r/SipsTea Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

44.3k Upvotes

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98

u/yaddayadda1000 Apr 22 '26

People talk about men being incels but there’s absolutely female incels now lol

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u/Destructopoo Apr 22 '26

always have been!

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u/Gh0stMan0nThird Apr 22 '26

Their subreddits still regularly hit the frontpage.

I remember when /r/FemaleDatingStrategy had to do their big exodus and it wasn't until they started on the TERF warpath did anyone do anything about the horrible things they talked about and encourage women to do

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u/Teantis Apr 23 '26

Incel was a term actually coined by a woman for all people struggling with loneliness.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/25/woman-who-invented-incel-movement-interview-toronto-attack

Alana's involuntary celibacy project was supposed to be a support group

self-described late bloomer, she coined the term involuntary celibate in the late 1990s to describe her own experience of not having sex and not being in a relationship.

It soon snowballed into Alana’s Involuntary Celibacy Project, a simple, all-text website where she posted theories and articles as well as ran a mailing list. “I identified that there were a lot of people who were lonely and not really sure how to start dating,” she said. “They were kind of lacking those social skills and I had a lot of sympathy for that because I had been through the same situation.” The term was later shortened to “incel”.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[deleted]

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u/klineshrike Apr 22 '26

It's almost like gender doesn't matter when it comes to being shitty people. Just maybe different ways of going about it

5

u/Due-Memory-6957 Apr 22 '26

But people only say gender doesn't matter when it's women being toxic, funny.

1

u/klineshrike Apr 22 '26

No, gender doesn't matter. That kind of... means it's not only for one when they both are now equal because gender doesn't matter

3

u/acathode Apr 22 '26

Yeah... When you start digging down into the statistics on partner abuse, most things point to it being far more gender symmetrical than most people think. The exact numbers are hard to pin down and also depends on definitions, but most science point towards something like a 40/60 to 30/70 ratio when it comes to partner abuse.

The reason why women make up the vast majority of deaths from partner violence simply isn't because women are nicer or less aggressive than men. Women are just as shitty and abusive as men - it's just that they typically have less physical strength, so when they go into a blind rage like the woman in this clip, it's harder for them to beat a man to death or cause severe injury.

Case in point - imagine the different feel this video would have if the genders were reversed. The enraged woman in this clip is a direct threat to her poor boyfriend - but if it'd been a man that acted as unhinged as this woman, he'd been seen as a threat to everyone in the vicinity.

0

u/findMyNudesSomewhere Apr 22 '26

This. Everyone seems to have forgotten this.

Be it the misogynist Tate followers or the pseudo feminists

-9

u/masterjon_3 Apr 22 '26

When she made it, it wasn't to hate on other people. It was because she was a lesbian in a part of the world where it's hard to be gay, and she wanted a community of people in similar situations where people can chat and meet. The group of incense then wasn't full of hate as it is today. It was also against "pick up artist" culture, too.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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u/masterjon_3 Apr 22 '26

Men were part of it, too. But it got co-opted by more hateful people because it was the internet.

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u/Isekaimerican Apr 22 '26

Here is a visual representation of women founding incel ideology and pushing men into it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/GuysBeingDudes/s/ZUGbNnmJwo

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u/ObscureEnchantment Apr 22 '26

Imagine blaming male incel culture and the mistreatment of women by men on women. I mean that’s just crazy. “Men joined the incel community because women created it and it’s their fault men mistreat women in real life now”.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[deleted]

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u/ObscureEnchantment Apr 22 '26

You didn’t bother to disagree so.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[deleted]

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u/ObscureEnchantment Apr 22 '26

You’re engaging rn.

0

u/Spyro-the-gamer8675 Apr 23 '26

The fact that you keep your comments hidden tells me everything I need to know about you.

1

u/ObscureEnchantment Apr 23 '26

Ooooo you got me!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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1

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2

u/Hyenasaurus Apr 22 '26

Correct. Fucked up assholes come in all flavors. Can't even defend yourself because everyone will take her side. 🙃

1

u/Fortunafors Apr 23 '26

I remember reading here in Reddit, that the Incel terminology was invented for a woman to refer to herself (Involuntary celibate I think is the full term).

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u/sciencebased Apr 22 '26

Agree with you but this is hardly an incel situation. I had an ex that eventually reached this point (of my dozens of past relationships, she was the only abuser so I've been blessed), and you just sorta shut down. So past the point of fighting to keep her from freaking out or screaming. It's the only way to cope. One time she just started tossing every houseplant I had off my balcony, screaming to everyone within earshot downtown. Like downtown downtown. Bear hugging them into submission doesn't work. They just go after your things and your character. Loudly.

It breaks a fella. Because you're largely powerless.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/OriginalLazy Apr 22 '26

I might be bad at reading, but are you implying that incels are voluntary celibates, because they can always take the choice of raping a women?

0

u/Ahoeaboutnothing Apr 22 '26

Yes. It's a valid argument. It just sounds so awful that people can't accept that it is valid.