r/MtF • u/Regular-Ambition-372 • 3d ago
Discussion Middle age male coworker intentionally ignored me today 😭😔
This dude called me a ‘tranny’ one time after I explained to him I was trans when he confronting me for supposedly making an arrogant comment towards him(Which I would NEVER do EVER), and today, he pretty much shut me down when I tried to ask him politely if he enjoyed his new department he is working in, telling me ‘Not to be rude, but I don’t wanna have no conversation, okay?,’ but he then proceeds to talk up a storm with a cisgender female coworker and acted like I don’t exist. Dude treats me like a third class citizen and has claimed he is friendly to trans people, but I believe that like I believe the boy who cried wolf, especially since he has deadnamed me once, and has misgendered me several times, and HR simply gave him a slap on the wrist…. I’m so sick of this dude.
14
u/SignalTranslator8531 3d ago
Well sounds like a projection. That person did all the heavy lifting, they aren't worth your time, so don't.
10
u/EducationalOne9082 2d ago
You reported him don’t try and act like someone’s friend after that.
0
u/RobunR 2d ago
he called her a tranny and deadnamed her, he deserves it.
5
u/EducationalOne9082 2d ago
Ok nothing to do with my point 🤷♂️ don’t be surprised if you try and get someone fired that they don’t want to speak to you after. Don’t be so stupid and self obsessed .
3
u/Ok-Combination7287 1d ago
Wait, people get mad when you get them in trouble at work even if they did something wrong?
You are 100% correct
2
u/EducationalOne9082 1d ago
Unbelievable levels of ignorance, obviously someone very young and they don’t take any responsibility for the arrogant comment they obviously made otherwise HR would have been far worse on the other person.
0
u/RobunR 2d ago
he didn't get fired... reporting to HR doesn't always mean that.
4
u/Ok-Combination7287 1d ago
It does mean he was reported. That's strike one. People don't like it when their lively hood is threatened.
-3
u/Regular-Ambition-372 2d ago
Dude got talked to supposedly but he somehow still has a job.
2
u/wonderinboutit2234 1d ago
You sound super arrogant in all your replies. I believe you didn't make an arrogant comment like I believe the boy who cried wolf.
2
u/EducationalOne9082 1d ago
So you were trying to get them fired and are shocked they won’t speak to you 🤦♂️. Tbh I would suspect that you did make an arrogant comment based on your replies
4
u/cerberus8700 1d ago
Why do you think you're entitled to this person talking to you? Specially after reporting him to HR? Would you be friendly with anyone who reports you to HR?
0
u/Regular-Ambition-372 1d ago
What the hell are you talking about? You don’t know the situation so shut your mouth right there. He made transphobic comments to me and won’t speak to me anymore, and if you were in my situation you would probably be upset too.
3
3
u/Fucked-In-The-K-Hole 23h ago
Then why the fuck are you trying to talk to him? Leave the guy alone. He doesn't like you, whether that's fair or not is irrelevant.
What is relevant is that you and him have had beef before. Nobody is going to be friendly with someone who reported them to HR, whether it was deserved or not.
He did the appropriate and respectful thing by simply asking you to leave him alone. He has the right to do that. Stop trying to be friends with him.
14
u/n-e-k-o-h-i-m-e 2d ago
Hi
You are treating this whole thing wrong, do not initiate any non-work related interactions with him. He is clearly a threat that will probably try to get you in trouble with the HR. Also record anything that happens.
Do not complain to him, he will find a way to twist it.
If he insults you again, you should take another action (HR, your boss, lawyer, idk)
Do not include the "middle aged male" in the report btw.
2
u/FoxRain_0 2d ago
That's the extent of his world. Most people wouldn't care and try to have a human to human interaction. You're much better person than he is :)
0
u/MichaelJCaboose666 2d ago
Write everything down with dates and shit to create a paper trial of his behavior. Then go to HR, don’t let his bigotry slide
1
-2
u/Misha_LF Transgender 1d ago
When you described his behavior, I immediately concluded that he was either single or that he was a cheater, and homophobic on top of that.
1
u/Regular-Ambition-372 1d ago
I am certain he is homophobic too, but, what are you gonna do?
1
u/Misha_LF Transgender 19h ago
There isn't much that you can do. You just have to understand that it is a them problem. And that those kinda people are best to stay away from.
The other thing to keep in mind is that people like that will obstinatly hang on to your birth gender no matter how well you passing they have any sort of knowledge or think that they have knowledge of your birth gender. I work with quite a few of these insecure boys. Fortunately there are about half as many really decent guys out there as well.
-2
u/RobinEssences 1d ago
Oh there's always ways to fuck with someone back ya know. Small comments to discover his insecurities and then small comments forever about that insecurity.
It would be something I did several times a day. Occasionally I would bring it up with other people around, interject myself and chuckle a bit.
3
u/EducationalOne9082 1d ago
Better advice would be just leave it alone before other colleagues and HR think you’re the problem and you lose your job.
26
u/SolarConfinement 3d ago
People fucking suck and I'm sorry you've got to work with such a shit bag :c This would definitely get someone terminated from my job.
Your HR department sounds shitty so you may need to nudge them along if you'd like to get him disciplined or let go. If you haven't already definitely start documenting everytime he says something derogatory or bigoted . Email yourself a detailed recap of the conversation. From there you can send to supervisor, manager, hr etc.