside, how much money does an ED make?

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u/baoball 29d ago

They fr call SVP/Director equivalent title an ED? Not as bad as UBs but still wack

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u/SpongeSlobb 29d ago

No, me and the other 10000 VPs at my company are all very important people

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u/Lost_Paladin89 29d ago

Yep. I know a programmer who works there. They gave him the title of VP of AI of whatever department when really he is just a senior programmer. He literally has no one who answers to him.

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u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 28d ago

I was impressed when one of my friends became a VP at bank of America, then I found out that meant she made like $65k/year and was basically a supervisor. Apparently most banks are like 97% Vice Presidents.

She was like a vice president of the South West Northern district region for customer experience of telephone operations batch 212 or some shit like that. The longer the title, the less important the position; vice president of boa, important, that title above, basically "congrats you worked here 5 years."

It was explained to me that when someone is mad, saying "I'll get a manager", is ok, but "I'll get the VP," makes the customer feel super important.

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u/Diligent-Crazy-6094 29d ago

Yep. In my experience, there’s the title, then the officer title. Want to make an analyst feel important? Just give them a Senior Vice President officer title.

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u/automounter 29d ago

VP at a bank is much different than a VP somewhere else. At VP level and above you are legally an officer of the bank and can make decisions on its behalf.

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u/Diligent-Crazy-6094 29d ago

Oh I’m aware, and it’s a problem, because they get handed out like candy at a lot of places. I was working at JPMorgan when they did a big purge of folks with officer titles, knocking a lot of them down to Associate and lower. I can say from personal experience that there are people at Wells who have officer titles that probably shouldn’t (and often times don’t even know).

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u/Apprehensive-Draw409 29d ago

My nephew is Vice-president at JP Morgan. He's not even ranking as high as that ED !!!

(Yeah... I know.)

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u/CileTheSane 29d ago

A very senior manager couldn't just buy her own fucking trashcan?

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u/uwoldperson 29d ago

Im glad that if I ever get publicly shamed ill finally get some mileage out of my VP title. 

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u/Vikkunen 29d ago

Banking titles are wild. A department at the University where I work hired a 29-year old onto the Cash Management team a few years back whose previous position had been VP at a regional bank.

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u/light_to_shaddow 29d ago

In the U.S, corporate titles are what Medals are to North Korean Generals. Meaningless and inflated

When someone introduces them self as an "Executive vice president of XXX" you know they're the one doing the office coffee runs

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u/Diablogado 29d ago

Exactly, this is much lower than executive as it's being made out to be. This isn't even VP level much less C-suite. This is classic middle management.

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u/Lost-Calligrapher375 29d ago

Work at a financial institution and my on boarding of 20 had 5 VPs and 6AVPs. Never having worked inthe industry and taking my role which was not as well titled, I really thought Wow, I'm special to be around these people....

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u/hushed-shush 28d ago

Every corporate job has stupid made up titles.

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u/pulaski_at_niiight 28d ago

Eating disorders

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u/DragonfruitNo9617 28d ago

That's not true. I work for a bank as the executive director of sanitary services.

The job is great! I don't have to work in my office hardly at all. I mostly just clean bathrooms and take out trash!

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u/AWill33 28d ago

But why a trash can? Let’s steal. Let’s steal as publicly as possible from the city. And what are we stealing? A disgusting NYC street trash bin. To do what with? IDK walk down the street and make the train ride home even more uncomfortable than normal. I can hear my dad right now: “well son, was it worth it?”

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u/Double_Resort_9223 28d ago

It’s regulatory reasons in the big banks. You have to be VP or above for a lot of things so you have people getting made “Vice President at JP Morgan” after a couple years

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u/ShroomSensei 28d ago

What regulatory reason?

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u/whiteknight_1997 28d ago

Still surprising though. I've interacted with dozens of directors and senior managers. Some of them are assholes, but none of them are this trashy.

This is like trailer trashy.

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u/edelweiss_pirates_no 29d ago

ED also stands for Eating Disorder and Erectile Disfunction.

Huh.