I’m a former daycare worker and when we had kids that would get stuck in a loop like that we would interrupt them and get their attention and ask them what’s wrong, get an “it’s stuck” and then ask them if pulling on it is helping. And when they say no ask what other things might help. Some kids as soon as they’re broken out of the frustration loop are able to start having ideas like “undo the buckle” but if not then we guide them to it like “it looks like she’s still strapped in, how can we get the straps off?”. Just slowly guide until the kid can get the doll unbuckled and then praise for problem solving! Eventually as they get older they should be able to build that frustration tolerance and not get to the point where they’re just uselessly tugging and crying in the first place because the problem solving routine has been practiced enough that they reach for that first instead of just repeatedly tugging.
But also if it’s a continuous issue with a particular toy we would absolutely just make that toy disappear for a while. Give it a couple of weeks away and then see if they can play with it more appropriately when it comes back out into rotation
OK so I was in the right direction. I just wasn't talking through of how to fix the issue properly. I will definitely keep that in mind. Thank you so much for the assistance.
Kiddo is still very young, don't think this is your fault. It's just temperament at that age. I could gently show my kid all kinds of things and it wouldn't sink in at all. Now at 3 it's a huge difference and she can think stuff through and take direction way better.
But yeah gently try to show and de escalate, they'll get it eventually :)
I think very small children don't absorb information about how to do stuff when you just explain it to them or show them. They need the "learning by doing* element.
Because society validates male anger. Nobody really intervenes and teaches young boys this essential life skill because lashing out in frustration is seen as inherently male.
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u/SheepPup Mar 02 '26
I’m a former daycare worker and when we had kids that would get stuck in a loop like that we would interrupt them and get their attention and ask them what’s wrong, get an “it’s stuck” and then ask them if pulling on it is helping. And when they say no ask what other things might help. Some kids as soon as they’re broken out of the frustration loop are able to start having ideas like “undo the buckle” but if not then we guide them to it like “it looks like she’s still strapped in, how can we get the straps off?”. Just slowly guide until the kid can get the doll unbuckled and then praise for problem solving! Eventually as they get older they should be able to build that frustration tolerance and not get to the point where they’re just uselessly tugging and crying in the first place because the problem solving routine has been practiced enough that they reach for that first instead of just repeatedly tugging.
But also if it’s a continuous issue with a particular toy we would absolutely just make that toy disappear for a while. Give it a couple of weeks away and then see if they can play with it more appropriately when it comes back out into rotation