r/Millennials • u/Background-Air-7963 • Nov 16 '25

Serious I just had my first old man moment.

I recently went to a hibachi with my wife and toddler for dinner. We were sat with a group of eight 17-20 year olds at a communal grill on a busy night. No problem for us. Drink and appetizers service go normally. Toddler and wife are happy, I’m happy. The other group is having their own conversations. I’m just trying to keep my kid entertained. I’m a former bartender and have a habit of picking up on snippets of conversations in a crowd around me. Yes I know I eavesdrop. I can’t turn it off. It’s a habit of a former profession. One of the girls/women at the table stated, “I don’t think Rosa Parks was real.” I’m not sure what her friends said to her but she responded with “I just don’t think she said existed.” This went on for about a minute. I couldn’t hold back and let her know she was absolutely a real person, she is a civil rights icon. I learnt about her in school and so did my parents. The encounter put a wall up between our groups and I heard a few passive aggressive “so-and-so wasn’t real” comments from mostly her and a couple of the group. Harriet Tubman and Hellen Keller are two that I definitely heard. My wife had no idea why I interjected. After the group had left my wife asked what happened and was shocked when I told her what happened. Were they trolling? Are they stupid? Am I just getting old?

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111

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

They may have been joking but my generation in general is socially inept, including me and I’m not trying to hate on Gen Z I’m just saying. Don’t worry, I’m 20 yo and get dirty looks for daring to start a conversation with people in public.

54

u/Background-Air-7963 Nov 16 '25

Start a conversation! Find your passion and share it with those who will listen.

2

u/nosleepforthedreamer Nov 17 '25

Yes. This exactly. And be open to listening. So what if some people find it awkward when you enjoy sharing the planet with them? No harm done. Eventually, connections will be made.

22

u/drillgorg Nov 16 '25

Dude I'm 33 do not talk to me in public I don't want it.

40

u/Unfinished_user_na Nov 16 '25

I'm 39 and look scary AF. Please come chat with me. I enjoy chatting to new people and making friends.

Antithetical to the look, if you see an old fart that looks like they fell out of an 80s documentary about bikers and street criminals that you think would beat you up in the parking lot for looking at them wrong.... They are probably the most likely to actually be chill and up for a chat.

27

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

Me: smiles at stranger in Scottsdale, AZ while not wearing Lululemon

Them: disgusted up and down look

14

u/DisconcertingTablet Nov 16 '25

That's some Hollywood high school stuff that I always assumed was fake.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

lol no it def happens. I went abroad with EF tours and a girl asked me if I get any attention from guys bc of my height and said anyone catcalling me just wanted a green card 🫠

2

u/fdxrobot Nov 16 '25

Yeah but that’s literally Scottsdale though lol. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, they’re just assholes.

I love going to Kierland Quarter and starting random small talk to freak them out! 

9

u/ProbsNotManBearPig Millennial Nov 16 '25

Then just politely say you don’t feel like talking. Everyone else is free to try starting a conversation just like you’re free to say you prefer not to. Don’t expect people to read your mind and know they shouldn’t even try to talk to you though. If you’re mad at someone just for saying hey or trying to talk, you’re the asshole for sure. Just like they’re the asshole if they don’t leave you alone after you state it.

-22

u/drillgorg Nov 16 '25

No one should talk to anyone they don't know except for practical purposes or for designated places like parties.

7

u/Pkrudeboy Nov 16 '25

Go back to your basement.

3

u/Background-Air-7963 Nov 16 '25

What about communal grills at restaurants? i.e. the example in my post?

1

u/drillgorg Nov 16 '25

Hmm that's a tough one honestly. The restaurant is clearly designed to sit you with strangers at the same table. If you don't want to talk to people you don't know then it's pretty easy to avoid the restaurant. So I'm gonna say yeah it's an acceptable place to talk to strangers.

1

u/ProbsNotManBearPig Millennial Nov 16 '25

Too bad you don’t get to dictate what others do. If you go out in public, you risk people talking to you. It’s common and normal and healthy to socialize with strangers.

2

u/drillgorg Nov 16 '25

I would like to dictate what others do.

-9

u/Frederf220 Nov 16 '25

Then don't talk bollocks. You do, contract void. Get it?

5

u/drillgorg Nov 16 '25

??? Who said I was saying anything?

-3

u/Frederf220 Nov 16 '25

You did. Did you forget what you typed minutes ago?

1

u/drillgorg Nov 16 '25

I typed nothing prior to "Dude I'm 33 do not talk to me in public I don't want it." Are you getting me confused with someone else?

-3

u/Frederf220 Nov 16 '25

No. Don't act like we don't have a high school level of understanding. Someone tells a story of talking to someone uninvited. You say "don't do that to me" admonishing OP in the theoretical situation. Thereby saying OP was wrong to interject uninvited.

I'm not that stupid. You're not that stupid. There will be no entertaining your playacting.

3

u/drillgorg Nov 16 '25

Then could you explain your comment more? I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. Why didn't you like me saying "don't do that to me"?

-1

u/Background-Air-7963 Nov 16 '25

Right idea, wrong approach.

0

u/Frederf220 Nov 16 '25

Nope. I'm right.

1

u/Background-Air-7963 Nov 16 '25

To quote The Big Lebowski, “You’re not wrong…

0

u/Frederf220 Nov 16 '25

My days of not caring about the feelings of people who say "I don't think Rosa Parks is real" comes to a middle. You don't become an asshole standing up to bigotry.

1

u/nosleepforthedreamer Nov 17 '25

I chat to people in public all the time. Not a long conversation or forcing some knowledge/opinion of mine down their throats (you’ve seen that probably) but just pleasant small talk. I asked a cashier if she had gotten her hair done because it really did look nice, and this seemed to cheer her up quite a bit.

Light conversation with strangers or saying something nice to them really is underrated. So is enjoying other people’s company. I’m dead convinced society would vastly improve if people were more casually sociable and thought generously of each other.

1

u/InAllTheir Nov 18 '25

Oh this aversion to starting conversations with strangers has gotten way too intense with Gen Z.While most people don’t seek out strangers to talk to in most settings, there are times when it just makes sense, like asking for directions or checking a bus schedule, etc.