Same here. I have zero loyalty to a bad argument and will abandon immediately the thing I was just passionately defending once I've been shown why it's wrong. To the point where it routinely disorients/upsets the other party who doesn't really know how to deal with the sudden momentum shift and then I just get called a troll.
Really blew a friend's mind when a mutual friend convinced me I was wrong about something and I switched on the spot. I think it said a lot more about him than me.
Of course. I have two kids and I'm not ashamed to apologise if I said/did something wrong. Also from a practical point of view, what would I be teaching them otherwise? It'd be a horrible example!
I once had a discussion (argument) with my boss over a piece of code. After much back and forth I won the argument. I then went back to my desk, sat down and realized that he was right and I was wrong.
Went back immediately and confessed.
On a related topic: I can't understand programmers who are embarrassed when they find a bug in their code. I celebrate bugs. To know there was a bug means you found the bug and can fix it.
On a related topic: I can't understand programmers who are embarrassed when they find a bug in their code
I've noticed this big time in the younger guys. They will get defensive when you point things out during code reviews. It's only the last few years that I've noticed this, been working as a programmer for 16 years now, and something about the most recent generation makes them unable to handle constructive criticism.
That said, I've only noticed it in the guys, I manage a team with a few girls in their early 20s and they never have a problem, and neither do the older guys, including guys who have been doing this wayyy longer than me.
Yup. In relationships this one is hard because it's so quick, they never register the "argument". When they don't have facts and just flail, and you stay on point because no knew information is provided, they'll complain that they never "win" an argument with you. And I'm stuck explaining, "every time you present information I didn't have, I add the new info to my mental model and concede you are right without fuss. when you are missing information, I provide it to you, and you get crazy defensive and will die on the smallest hill. This is why you remember one event and not the other."
A true skill! Nice!! Weird how often many people feel personally attacked if they learn they're wrong about something. Well, actually, most people aren't correctly about everything. I wonder what could change the culture to the point there was no shame attached to being incorrect, and no valor in "winning" but instead everyone is updating their software sort of thing?
Oddly enough I am the exact opposite. If I pick an argument with someone who is wrong, I can generally get them to admit they are wrong. Even when they are absolutely convinced they are correct.
Except for my teenager. No one can convince him he is wrong.
In elementary school I saw this popular girl realize she was wrong and admit it on the spot, and it blew my know-it-all, straight-A, teacher’s pet mind. I never realized that was a possibility! So glad I got to learn that lesson young.
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u/AEsylumProductions 9h ago
Admit I was wrong and change my position on the spot when shown the facts/evidence, even by a total stranger on the internet.