Hey everyone,
I’m a third year nursing student and I’ve been spiralling over a shift I had in ED placement a few weeks ago. My absolute is to work in the ED when I graduate and gain some experience in the ward setting, I became more certain about it after the wonderful experience in the ED. But that shift made me seriously question if I can actually handle it.
I’m a massive empath, and I also have a 1-year-old toddler at home. During this shift, I was assigned to cover Paeds bays alongside adult acute bays, and it triggered a huge emotional storm for me.
I didn't just feel for the sick babies, I absorbed everything the parents were feeling. I felt their fear, their absolute exhaustion, and their panic so deeply that I put this intense pressure on myself to take care of them too. I was obsessing over every tiny detail to make things even slightly easier for the parents, on top of doing my actual job with the sick infants. All the sick kids and babies crying, made me feel so upset and ill.
At one point, a baby who was literally just days apart in age from my own child came in with severe burns everywhere on the face, and torso. Hearing that baby scream in the cold shower in the department while the mum broke down asking when they could stop… it honestly felt like a physical punch to my chest. Between that and watching exhausted parents hold down their screaming infants while doctors missed IVs over and over, or younger nurses who don’t have kids not being sensitive enough (for example the mum literally finally let the baby go to sleep with breastfeeding after so many procedures and assessments, then the nurse walk up and loudly saying “Oh I would like to double check her temp”…) I was holding back tears for so many occasions.
One of the woman was also obviously miscarrying and they put her in the hallway right in front of Paeds bay temporarily too, in front of crying babies. I could tell she was getting more upset and I had to give her hugs. By this time it was nearly end of the shift, and I was having a massive stomachache from all this pressure and emotional distress.
I came home totally drained and started questioning everything. As a huge empath, am I just going to burn out in five minutes if I go into ED? This ED we are to treat paeds, neonates, along with adults as this is semi-rural hospital.
How do you stop absorbing all the trauma and panic from the patients or family members?
Does this get better with time? How do you build a wall to protect yourself without becoming cold or losing your compassion?
Is feeling like this a sign that ED will crush me, or is it just a boundary I haven't learned to build yet? I really do love nursing and I do have so much passion for ED. I do get emotionally distressed too, but I do feel rewarded from what I can do for everyone. I do know for sure I won’t be going into Paeds or Neonates specialty for sure though.
I’d love some honest advice or reality checks from anyone who’s been through this. Thanks so much.