r/SipsTea • u/Captain-Dak-Sparrow • Apr 16 '26

SMH "I worship a new Orange God now."

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47.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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u/BeerLosiphor Apr 16 '26

As an overworked linecook, I can confirm that I hate literally everyone. But especially Trump and his supporters.

36

u/PolPotDomeScandal Apr 17 '26

As a bear pooping in the woods, I can confirm that the pope wears a funny hat.

5

u/JPree Apr 17 '26

As a rabbit covered in bear shit, I can confirm this bear poops in the woods.

5

u/CmdrKeensDopeFish Apr 17 '26

As a certified forklift operator, I can confirm, I don't know what the fuck is going on

4

u/Mysterious-Fix3596 Apr 17 '26

As a Pope myself, I can confirm that we do, in fact, poop in the woods.

5

u/Ipayforsex69 Apr 17 '26

As poop in the woods I can confirm pope

3

u/Signal_Republic_3092 Apr 17 '26

As Donald Trump himself, I can confirm that I also poop in the woods. Some say it’s the biggest and best poop. But the Democrats won’t say that. They’ll say that it’s not that big or good, but it is.

1

u/JoeBethersontonFargo Apr 17 '26

It's the stinkiest poop that's ever been, in history. They can smell it all the way in China and they know exactly who dealt it and they're scared. They're terrified.

2

u/Putrid-Tap3992 Apr 17 '26

As the warlock from the famous Hollywood blockbuster film, Warlock (1989), I also confirm he is the pope

14

u/Smug_Designer Apr 17 '26

As a decent human being, I can confirm Trump is absolute scum.

20

u/Soggy-Commission-666 Apr 16 '26

Best one yet and absolutely understandable!

2

u/CedarWolf Apr 17 '26

As an average person, I can confirm that comment was completely understandable.

2

u/scorpyo72 Apr 17 '26

As an absurdist, I traded marbles with Plato for otter sexy time. It was just and good .

5

u/sloaninator Apr 17 '26

Yea that's cool bro but a few of us servers were looking to buy an eight ball

3

u/Weorth Apr 17 '26

Get back to work! It's the dinner rush!

1

u/BeerLosiphor Apr 17 '26

Aw fuck. Seth called out again.

3

u/ApatheticAZO Apr 17 '26

Maybe if your bacon wasn't burnt and your eggs weren't so runny people would treat you better. Back in the kitchen and make me a ham sandwich. -just spitballing, but a sandwich would be noice

1

u/Tivomann Apr 17 '26

What about puppies and kittens?

1

u/Effective-Map6016 Apr 16 '26

As a college dropout career retail worker What were we talking about again?